Shame
Living in a Pinkful Place
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
Shame
Shame - I know for me I have been feeling a lot of this lately. At my f2f group this was the topic last nite.
Although this is not the reading for today - I thought I would share this with the board today as it might help many of you as it helped me. Together we can make it thru the way we have been affected, hurt, and healed from the scars of this awful disease.
Courage to Change February 24 - page 57
We all make mistakes. But Hopefully, as we apply the Al-Anon program and continue to grow in self-awareness, we will learn from those mistakes. Amends can be made for any harm we've done, and we can change our behavior and attitudes so that we won't repeat the same errors. Thus even painful past experiences can help us learn to create a better future.
The greatest obstacle to this learning process is shame. Shame is an excuse to hate ourselves today for somethign we did or didn't do in the past. There is no room in a shame-filed mind for the fact that we did our best at the time, no room to accept that as human beings we are bound to make mistakes.
If I feel ashamed, I need a reality check because my thinking is probably distored. Even though it may take great courage, if I share about it with an Al-Anon friend, I will interrupt the self-destructive thoughts and make room for a more loving and nurturing point of view. With a little help, I may discover that even my most embarrassing moments can bless my life by teacing me to turn in a more positive direction.
Today's reminder
Today I will love myself enought to recognize shame as an error in judgment.
"The ultimate lesson all of us have to learn is unconditional love, which includes not only others but ourselves as well."
Although this is not the reading for today - I thought I would share this with the board today as it might help many of you as it helped me. Together we can make it thru the way we have been affected, hurt, and healed from the scars of this awful disease.
Courage to Change February 24 - page 57
We all make mistakes. But Hopefully, as we apply the Al-Anon program and continue to grow in self-awareness, we will learn from those mistakes. Amends can be made for any harm we've done, and we can change our behavior and attitudes so that we won't repeat the same errors. Thus even painful past experiences can help us learn to create a better future.
The greatest obstacle to this learning process is shame. Shame is an excuse to hate ourselves today for somethign we did or didn't do in the past. There is no room in a shame-filed mind for the fact that we did our best at the time, no room to accept that as human beings we are bound to make mistakes.
If I feel ashamed, I need a reality check because my thinking is probably distored. Even though it may take great courage, if I share about it with an Al-Anon friend, I will interrupt the self-destructive thoughts and make room for a more loving and nurturing point of view. With a little help, I may discover that even my most embarrassing moments can bless my life by teacing me to turn in a more positive direction.
Today's reminder
Today I will love myself enought to recognize shame as an error in judgment.
"The ultimate lesson all of us have to learn is unconditional love, which includes not only others but ourselves as well."
Living in a Pinkful Place
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
Shame is an excuse to hate ourselves today for somethign we did or didn't do in the past. There is no room in a shame-filed mind for the fact that we did our best at the time, no room to accept that as human beings we are bound to make mistakes.
Never until I came into recovery did I realize how much I truly hated myself and felt ashamed of everything about me. Even as I am dealing with the issues with my soon to be ex - I feel shame because I choose to be married to a man for over 16 years that would do these types of things to me.
That is unrealistic shame - this is not my shame to bear. I gave all to a person who I believed was trying to give all to me also - Once I gained the realization that he was not capable to do that and God opened the path to walk away from this unhealthiness - I walked away.
There is no shame in this.
My thinking has been distorted.
Praying this reading helps you as much as it has helped and healed me.
HUGS,
Rita
Never until I came into recovery did I realize how much I truly hated myself and felt ashamed of everything about me. Even as I am dealing with the issues with my soon to be ex - I feel shame because I choose to be married to a man for over 16 years that would do these types of things to me.
That is unrealistic shame - this is not my shame to bear. I gave all to a person who I believed was trying to give all to me also - Once I gained the realization that he was not capable to do that and God opened the path to walk away from this unhealthiness - I walked away.
There is no shame in this.
My thinking has been distorted.
Praying this reading helps you as much as it has helped and healed me.
HUGS,
Rita
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