Im new here..my life is controlled by crack
I'm my own best friend
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Reading, PA
Posts: 56
Originally Posted by cynical one 
macgirl,
i didn't have time to read thru everyone else's suggestions, experiences, and informed insight. So, i may repeat what they have already said.
First and foremost, please call the spca and get the puppy out of that crack house. If you don't do anything else, please do at least this much.
Next, if you insist on staying with a crack addict, you might as well go ahead and sell your house, your car, and quit your job and put the money in a 5 year cd that you can't touch until you either get out of prison or your relatives divide your estate after they bury you.
You really have no clue as to the subculture of crack, you will not be the exception, you will be the rule. Just another one taken down, and you will lose yourself in the process. You are trying to play a game that you have no idea as to what the rules are...because there are none. Crackworld is an anything goes game and you will be on the losing end. Drug runs will get you dead sooner or later. Same with turning in the dealers. You think those detectives will protect you...think again. You think the dealers won't turn you out or rape you or put a gun to your head...think again. You think the dirtbag is going to protect you...think again. And, you are really kidding yourself if you think for a minute that he's being the faithful guy...for guys crack is a sexual drug...the high like a whole body orgasm. The freakier sex the better, and unless you don't mind being degraded...no, he won't be able to function with you.
Do yourself a big favor, get checked for all std's, hep, and hiv, and then don't have unprotected sex with crack addicts.
I know you think you're different, he's different, the situation is different. And, that you are strong enough and smart enough to save him. You're going to do what you think you have to do and you both will ride off into the sunset. Of all drugs, crack has the lowest long-term recovery rate. How many years are you willing to waste trying to beat the odds?
Sorry if this sounds harsh. And, my apologies to any crack addicts in recovery. But, this is my truth.
i didn't have time to read thru everyone else's suggestions, experiences, and informed insight. So, i may repeat what they have already said.
First and foremost, please call the spca and get the puppy out of that crack house. If you don't do anything else, please do at least this much.
Next, if you insist on staying with a crack addict, you might as well go ahead and sell your house, your car, and quit your job and put the money in a 5 year cd that you can't touch until you either get out of prison or your relatives divide your estate after they bury you.
You really have no clue as to the subculture of crack, you will not be the exception, you will be the rule. Just another one taken down, and you will lose yourself in the process. You are trying to play a game that you have no idea as to what the rules are...because there are none. Crackworld is an anything goes game and you will be on the losing end. Drug runs will get you dead sooner or later. Same with turning in the dealers. You think those detectives will protect you...think again. You think the dealers won't turn you out or rape you or put a gun to your head...think again. You think the dirtbag is going to protect you...think again. And, you are really kidding yourself if you think for a minute that he's being the faithful guy...for guys crack is a sexual drug...the high like a whole body orgasm. The freakier sex the better, and unless you don't mind being degraded...no, he won't be able to function with you.
Do yourself a big favor, get checked for all std's, hep, and hiv, and then don't have unprotected sex with crack addicts.
I know you think you're different, he's different, the situation is different. And, that you are strong enough and smart enough to save him. You're going to do what you think you have to do and you both will ride off into the sunset. Of all drugs, crack has the lowest long-term recovery rate. How many years are you willing to waste trying to beat the odds?
Sorry if this sounds harsh. And, my apologies to any crack addicts in recovery. But, this is my truth.
amen!!!!!!!!!!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 325
Canyouhearme1
Macgirl- I agree with canyouhearme, the rest of the posters. They know.. been there, done that. Some who have posted ARE recovering crack addicts. I recall once, someone telling me. "This is a world you do not know, you can not understand, run back to your suburbs and do not look back."
Now I like.. not knowing!!
Day 5 off opiates is not the same as crack!
5 days off crack is just a resting period. If you don't eat and sleep you die.
5 days off crack is just a resting period. If you don't eat and sleep you die.
