k1a2t3h4r5y6n7

I felt so guilty about this, but sometimes, in the worst part of my fiancee's active addiction, I felt this way too. They said at recovery that it was normal to feel this way, but we were together and I loved him (still do) and in my heart I didn't want him to die.
But there were times when he would call and need me to come home and be emotional and I would sort of wish that when I got there I would find him dead so I just wouldn't have to worry about it anymore. And I kept thinking that one day I was going to leave, so if he died, it wouldn't be my fault, I wouldn't have abandoned him, it would be his fault we weren't together anymore.

That sounds so absolutely crazy to me. And I feel horrible for it.

kj3880

I think that times are harder. I am old enough to have lived through both recessions and I don't remember the credit crunch, mortgage crisis, or as many lower-wage jobs being shipped overseas in the 70's as there are now. I think it is much worse for the typical blue-collar person now than it was then. If you call the help line at Sear's now it is answered in Pakistan!!!! And they probably pay the Pakistani a penny an hour or something, where they would have to pay min. wage here. So lots of people, including my kids, are having a tough time finding entry-level jobs. And there has never been a time in US history where so many have lost their homes. It's terrible.

KJ

k1a2t3h4r5y6n7

There has never been a time in US history where so many have owned their own homes to start with. In the 1950's and 1960's, only about 1/3 of the population owned a home and the average size was 2 bedroom, 1 bath, 1000 sq. feet.

I know that's completely unrelated, I just wanted to add my 2 cents.