Starting to listen to my Mothers intuition...
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Join Date: Feb 2009
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Starting to listen to my Mothers intuition...
My 16 yr old daughter who is still with us tried to pull one on her dad and I tonight. I am so tired of all of the lies and betrayal. I have been trying to build up the trust with her slow but sure and the following is what she does to us.....
We let her go with friends today and she was supposed to go to an early movie. She called to see if she could stay overnight at her friends from school. I said that I wanted to talk to her parents first and she said that they had just left to go and pick up a movie so I said call me when they get back as she said that they would be right back.
She calls and says that the father will talk to me but if he sounds funny it is because he has a sore throat....(ummmm ding ding ding, warning bells go off right away). I told her to then let me speak with the mother and she said she is at a friends which I reply that she told me that the parents both went to get a movie and that they would both be right back. She said well she is at her friends......so I said ok put on the father. (Can I scream yet?????) Anyhow this kids voice comes on and I said to my husband, here you talk to him, it is not a father, it is a kid! So my husband talks to him for a minute and I said in the background, get the phone number and we will call him right back ( they were using my daughters cell phone) my husband asks for the phone number but the guy/kid says he will call back with it as they had a bad conection. I told my husband that the connection wasn't that bad that he couldn't give the phone number....UGh
I call back my daughter on her cell phone which the connection is perfectly fine by the way, and told her to come home now, she says why can't I stay at Sarah's? I told her that there was no way that the person on the phone earlier was her father and I was tired of the lies and betrayal. She tried to deny everything and finally said "Ok mom, that was her brother."
I then told her that from now on when something doesn't seem right or feel right to me that is because it isn't right and not to try to pull one over on me anymore because from this day on I will be using my mothers intuition.
She will be home on the next bus and if not then her father and I will go and get her.
I have two daughters who were using drugs, two daughters with whom lied and betrayed their fathers and my trust. It stops right here right now. They can kick,scream and cry all they want, this bull has been going on for way too long.
If our youngest daughter wants to see her friends for the next while they can come here where I can watch them.
When does the anger and numbness go away?
We let her go with friends today and she was supposed to go to an early movie. She called to see if she could stay overnight at her friends from school. I said that I wanted to talk to her parents first and she said that they had just left to go and pick up a movie so I said call me when they get back as she said that they would be right back.
She calls and says that the father will talk to me but if he sounds funny it is because he has a sore throat....(ummmm ding ding ding, warning bells go off right away). I told her to then let me speak with the mother and she said she is at a friends which I reply that she told me that the parents both went to get a movie and that they would both be right back. She said well she is at her friends......so I said ok put on the father. (Can I scream yet?????) Anyhow this kids voice comes on and I said to my husband, here you talk to him, it is not a father, it is a kid! So my husband talks to him for a minute and I said in the background, get the phone number and we will call him right back ( they were using my daughters cell phone) my husband asks for the phone number but the guy/kid says he will call back with it as they had a bad conection. I told my husband that the connection wasn't that bad that he couldn't give the phone number....UGh
I call back my daughter on her cell phone which the connection is perfectly fine by the way, and told her to come home now, she says why can't I stay at Sarah's? I told her that there was no way that the person on the phone earlier was her father and I was tired of the lies and betrayal. She tried to deny everything and finally said "Ok mom, that was her brother."
I then told her that from now on when something doesn't seem right or feel right to me that is because it isn't right and not to try to pull one over on me anymore because from this day on I will be using my mothers intuition.
She will be home on the next bus and if not then her father and I will go and get her.
I have two daughters who were using drugs, two daughters with whom lied and betrayed their fathers and my trust. It stops right here right now. They can kick,scream and cry all they want, this bull has been going on for way too long.
If our youngest daughter wants to see her friends for the next while they can come here where I can watch them.
When does the anger and numbness go away?
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I'm sorry (((LMK)))
I was just thinking the same today after having words with each of my three kids.
at the very least they unknowingly led me to a "no more bull" place, and I was able to be firm in my replies.
Hope tomorrow brings a better day
(((Hugs)))
I was just thinking the same today after having words with each of my three kids.
at the very least they unknowingly led me to a "no more bull" place, and I was able to be firm in my replies.
Hope tomorrow brings a better day
(((Hugs)))
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Well I just knew she would call and say that she missed her bus grrrrrrrr, I couldn't even talk to her, I let her dad pick up the phone, he said that she was crying cause she missed the bus......I say Bull to that too!
He told her to take a different bus and he would drive half way to the city to get her, well he left and lo and behold the phone rings again........she couldn't make that one either or it was later then she thought with getting there, so I told her to call her dad on his cell phone cause he just left to go and meet her. She asks if I am serious and I tell her that I am dead serious....he hasn't come back so I imagine that he is going all of the way into the city to get her.
When she gets through this door I am going to be checking her breath and her pupils to see if they are dialated.....they can go big or small right? it is night time so what do I look for?
Cece, thanks so much
He told her to take a different bus and he would drive half way to the city to get her, well he left and lo and behold the phone rings again........she couldn't make that one either or it was later then she thought with getting there, so I told her to call her dad on his cell phone cause he just left to go and meet her. She asks if I am serious and I tell her that I am dead serious....he hasn't come back so I imagine that he is going all of the way into the city to get her.
When she gets through this door I am going to be checking her breath and her pupils to see if they are dialated.....they can go big or small right? it is night time so what do I look for?
