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Well..i figured id update: today is day 5..sober...i knew if i pushed through the hell i was living that he would be done soon.. what i didnt mention in my first post ..out of embarassment..I was once in his shoes..different DOC ..opiates. I put my husband through the same kind of hell that i just went through & WOW..looking back ..boy am i glad i had a hubby like that supporting me. We are no longer together..it was all me..I met my current BF and left my wonderful hubby for him..wondeful..perfect..no nasty habits..but i realized we werent a good fit anymore. So anyways..i am 5+ years clean..and have NEVER been tempted to pick up that habit again..and i am surrounded by it. So..the reasons I had for not wanting to give up on my BF..i knew i was there once & was much worse than he has been..my roll lasted years..nonstop. I know the likelyhood of him relapsing is HIGH..but im willing to give it a try, in hopes that like me, 5 days ago when he woke up broke & about to lose it all..when he said hes DONE..he means it. Everyone tells me the same exact thing RUN!!!.. but from my personal experience..i know that if you want something bad enough..failure is not an option & that was my mindset & still is. Hopefully my updates on here will be good ones..i am not giving up on the hopes of him staying sober.i am hoping that my experience with addiction will be of some help & inspiration to him. I never told him of my problem until the past couple of weeks, yes..i lie & dont tell people out of embarassment. people close to me know & i do feel like im under a microscope..and thats why i choose not to tell people..i hate being judged. |
5 days ago when he woke up broke & about to lose it all..when he said hes DONE..he means it. I use to have a drug and alcohol problem too. Now, I still do with my H and siblings. I thought the same thing that I could "help" him cause I knew. Yea right...you sound just as codie as the rest of us. |
Macgirl~ Day 5!! Come on!! I was once in his shoes..different DOC ..opiates. 5 days off crack is just a resting period. If you don't eat and sleep you die. Please do your self a favor and run. |
Originally Posted by macgirl
(Post 2136284)
today is day 5..sober...i knew if i pushed through the hell i was living that he would be done soon.. |
Congrats on being 5 years clean. |
Congrat's on 5 yrs clean. IMO he needs to work his own recovery. |
Originally Posted by cynical one
(Post 2132780)
macgirl, i didn't have time to read thru everyone else's suggestions, experiences, and informed insight. So, i may repeat what they have already said. First and foremost, please call the spca and get the puppy out of that crack house. If you don't do anything else, please do at least this much. Next, if you insist on staying with a crack addict, you might as well go ahead and sell your house, your car, and quit your job and put the money in a 5 year cd that you can't touch until you either get out of prison or your relatives divide your estate after they bury you. You really have no clue as to the subculture of crack, you will not be the exception, you will be the rule. Just another one taken down, and you will lose yourself in the process. You are trying to play a game that you have no idea as to what the rules are...because there are none. Crackworld is an anything goes game and you will be on the losing end. Drug runs will get you dead sooner or later. Same with turning in the dealers. You think those detectives will protect you...think again. You think the dealers won't turn you out or rape you or put a gun to your head...think again. You think the dirtbag is going to protect you...think again. And, you are really kidding yourself if you think for a minute that he's being the faithful guy...for guys crack is a sexual drug...the high like a whole body orgasm. The freakier sex the better, and unless you don't mind being degraded...no, he won't be able to function with you. Do yourself a big favor, get checked for all std's, hep, and hiv, and then don't have unprotected sex with crack addicts. I know you think you're different, he's different, the situation is different. And, that you are strong enough and smart enough to save him. You're going to do what you think you have to do and you both will ride off into the sunset. Of all drugs, crack has the lowest long-term recovery rate. How many years are you willing to waste trying to beat the odds? Sorry if this sounds harsh. And, my apologies to any crack addicts in recovery. But, this is my truth. amen!!!!!!!!!! |
Canyouhearme1 Day 5 off opiates is not the same as crack! 5 days off crack is just a resting period. If you don't eat and sleep you die. Now I like.. not knowing!! |
Macgirl, I was amazed when i read your story as it was so similar to mine with my ex. I have never heard anyone tell it exactly like you did. The way my ex would turn on me on a dime. While on crack he would say and do the meanest things and i would be so shocked as the same man sober was so sweet and caring. I couldn't get over the awful words he said to me and the way he broke up with me every other week. I kept hoping it would get better because the sober guy was so good and what we had in the begining so great that i kept holding out hoping and praying that each time he said it would be different and he was done it would be true. It NEVER was....after a few days or maybe a week tops it would all start again, the disappearing for days, the not answering calls, the horrible temper and mean words etc. the fights would start and we would break up again. this became the cycle for well over a year of my life. It was awful. How did it end? Well, he never showed up for my birthday and a few days later he called and we argued and then after a week I forgave him once again, took him back, heard all the same stories of how it would be different this time....blah, blah, blah... Well it was....This time he came here after a 3 day crack binge. He was tired, irratable, and angry as he totaled his car the night before. When he came i had his duffel bag waiting at the door and said it is OVER I am done please take your bag and just leave. We did not live together he just stayed over here and there....Anyway, He refused to leave my condo. At that point i put his duffel bag outside and told him to get out. He got raging mad and picked up a large object in my living room smashed it into a mirror on my wall it went thru the wall causing a huge whole in the wall,,glass all over the place...I was scared death at that point...he then chased me into the bedroom I nearly thought he was going to kill me that day. He grabbed me and threw me so hard I landed smack up against my dressor, I had cuts and bruises and a busted up condo...all this from the man who was in the begining the nicest, most romantic/sensitive man i ever met. That is till crack took hold. All I can say to you is please listen to what these kind people tell you on this board. I wish I had and spared myself an incredible amount of emotional, and physical pain. It is over now and I will never go back but I wish i would have walked away awile ago and spared myself the turmoil and pain. This will not get better till he gets serious help and nothing short of a miracle. Crack is one of the toughest drugs to beat. It can be done but it takes a lot of committment and WANTING the sober life more than the drug life. Be careful and Please don't put yourself in harms way. I fear he is just resting up for the next run. |
I just wanted to mention, this thread is a year old. Hugs and prayers! Amy |
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I didn't notice the date.... My goof. Thanks Amy! |
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