UNHAPPY777

I am so upset that my sister in law called today and said some really mean things to me. She said that my husband just didn't want me. I was okay with that but, then she said why don't you just leave. First, he doesn't even talk to her so she's just assuming and by no means am I leaving the home with two small children. But, then I find out that she's about to be homeless and that is why she is talking the way she is about my marriage. Granted my husband has been horrible for the past year.... But, how dare she make up a lie for her own gain. It's bad enough that I'm dealing with my addicted husband but, now his crazy sister too. I've about had it.......

His whole family is in denial about his addiction because he is a super hard worker with 20 inch muscles that use to be health conscious. But, just wait the worse is yet to come. I see him almost on a daily basis and he's looking baddddddd..... When they see him, which it has been a while they are gonna beg my pardon. Oh well this is just my venting for today!

Ann

Just because his family is dysfunctional doesn't mean you have to let yourself get drawn in (and I know how easy that can happen).

When they try to discuss your personal life, cut them off at the pass maybe saying something like "that's far too personal for me to discuss right now" and then refuse to say another word about it. Or tell them you are just on your way out and cut the call short.

Others may say cruel things about us, or they may offer opinions that make our hair stand on end...but we don't have to listen, we don't have to stick around to debate with them. We can hang up politely or better yet, use call display and don't answer when they call.

Hugs

ItsmeAlice

Granted my husband has been horrible for the past year.... But, how dare she make up a lie for her own gain. It's bad enough that I'm dealing with my addicted husband but, now his crazy sister too.

Next time you get a call from her, read the above back to her and hang up.

Isn't it amazing how one nasty person can send someone into stark raving madness?! Gets me every time.

Feel free to open that pressure release valve any time.

UNHAPPY777

Thanks, ladies....... This sister in law has been giving me problems since our wedding day. we were really good friends until our marriage. She use to date my brother and she never though we'd be getting married and not her and my brother. I have been doing well with keeping negativity out of my life but, somehiw Ms. negativity herself opened the back door LOL. I will not and am not going to answer the phone anymore but, this morning she actually called RESTRICTED how clever of her Huh!!!! What a burden she is and I wonder why my husband is addicted!!!!!!

Latte

You can hang up on people like that. I know it isn't easy but you can.

livingalie

My xh is the reason I now do not answer the phone unless I know the number - restricted or not.

Sounds paranoid, yes I know, but they can talk to my other personality all day long and I don't have to deal with it right then.

Chino

I have a feature on my phone service that prevents restricted calls coming through. They hear a message they'll have to unblock their number.

Done_With_It

[QUOTE=UNHAPPY777;2135504]I am so upset that my sister in law called today and said some really mean things to me. She said that my husband just didn't want me. I was okay with that but,


Just curious why would you be okay with that?
You said she has been giving you problems since....
But you also seem to be okay with some of the problems she is giving you.

People can only give us problems if we let them.

then she said why don't you just leave. First, he doesn't even talk to her so she's just assuming and by no means am I leaving the home with two small children.



But, then I find out that she's about to be homeless and that is why she is talking the way she is about my marriage. Granted my husband has been horrible for the past year.... But, how dare she make up a lie for her own gain. It's bad enough that I'm dealing with my addicted husband but, now his crazy sister too. I've about had it.......

Exactly what people do and say is about them, their issues, it's not about you. They may try and make it about you, but if you know that, and remember it, you stop needing to take what they say personal.
Getting angry over her words is giving her your personal power, you have to stop and ask yourself is it worth it?
You have the choice to take on what she says, or to live your own truths.

His whole family is in denial about his addiction because he is a super hard worker with 20 inch muscles that use to be health conscious. But, just wait the worse is yet to come. I see him almost on a daily basis and he's looking baddddddd..... When they see him, which it has been a while they are gonna beg my pardon. Oh well this is just my venting for today!





Here's to a better day tomorrow and lot's of hugs from all of us! :ghug2

SistersHelp

NH7, I'm sorry to hear that your sister-in-law is adding to the stress in your life right now. I know it must be so hard, but try not to let her rattle you. Come here and yell at us instead.

*hugs*

UNHAPPY777

Thank for all the comments! Today is a better day. I received two restricted calls this morning and choose not to answer them.

DONE WITH IT
Just curious why would you be okay with that?

Im not really okay with it in reality it only means that her opinion doesn't matter to me. She has real pschychological issues. Because if she was honest with herself then she would ask herself why would I want him as I have asked myself may times. She has to realize all of my concerns for him have to only be out of LOVE because I sure am not getting the respect I deserve right now! Addiction is a horrible thing and when you mix it with denial it can be FATAL!!!! I'm sure glad that I am not in denial anymore.


My husband had been doing well with coming home and helping with the physical and mental responsibilities of our children (He always helps financially). But, last night he choose to come in at 3 am and had to leave by 4:30 to be at work by 5. I had his bags packed for him but, he said I'm not going anywhere I just fell asleep in my car. THATS ALL. Like I believed him. He can now find his things in the garage. I'm telling you my life is a roller coaster ride. If it ain't one thing it's another. But it is still a better day. I am slowly gaining ME back. To all of you that are new here it has been a long process for me. I just hope you can find the strength sooner.

Freedom1990

Are you blaming her for your AH's addiction?

UNHAPPY777

By no means am I blaming her believe me it was his choice and only his choice. His mother was an addict and his siblings all have addictive type personalities. Now this sister I am speaking of has a way of judging her sibling and making them feel baddd. HIs mother lives with her and when he went to his mom to talk about his problems and to asks questions about her addiction to drugs. The sister interferred (controlling behavior)and helped influenced mom not to share her struggles. This was before my husband started to use. I just feel that because they are so closed minded to each other and sharing their struggles that my husband shut down and HE choose the wrong direction instead of initially seeking help outside of his family.

UNHAPPY777

Im actually taking responsibility for me. I guess I'm just tired. At one point they even tried to blame me for his HABITS as they call them. I;m just tired.....

Done_With_It

I do get that, I think what some of here are trying to say is that we can let other people make us tired if we are not careful.

Your not doing anything wrong, maybe we just see yourself in our past actions, (and/or current) if that makes any sense??


Keep talking though, we're not trying to discourage you.

:ghug