Now I like.. not knowing!!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 90
Macgirl,
I was amazed when i read your story as it was so similar to mine with my ex. I have never heard anyone tell it exactly like you did. The way my ex would turn on me on a dime. While on crack he would say and do the meanest things and i would be so shocked as the same man sober was so sweet and caring. I couldn't get over the awful words he said to me and the way he broke up with me every other week. I kept hoping it would get better because the sober guy was so good and what we had in the begining so great that i kept holding out hoping and praying that each time he said it would be different and he was done it would be true. It NEVER was....after a few days or maybe a week tops it would all start again, the disappearing for days, the not answering calls, the horrible temper and mean words etc. the fights would start and we would break up again. this became the cycle for well over a year of my life. It was awful.
How did it end? Well, he never showed up for my birthday and a few days later he called and we argued and then after a week I forgave him once again, took him back, heard all the same stories of how it would be different this time....blah, blah, blah...
Well it was....This time he came here after a 3 day crack binge. He was tired, irratable, and angry as he totaled his car the night before. When he came i had his duffel bag waiting at the door and said it is OVER I am done please take your bag and just leave. We did not live together he just stayed over here and there....Anyway, He refused to leave my condo. At that point i put his duffel bag outside and told him to get out. He got raging mad and picked up a large object in my living room smashed it into a mirror on my wall it went thru the wall causing a huge whole in the wall,,glass all over the place...I was scared death at that point...he then chased me into the bedroom I nearly thought he was going to kill me that day. He grabbed me and threw me so hard I landed smack up against my dressor, I had cuts and bruises and a busted up condo...all this from the man who was in the begining the nicest, most romantic/sensitive man i ever met. That is till crack took hold. All I can say to you is please listen to what these kind people tell you on this board. I wish I had and spared myself an incredible amount of emotional, and physical pain.
It is over now and I will never go back but I wish i would have walked away awile ago and spared myself the turmoil and pain.
This will not get better till he gets serious help and nothing short of a miracle. Crack is one of the toughest drugs to beat. It can be done but it takes a lot of committment and WANTING the sober life more than the drug life. Be careful and Please don't put yourself in harms way. I fear he is just resting up for the next run.
I was amazed when i read your story as it was so similar to mine with my ex. I have never heard anyone tell it exactly like you did. The way my ex would turn on me on a dime. While on crack he would say and do the meanest things and i would be so shocked as the same man sober was so sweet and caring. I couldn't get over the awful words he said to me and the way he broke up with me every other week. I kept hoping it would get better because the sober guy was so good and what we had in the begining so great that i kept holding out hoping and praying that each time he said it would be different and he was done it would be true. It NEVER was....after a few days or maybe a week tops it would all start again, the disappearing for days, the not answering calls, the horrible temper and mean words etc. the fights would start and we would break up again. this became the cycle for well over a year of my life. It was awful.
How did it end? Well, he never showed up for my birthday and a few days later he called and we argued and then after a week I forgave him once again, took him back, heard all the same stories of how it would be different this time....blah, blah, blah...
Well it was....This time he came here after a 3 day crack binge. He was tired, irratable, and angry as he totaled his car the night before. When he came i had his duffel bag waiting at the door and said it is OVER I am done please take your bag and just leave. We did not live together he just stayed over here and there....Anyway, He refused to leave my condo. At that point i put his duffel bag outside and told him to get out. He got raging mad and picked up a large object in my living room smashed it into a mirror on my wall it went thru the wall causing a huge whole in the wall,,glass all over the place...I was scared death at that point...he then chased me into the bedroom I nearly thought he was going to kill me that day. He grabbed me and threw me so hard I landed smack up against my dressor, I had cuts and bruises and a busted up condo...all this from the man who was in the begining the nicest, most romantic/sensitive man i ever met. That is till crack took hold. All I can say to you is please listen to what these kind people tell you on this board. I wish I had and spared myself an incredible amount of emotional, and physical pain.
It is over now and I will never go back but I wish i would have walked away awile ago and spared myself the turmoil and pain.
This will not get better till he gets serious help and nothing short of a miracle. Crack is one of the toughest drugs to beat. It can be done but it takes a lot of committment and WANTING the sober life more than the drug life. Be careful and Please don't put yourself in harms way. I fear he is just resting up for the next run.
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