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-   -   Spousal support is NOT enough!!!!!!! (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/friends-family-substance-abusers/171593-spousal-support-not-enough.html)

MsPINKAcres 03-13-2009 06:45 AM

Spousal support is NOT enough!!!!!!!
 
After the last couple of weeks of processing, praying, journaling, and lots and lots of acceptance work - I had begun to be in a much better and healthier place.

My joy, peace and positive outlook were beginning to return and I was truly ready to face my ex in Court on Tuesday (3/17) and not have that fear in my eyes and knot in my gut.

WELL - of course the disease decides to always carry another surprise blow and sucker punch you one more time just when you think it's safe to smile again.

This morning I check my bank account - wahoo - today is payday - right? WRONG!!

My paycheck is over $300 short. I get a print out of my check stub and there is a garnishment of $336. After a few calls, I found out this is for my ex's hospital bill from 2006.

I'm sure that I received numerous letters and papers on this but they went to our house, instead of my new address. My ex is refusing to give me my mail that the Post Office doesn't forward - so therefore I didn't receive any notification.

This is for a bill where he had surgery - he actually had insurance from his employer but he didn't follow-up with the paperwork necessary. I didn't do it for him because he was sober at that time and I was detaching and letting him have the responsibility of taking care of his own business.

Hmm looks like that didn't work out so well for me either.

Geez I'm tired - since the bill is over $10,000 - this will be an on going garnishment - I will lose close to $700 a month in income -

I understand why people give up - this is enough to be so discouraging to make you just wanna quit.

I'm just so tired of fighting - fighting a fight that I will probably never win.

Yes, I have a call in to my atty to see what we can do - but I don't imagine there is anything - once again I'm in that community property state and the divorce won't be final until the end of May.

I know we don't give advice here and don't tell people what to do - but good gravy folk - run don't frickin walk away from that addict, if he is anything like my ex - it's a poison that kills you and everything you have and it takes forever for them to go away.

liesagain 03-13-2009 06:52 AM

oh I am so sorry Rita. I know sorry just isnt enough for days like this

I hope your lawyer is able to work this out............maybe theres some type of Injured spouse clause like the IRS has

If NOT maybe this will reduce and money that your AH will get in spousal support.........
is there anyway that those papers can be filed now for the insurance to get payment from them? Because at this point its for you so maybe thats something you can look into.

thats the best I have honey, except breath and hugs and remember we here at SR love ya

Impurrfect 03-13-2009 07:00 AM

((Rita)) - ditto what Anvil said, and a personal request that the Karma police give your XAH what's coming to him.

I'm sorry, sweetie, but sending an extra boatload of hugs and prayers your way.

Amy

gotahavfaith 03-13-2009 07:59 AM

That just stinks! So sorry you are going thru this:ghug3

Freedom1990 03-13-2009 09:43 AM

Good grief! I am so sorry, Rita! Sending you lots of gentle hugs on the Kansas winds! :ghug :ghug

devastated 03-13-2009 11:46 AM

That's terrible! However, I'm a person that never gives up and will fight to the very end.

If it were me, I would call this creditor and ask if they could lower the payment since you are separated and cannot take care of your obligations if they continue to take this amount. By taking this amount they are causing you problems with your creditors.

If that doesn't work, I would talk with my attorney and see if he could work something out with them.

Damn creditors, once they get ahold of you they never let go!

I sure hope it works out for you.

Hugs, Devastated

Chino 03-13-2009 12:00 PM

Want me to go beat up your ex? :D

I'm saying prayers you find resolution and no more nasty surprises!

GwenMarie30 03-13-2009 02:00 PM

I dont have anything in way of ideas either. All I got is support and more hugs for you too Rita. You dont deserve this. Im sorry. I hope you find your way thru this too. One day it will be over.

outtolunch 03-13-2009 02:22 PM


Originally Posted by anvilhead (Post 2147694)

screw it, let's load up the codie bus shall we? :bus


I'm onboard. First stop is to our attorney's office. Then we're going to stop at Wendy's for a group Frosty and plot.

NeedingHelp7 03-13-2009 02:50 PM

It doesn't sound legal that the hospital nor a collection agency can do that, not from your check, community property state or not. I pray that your lawyer, or someone gets it stopped immediately.

Huggs,
NH7

cece1960 03-13-2009 06:07 PM

I hope the lawyer can work something out for you. Ideally, it would come out of his spousal support.

I know the law doesn't always follow the right path but:
I once had a friend that had a sister going through a divorce. The sister's ex fought her on every turn when it was between the lawyers. The couple had a disabled child to boot. Once in front of the judge (keep in mind a lot of the dealing isn't heard by the judge) the court threw out the so called deal on the table, called the ex a few choice names, and awarded her MORE than she was asking...because he could.

Keep your head up and your ears open. And that shuffling you'll hear behind you? Thats us...the codie cavalry ;)

marle 03-14-2009 04:52 AM

My daughter recently got a summons from a credit card that she defaulted on. I did a lot of reading about it on the internet to see what could happen and how best to handle it. The number one piece of advice was to answer the summons because if she did not then she would have a default judgement entered against her and they could garnish her paycheck. So she answered the summons and then she called the creditor and made a settlement. Her bill was originally for $1000 when it went into collections. The credit card company wrote it off as a bad debt but continued to add interest and late fees which brought the total up to over $2000. She settled for $1840. The lawyers handling it for Capitol One said that they would send the settlement papers out on Tuesday of this week. Two more calls from my daughter to them and they keep saying the papers are in the mail. She has until the 18th to pay them but won't until she has that settlement offer in writing. So I really feel for you on this one. There need to be more laws to protect people who are innocent like you are Rita.

Did your ex sign for the summons because they had to have sent you a summons. My daughter had to sign for hers. If your husband signed for yours without your permission, you may have a case there. So basically they sued your husband, he did not appear in court, they got a judgement against him, he is not paying and so they went back to court to garnish your wages, all without your knowledge. I do believe that you have a case there and can probably get the amount reduced. Hugs and prayers, Marle

Seren 03-14-2009 05:23 AM


Originally Posted by anvilhead (Post 2147694)
no Chino!!! we can't injure him until AFTER they are divorced or she'll have to pay for his hospital stay too!

god this has me so steamed. screw it, let's load up the codie bus shall we? :bus

I've got my ticket, too! I'm so sorry about all of this and hope that your attorney will find a way to protect you in the process!!!!!

Hugs and prayers!!
HG

Momsrainbow 03-14-2009 06:49 AM

Ya'll got room on the bus for one more? Sign me up!!!!!!

I certainly hope that your attorney comes up with a plan. Something does not seem to be right,legally I mean.

My AH had back surgey in Little Rock a couple years ago and of course he never attempted to pay a thing. Thank goodness he was sent to prison (out in May this yr.)
The hospital sent letters and called. I told them he was in prison and send the bills to him. He always bought an expensive ATV without my knowledge and never made a payment (loan was where my family had banked for yrs.) called them as soon as I heard about the loan they could never expect a payment from him and I would not pay on it. The repo man came and I told him it was at the police impound and he picked it up. Bank called and said they were sorry they made the loan but thought since we were married it would be a good loan. Little did they know.

Three years almost and not a letter, garnishment or phone call on his debts. I imagine they wrote them off. Or I will be in for a big suprise and AH will have a bigger one.

Sorry for rambling but it just p***** me off.

Giant hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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