Cece, thanks so much
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Join Date: Jan 2009
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Wow, I only have a teenage son (addicted) to deal with I can't imagine dealing with two girls. My daughter who is not living at home any longer, never did drugs but my was she a defiant little witch she pulled all kinds of crap. You and your husband sure have your work cut out for you, stay with it they do move out eventually. LOL
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Originally Posted by MyJoey 
You and your husband sure have your work cut out for you, stay with it they do move out eventually. LOL
That is twice I have laughed in a couple of weeks, thanks.
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At my daughter's first stint at rehab, they had a family week - great program and at the end of each day, the kids came in with the parents for a short session. One day the question to the kids was "what scares you about leaving rehab and going home?" My daughter's response was that things have changed cause her mom learned too much during the program and she won't buy the bs stories any more.
Sounds like things are changing for your daughters too...That's a first step to restoring us to sanity!
Sounds like things are changing for your daughters too...That's a first step to restoring us to sanity!
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Location: Western WA
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I did a little research for ya, LMK. Here's what I found out. In a nutshell: big pupils could indicate that a person is under the influence of cocaine, crack, meth, hallucinogens, crystal, ecstasy, or other stimulant. Small pupils could indicate a person under the influence of heroin, opiates, or other depressant.
I read a posting from BV over in the SA forum a few months ago that shared a great "trick" for pupils. If you both go into the bathroom with the lights on and look in the mirror, her pupils should be the same size as yours. This is, of course, assuming you're not under the influence of anything!!
If hers are obviously bigger or smaller, she's been up to no good!!
Hope that helps - - and good for you for trusting your gut. I learned it was always right......but I also learned it could never tell me how bad the lie was. I could tell I was being lied to or something was being kept from me, but I couldn't tell if it was a big something or a little something. Granted, all lies are lies, esecially from your teenager. I just know my codie brain started going VERY crazy at any LITTLE inkling of a lie - and sometimes it was nowhere near as bad in real life as my mind imagined it to be. I hope that is the case with your daughter, but I am definitely glad you're not letting her get away with any BS!!!
Let us know how the saga plays out, will ya?
I read a posting from BV over in the SA forum a few months ago that shared a great "trick" for pupils. If you both go into the bathroom with the lights on and look in the mirror, her pupils should be the same size as yours. This is, of course, assuming you're not under the influence of anything!!
If hers are obviously bigger or smaller, she's been up to no good!!Hope that helps - - and good for you for trusting your gut. I learned it was always right......but I also learned it could never tell me how bad the lie was. I could tell I was being lied to or something was being kept from me, but I couldn't tell if it was a big something or a little something. Granted, all lies are lies, esecially from your teenager. I just know my codie brain started going VERY crazy at any LITTLE inkling of a lie - and sometimes it was nowhere near as bad in real life as my mind imagined it to be. I hope that is the case with your daughter, but I am definitely glad you're not letting her get away with any BS!!!
Let us know how the saga plays out, will ya?
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LOL Tailspin...
That is a great idea checking out our pupils in the bathroom to compare, never thought of that, thanks.
When she got home she didn't smell of any alcohol but her eyes were watery, probably from crying in the car with her dad. She doesn't seem to cry around me.
She asked me if I was going to "Lock" her up in the house and I told her that she wasn't going anywhere for a bit. She told me that she was supposed to go to the mall with her friends today, I told her that she won't be going. She said so you are locking me up. She said that she has to get her cell phone and I said for her not to worry about it that I am cancelling the number temporarily and that her friend can give it to her at school next week after March Break.
She is not a happy camper right about now which makes me A very Happy Camper, I want her to realize that there are consequences for her actions and that she is not going to be rewarded for her poor behavior.
I think that the social workers had shell shocked me long ago with my first daughter that I have made too many mistakes since, all I can say to my girls is this; "Guess what girls, Your Mama is Back!"
That is a great idea checking out our pupils in the bathroom to compare, never thought of that, thanks.
When she got home she didn't smell of any alcohol but her eyes were watery, probably from crying in the car with her dad. She doesn't seem to cry around me.
She asked me if I was going to "Lock" her up in the house and I told her that she wasn't going anywhere for a bit. She told me that she was supposed to go to the mall with her friends today, I told her that she won't be going. She said so you are locking me up. She said that she has to get her cell phone and I said for her not to worry about it that I am cancelling the number temporarily and that her friend can give it to her at school next week after March Break.
She is not a happy camper right about now which makes me A very Happy Camper, I want her to realize that there are consequences for her actions and that she is not going to be rewarded for her poor behavior.
I think that the social workers had shell shocked me long ago with my first daughter that I have made too many mistakes since, all I can say to my girls is this; "Guess what girls, Your Mama is Back!"
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Apparently my youngest daughter is very angry with me right now as she is hardly talking to me and when she does it is to only to answer a question or she just looks at me and walks away....I can live with that.
On the other hand she is being very nice to her dad, he is the strict one where I am the soft one (usually), I am so thankful that he and I have each other to get through this.
On the other hand she is being very nice to her dad, he is the strict one where I am the soft one (usually), I am so thankful that he and I have each other to get through this.
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Originally Posted by winnie12
I read somewhere that if your teenager hates you then you're doing a good job!!!!
you and i are obviously both doing excellant work
you and i are obviously both doing excellant work
Today we went looking for a window for my living room and a couple of french doors, she was not a happy camper having to come with us lol. I was not leaving her home however with the computer and phones although I could have taken the motom or whatever it is called away from the computer and unplugged the phones lol. Good idea for next time :rotfxko
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