What's the point?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 321
What's the point?
Do you ever feel like what's the point of trying to do anything with/for your A as long as they are still using?
For instance, I could sign me and my husband up for marriage counseling but what's the point? He's still an addict.
I could plan for us to go to Kalahari Resort in July. But what's the point? He'd probably just get high and drunk?
There's a marriage retreat that I thought would really help us regain our intimacy but what's the point? He's still an addict.
I want to go home and cook a nice meal for him but what's the point? He'll probably not eat because when he's high on coke he doesn't eat.
I feel like I'm not married to a human. Like I can't even try to make anything work because he's not a human to me. He's just a disease. And every mistake he makes it's because "he's probably high or drunk" every thing he does right is "probably because he wants to make it up to me because he's always high and drunk". I don't even want to pursue working anything out with him. It won't work anyway because he's a freakin' addict!
For instance, I could sign me and my husband up for marriage counseling but what's the point? He's still an addict.
I could plan for us to go to Kalahari Resort in July. But what's the point? He'd probably just get high and drunk?
There's a marriage retreat that I thought would really help us regain our intimacy but what's the point? He's still an addict.
I want to go home and cook a nice meal for him but what's the point? He'll probably not eat because when he's high on coke he doesn't eat.
I feel like I'm not married to a human. Like I can't even try to make anything work because he's not a human to me. He's just a disease. And every mistake he makes it's because "he's probably high or drunk" every thing he does right is "probably because he wants to make it up to me because he's always high and drunk". I don't even want to pursue working anything out with him. It won't work anyway because he's a freakin' addict!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: lancaster, PA
Posts: 852
I'm so exhausted, becuase of my issues -- as I'm sure you read today.....
but I did want to say 'I feel your pain sister...."
OHHHHHHH do I ever.
I feel like that all the time- which was ultimately the catalyst for my last thread.....
I've been in 'why bother' mode for a while now--- and she blows!!
hugs, and more hugs is all I can offer, with LOTS of empathy.
Love,
Cess
but I did want to say 'I feel your pain sister...."
OHHHHHHH do I ever.
I feel like that all the time- which was ultimately the catalyst for my last thread.....
I've been in 'why bother' mode for a while now--- and she blows!!
hugs, and more hugs is all I can offer, with LOTS of empathy.
Love,
Cess
Psalm 118:24
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: ILLINOIS
Posts: 15,203
Originally Posted by Callie 
Counseling or ANYTHING to repair a marriage is pointless when dealing with someone in active addiction. I did years of that myself and in the end you can't get through to someone whose active.
point well taken
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Marietta, GA
Posts: 1,453
Sometimes it is rather futile trying to work your life around an addict so it might be best to just focus on your own life - even if you arent split up.
So instead of couples counseling you go to some meetings yourself and get the help you need to get through this.
Go ahead and plan that trip to the Kalahari Resort in July but go with a girlfriend or a family member.
Your life doesnt have to stop just because his is.
So instead of couples counseling you go to some meetings yourself and get the help you need to get through this.
Go ahead and plan that trip to the Kalahari Resort in July but go with a girlfriend or a family member.
Your life doesnt have to stop just because his is.
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