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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: md
Posts: 3,042
My exabf was gambling for his heroin. He used to be king of the pool hall. And spent it all on drugs. When he would lose (not often, he claimed) he told me that he had this way of getting money out of cigarette machines. Some kind of way of breaking into them. Eventually he did a couple of years in prison for this before I met him.
I believed that he was done with all of that when I met him, but I was wrong. When he began using again, which I recently found out happened during our brief relationship, he started by begging money from his mom and anyone else he could sucker into it. Then he moved to "hacking." That's giving illegal cab rides around the city for a couple bucks a pop, very dangerous. I bet it won't be long before he's stealing and is back in jail again. He's picked up a couple of white 24-hour key tags at NA meetings lately. I wonder what happened to his theory "I got this, I'm all better. I'm totally done with drugs." Yeah, right!
KJ
I believed that he was done with all of that when I met him, but I was wrong. When he began using again, which I recently found out happened during our brief relationship, he started by begging money from his mom and anyone else he could sucker into it. Then he moved to "hacking." That's giving illegal cab rides around the city for a couple bucks a pop, very dangerous. I bet it won't be long before he's stealing and is back in jail again. He's picked up a couple of white 24-hour key tags at NA meetings lately. I wonder what happened to his theory "I got this, I'm all better. I'm totally done with drugs." Yeah, right!
KJ
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Lost in Ca
Posts: 253
Wow they are pretty creative. My AH would also say he won money playing pool but, I never saw it and he was always broke...... So many of these stories are called light bulbs for me!!!!!!!!!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: lancaster, PA
Posts: 852
hey there unhappy.....
Nothing in life is for free. I think that at times they can get an 'advance' on drugs... sooner or later they have to pay up.
I also think that addicts 'share' with one another... (I know for a fact) that my abf has given pills to a buddy. I also know that when he has had no money (not often unfortunately) his buddies "hook him up".... they usually go out for drinks....
Kinda like when we were in grade school sharing each others candy....
Love,
Cessy
Nothing in life is for free. I think that at times they can get an 'advance' on drugs... sooner or later they have to pay up.
I also think that addicts 'share' with one another... (I know for a fact) that my abf has given pills to a buddy. I also know that when he has had no money (not often unfortunately) his buddies "hook him up".... they usually go out for drinks....
Kinda like when we were in grade school sharing each others candy....
Love,
Cessy
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Jersey
Posts: 229
My RAH used to use the phrase "I'll fly, you buy" with his drug buddies. If one didn't have money they would be the one doing the picking up and the other would buy...
They also used to steal from the bigger stores, (walk right out with the stuff!) and return it later that day at another location, saying they lost the receipt, blah, blah, blah... and they would get either the money back or store credit, which they would then give to someone in exchange for money...
It still amazes me that they were able to do some of these things... so very creative they are! Now, if I could only get him to use that creativity in positive ways!
They also used to steal from the bigger stores, (walk right out with the stuff!) and return it later that day at another location, saying they lost the receipt, blah, blah, blah... and they would get either the money back or store credit, which they would then give to someone in exchange for money...
It still amazes me that they were able to do some of these things... so very creative they are! Now, if I could only get him to use that creativity in positive ways!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
I'm not sure about "crack college", but I did graduate from "crackology 101" to 102
Cynical is right...what about YOU, ((unhappy))..what would it take to change your screen name to ((Happy))? Totally irregardless of HIM!
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Cynical is right...what about YOU, ((unhappy))..what would it take to change your screen name to ((Happy))? Totally irregardless of HIM!
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Posts: 61
My abf would loan out his cell phones for his dope. Every month he would "lose" a phone and would ask if for the money to buy one (I was in control of his money). It was always some sort of excuse as to why his phones went missing - I dropped it at work (he repairs heavy equipment tires), I set it down on the back of the truck and it mus have fallen off...blah, blah, blah...
Now on a regular day, a sober day, his cell phone was glued to his hand. He wouldn't set it down until he went to bed. He wasn't waiting for anything - I could tell by the way he was acting - he would tell me that he was afraid to lose it or drop it.
He's done the 'skimming' thing as well. When he didn't have money, his 'friends' would give him a little. His dealer used to give him freebees cause, as he told me once, "He's my best customer!" Hard to believe that my abf was his guys best customer in a city like Phoenix! But with a $400/day heroin/crack habit...I guess he very well could've been.
Now on a regular day, a sober day, his cell phone was glued to his hand. He wouldn't set it down until he went to bed. He wasn't waiting for anything - I could tell by the way he was acting - he would tell me that he was afraid to lose it or drop it.
