Chino

My 21 year old daughter was one needle away from dying before she went to rehab, while she was in rehab, and the day she got out. Today she is one needle away. It is that way for the rest of her life.

Dealing with insurance is one thing, and rehab calling is another. If he's not coming back home when he leaves, why are they calling there?

Callie

Because my son had a $20k surgery in December. If insurance is NOT reinstated, I will have to pay the $20k for a surgery that is already done. This insurance is not only for AH, it's for my kids as well. DS cannot get coverage because he has a preexisting condition. I HAVE tried to get outside insurance for DS, but have been denied. So that is a fight that I WILL NOT back down from.

Dam$ guys! Put the hammer down why don't you! Thank you for your words. I do appreciate it. Things turned out better with the accountant than I thought for everyone involved. I'm going to read and reread this thread. Thank you again for your help. See, I know you're all doing the 1000 eye rolls, what is she a dimwit?? out there in cyberspace. You can't deny it but thanks for your help anyway.

Freedom1990

I have often been the only woman in our AA group for years at a time; it's been that way the entire 22 years I've lived here.

My sponsor is a man with 27 years of continuous sobriety and clean time.

Callie

'cause they're adding to my codiness by threatening to kick him out if I can't get insurance straightened out. Also because they want to know from his wife's perspective what I think and also get another perspective of just how bad things have been as well as some kind of history. They do call FIL, but FIL lives out of state and really had no clue what's been going on. They don't call MIL because they've figured out just how severe of a codie she is and they're trying to exclude him in his recovery. (their words, not mine)

kj3880

I love you, no matter how it turns out.
Hope this helps a little bit.
And I'm sorry you're hurting.
love,
KJ

Callie

Thanks KJ - I so appreciate your help.

I 100% agree that no program will work if he doesn't make the changes. But you know from AH's past that he's not a "12 stepper" or doesn't "get into meetings". HIS WORDS, not mine so yell at him I guess part of why I've fought rehab against releasing him is that Anvil he's stayed 28 days so far. That's 20 days longer than he's ever stayed anywere. That's 2x longer than he's been clean in the last THREE years. PLUS if they release him they won't bill insurance and will sock this bill to him, which in turn would be 1/2 mine in a D.

Hey girl, we need an updated pic of Della's face.

winnie12

i think after you have explained to them what you have seen of his addiction that your job is done. Whether or not you allow them to string you alone is still a choice you have. You are under no legal or moral responsibility to talk to them about anything. See it sounds to me like he wants you involved and he is telling them he is working on his marriage so they are keeping you fully in the circle of addiction and recovery. It is fully in your rights to tell them that this is not your problem anymore and you dont want to be involved in the daily details. You got the problem with insurance fixed so there is no more need for you to be involved. You have the right to say No.

hello-kitty

mmm.... zip....

Callie. I can tell you are a smart girl. I'm sure you will find the answer to your problem so don't give up. Take care of youself and don't forget the 3 Cs. One day atta time...

Nice pic Anvil! What a goodlookin' girl you got there.

Callie

Aww, love that pic of her! Thanks!

Callie

Just wanted to say that today I went to visit my cousin. She is a kids pastor and wanted me to meet with her church's pastor. I wasn't sure what to expect or what I'd get out of it/wanted out of it. I'm glad I went. We talked alot about God's/HP will and Free Will. I was in tears over the whole thing. AH and I have been together 1/2 our life. I KNOW that I need to and will proceed with D. I wish I hated him and that it would be simple to detach (on some levels I wish that). But that's not me. We talked alot about the kids and the pastor praised me highly with how I've handled them. (thank you, thank you!) Also praised AH for trusting me to have the reigns fully. I could get into more of the religion part of it, but won't - dont' want to offend anyone I guess.

MIL has been driving me bonkers. I've avoided her calls for weeks, but she wants to see the kids. IRL she hasn't seen the kids in a month and a half. (very long time for her) We talked at length about how she would answer their ??'s. She's basically going to defer them to me. Which is fine. She's going to keep the kids for a while on Sat. If you recall, she's dumber than a box of rocks, even worse of a codie than I (is that even possible??). But I know she loves the kids and I. In the end I don't want to let the R of her and AH interfere with the kids and I. I care about her and know she does me. I've just felt like "I'll take down anyone in the way of AH's recovery". She's number 1 on the list - hence our problems.

Talked with AH today too. He's sounding better and better everytime I talk with him. He's now at 30+ days and has newbies referred to him from nurses and counselors. (WTF??) I was joking with him about *HIM* being referred too. So ironic in my eyes. So weird and so sad that he's allowed his bottom (if it is his bottom) to be low enough to throw everything that he valued so much away. I hope and pray that he can continue on the same path.

Thanks for reading guys. I know you are ready to wring my neck for being such a severe codie, but I'll luv ya while you're strangling me! J/K