onthebrink828

Can someone just force me to leave my husband? I'm so tired of the lies and I can't stand it anymore but why can't I leave?? I don't know what to do - I know what I should do but I can't find the strength to leave. I don't even know how to handle this right now after just finding out he used again....I'm angry at him for slowly throwing our marriage away, angry at myself for not doing anything about it, I'm sad, I feel weak, co-dependant, you name it, I feel it. How do I take the fist steps? Kick him out? Pack all his things and have it ready for him? I'm so mad at myself that I even THOUGHT about having a baby with him knowing this will never end...please help...

bognot1977

Girl, consult an attorney. Easier said than done. BUT, I've recently taken steps to divorce my husband. I was SCARED, CO-DEPENDANT, PATHETIC, HURT, ETC. The mere thought of leaving the marriage gave me panic attacks. The thought of the relapse did the same. Finding out about his girlfriend....ugh the flood of emotions I have at just typing that.

Basically here's my advice. Consult an attorney. As scary as that sounds. You're not necessarily filing at this point. I will tell you that once I left that initial meeting, I felt for once....RELIEF. I felt empowered. I felt like I was one girl that was no longer a tool to be messed with. I'm a nice gal, stop hurting me!

The pain you are currently experiencing CAN NOT get any worse. Seriously. What's worse than this?

I care for you and feel your pain. It's not fair. It's total crap to have your heart stomped on by a thankless person who you happen to love more than life.

Get some advice. Take your time in your final decision. I promise the initial meeting will clear your head and make you stronger.

Love,
Maelynn

hello-kitty

Can you just leave for a few days to get your head together and make a plan? Sometimes we just need to step back and assess a situation before we do anything.

onthebrink828

Yeah, that is good advice. I should do that tomorrow. and I assume taking that first step will make it much more real. I think I'm just trying to hide? from reality...but it's true - not much will hurt more than this. How did you deal with the guilt? I feel guilty about leaving if that makes sense at all. It's just horrible as you know - I know he doesn't MEAN to hurt me - he actually loves me very much and I'm not blind to that. But I also know I shouldn't have to worry every time he goes out of the house that he might come back high. I shouldnt have to worry about who he is calling etc etc.
Thanks for the advice, I will definitely go see someone about it.

onthebrink828

I have been assessing for so long now...I keep going back. I know what I should do - just a matter of doing it...

bognot1977

If you fully feel as though you've exhausted every single avenue. Please don't walk, RUN to an attorney. Just to feel out the situation. It will cost (well...around here anywhere from $50-$100).

It's a major step. BUT it's NOT FINAL. It's getting real information. You will feel better. You will feel stronger.

I'm with you on a new marriage. It makes it all the more harder. But addiction doesn't give 2 sh*ts how long you've been married. You deserve sanity. Right? Effing A RIGHT!

Love,
Maelynn