He's done the 'skimming' thing as well. When he didn't have money, his 'friends' would give him a little. His dealer used to give him freebees cause, as he told me once, "He's my best customer!" Hard to believe that my abf was his guys best customer in a city like Phoenix! But with a $400/day heroin/crack habit...I guess he very well could've been.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Lost in Ca
Posts: 253
Thank you for all of your responses. Cynical one and Impurrfect the funny thing about lifes acheivements and goals are that I have done so much in my 36 years here on earth. Cynical one here is the post all about me ...... Believe me I have seen many things and I am thankful for having my parents set me up to be an independent young woman So, I want everyone reading this to know that everything that I talk about in this post I am deeply humbled to share!!!I started my educational plight at 5. I actually skipped K and started in 1st grade. I attended private school all of my life. I missed 1 day in twelve years and that day I was hit by a car 
. I graduate top of my class(250 students) at 16 years old. I started attending college classes at 14 and went on full time at 16. I was excepted into may prestigious collegesbut, choose to follow my brother to a more popular PARTY university LOL...... My parent stuck by my decision. When I first went off to college I stayed in the dorms and I had a strick schedule because I was only 16. I left that college in two years and went back home and attended school for 1 year and decided I wanted to go out of state with my love.....my grandma.... I finish college at age 20 with a degree in Communications. Soon after I returned home and worked for a year and decided I wanted to go to another state and live with my mom side of the family and get to know them. There I started substitute teaching for 45 dollars a day. In between I finished my LVN nursing license. I knew I couldn't survive this way so, after a year I went back home. My fathers friend got me a job as a full time teacher at LAUSD. I went back to school and finished my general education credential and Masters in education. Then I started working for another district in special education and found my passion with working with this population of students so I went back to school and got my special education credential. In the mean time I married the love of my life and we had our first child. while working I still pursued higher education...... and after 5 years of trying I was pregnant again. While pregnant I went back to school to pursue my administrative credential and masters. My son is now 2 and I am finished with that too. I will apply to be a principal for the next school year. I am currently registering for my PHD. I am a motivated person and I am determined no one is going to stop my determination. I think kids follow through example and I am truly blessed to have had this educational experience. I am naive in some areas but, believe me I also have common and a little street knowledge. My uncles aunts and cousins are people my parents tried to protect me from growing up. I had uncles that gambled for a living and cousins that sold drugs.and family members on drugs. My parents sheltered me from the drugs thank goodness. But, I do love to gamble LOL.... I can and always will be able to provide for my children (Legally)...
Cynical in 5 years I can see myself continuing to be myself and not letting others define who I am. I have always said I love my spouse but, I am not willing to give up life or living life for him or anyone else for that matter. I just wanted to make sure that for the sake of my children and my relationship with my GOD that I tried everything possible to extend my hand in love and hope before I surrendered. The funny thing about me that you probably never heard in my voice before is that I am soooo good to sooo many people. I guess that is the cancer in me that when I am DONE I am DONE forever and there is NOOOOO turning back. That why I wanted to put 100% in trying to deal with this issue. I am strong but, even the strongest people get weak.
Thanks for listening I AM GREATLY HUMBLED AND HONORED that someone would ask about me for a change.....
. I graduate top of my class(250 students) at 16 years old. I started attending college classes at 14 and went on full time at 16. I was excepted into may prestigious collegesbut, choose to follow my brother to a more popular PARTY university LOL...... My parent stuck by my decision. When I first went off to college I stayed in the dorms and I had a strick schedule because I was only 16. I left that college in two years and went back home and attended school for 1 year and decided I wanted to go out of state with my love.....my grandma.... I finish college at age 20 with a degree in Communications. Soon after I returned home and worked for a year and decided I wanted to go to another state and live with my mom side of the family and get to know them. There I started substitute teaching for 45 dollars a day. In between I finished my LVN nursing license. I knew I couldn't survive this way so, after a year I went back home. My fathers friend got me a job as a full time teacher at LAUSD. I went back to school and finished my general education credential and Masters in education. Then I started working for another district in special education and found my passion with working with this population of students so I went back to school and got my special education credential. In the mean time I married the love of my life and we had our first child. while working I still pursued higher education...... and after 5 years of trying I was pregnant again. While pregnant I went back to school to pursue my administrative credential and masters. My son is now 2 and I am finished with that too. I will apply to be a principal for the next school year. I am currently registering for my PHD. I am a motivated person and I am determined no one is going to stop my determination. I think kids follow through example and I am truly blessed to have had this educational experience. I am naive in some areas but, believe me I also have common and a little street knowledge. My uncles aunts and cousins are people my parents tried to protect me from growing up. I had uncles that gambled for a living and cousins that sold drugs.and family members on drugs. My parents sheltered me from the drugs thank goodness. But, I do love to gamble LOL.... I can and always will be able to provide for my children (Legally)... Cynical in 5 years I can see myself continuing to be myself and not letting others define who I am. I have always said I love my spouse but, I am not willing to give up life or living life for him or anyone else for that matter. I just wanted to make sure that for the sake of my children and my relationship with my GOD that I tried everything possible to extend my hand in love and hope before I surrendered. The funny thing about me that you probably never heard in my voice before is that I am soooo good to sooo many people. I guess that is the cancer in me
that when I am DONE I am DONE forever and there is NOOOOO turning back. That why I wanted to put 100% in trying to deal with this issue. I am strong but, even the strongest people get weak.Thanks for listening I AM GREATLY HUMBLED AND HONORED that someone would ask about me for a change.....
Searching for Serenity
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 128
Short term loans (trust me, you don't have to have ANY kind of good credit to qualify for those, they prey on addicts) or cash advances on credit cards.
When my A went into treatment he had a couple thousand dollars worth of short term loans built up (each with 150- 680 % interest on them! totally NOT exaggerating on that, btw). When his parents took care of the loans for him, his dad told me, "i just don't understand how he could have done this. when he was in college he was really good with his money and we never had to worry about him spending the money we gave him for rent." I said (and i know this because A has told me this before) "that's because when you gave him $300 for rent at the beginning of the month, he would immediately go out and buy $300 worth of pot, bag it up and sell it for $750 and keep some for himself. then he had pot for the month, paid his rent and had $450 worth of spending money." his dad was like..."oh, well, yeah I knew he did that."
*sigh*
When my A went into treatment he had a couple thousand dollars worth of short term loans built up (each with 150- 680 % interest on them! totally NOT exaggerating on that, btw). When his parents took care of the loans for him, his dad told me, "i just don't understand how he could have done this. when he was in college he was really good with his money and we never had to worry about him spending the money we gave him for rent." I said (and i know this because A has told me this before) "that's because when you gave him $300 for rent at the beginning of the month, he would immediately go out and buy $300 worth of pot, bag it up and sell it for $750 and keep some for himself. then he had pot for the month, paid his rent and had $450 worth of spending money." his dad was like..."oh, well, yeah I knew he did that."
*sigh*
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 121
Thanks for this post, it has been so informative to me the mother of an AD.
some of the obvious methods of getting money I have thought of and put things together. However, I was always puzzled by my daughter's wallet showing up in strange places. She had a few of my business cards in it and people would call me. (Of course I would pick it up!)
This happened about three times in about 18 months -- I kept telling her how lucky she was! Well after readinging this post, I am further along on my knowledge of drug and codie behavior -- Thanks
some of the obvious methods of getting money I have thought of and put things together. However, I was always puzzled by my daughter's wallet showing up in strange places. She had a few of my business cards in it and people would call me. (Of course I would pick it up!)
This happened about three times in about 18 months -- I kept telling her how lucky she was! Well after readinging this post, I am further along on my knowledge of drug and codie behavior -- Thanks
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Lost in Ca
Posts: 253
K1a...I am sorry your father in law responded that way. How dare he. He should have bailed him out because he enabled him in the first place
Peace Train- I'm glad this post was benficial to you as much as it has been to me. It has given me some eye opening moments. It sure is good to know that you are not alone and that I wasn't the only one who didn't see it coming. I have sat around thinking to myself what an idiot I have been but, the only true idiots here are the A because of the choices they made that have affected us all. ANd my AH never even asked if I liked roller coasters...
Peace Train- I'm glad this post was benficial to you as much as it has been to me. It has given me some eye opening moments. It sure is good to know that you are not alone and that I wasn't the only one who didn't see it coming. I have sat around thinking to myself what an idiot I have been but, the only true idiots here are the A because of the choices they made that have affected us all. ANd my AH never even asked if I liked roller coasters...
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Home of the Ravens-MD
Posts: 1,316
thank u for this post. Yep, some of the ways of obtaining drugs w/o cash I knew my AD used, others were a bit new to me.
You sound like a wonderful, intelligent woman, who like the rest of us, got blind sided by this s#$% disease.
Hugs,
Chris
You sound like a wonderful, intelligent woman, who like the rest of us, got blind sided by this s#$% disease.
Hugs,
Chris
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Unhappy))) - what a great post about YOU!!!
I always loved school..started college in my Sr. year of high school. For some reason, I just accumulate associate's degrees...working on my 3rd one now I WISH someone would just put them all together and give me a bachelor's, at least!
The great thing about SR is I'm coming here as the addict..recovering, yes, but still an addict. I think it's truly amazing that I can learn from families/loved ones, and they can learn from me. Addiction is hard on us all, but with all the support we have here, it makes it a little more bearable.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
I always loved school..started college in my Sr. year of high school. For some reason, I just accumulate associate's degrees...working on my 3rd one now
I WISH someone would just put them all together and give me a bachelor's, at least!The great thing about SR is I'm coming here as the addict..recovering, yes, but still an addict. I think it's truly amazing that I can learn from families/loved ones, and they can learn from me. Addiction is hard on us all, but with all the support we have here, it makes it a little more bearable.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
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