hoping

Well, I have been on and off these boards for years. I hope others may use this fact as a cautionary tale for their lives. My husband is an addict and my life has been out of control for 12 years. I am tired....
Today he came home and told me he had a drug test at work and failed. This is a new job on a conditional basis if he passed the drug test. He volunteered to take is (supposedly) because he thought the stuff was out of his system. He claims it has been 45 days. He comes home angry and yelling at me. My kids are out for the night and I am supposed to be studying. I have been taking classes in hopes of getting an RN liscense. Now it seems impossible. If anyone has any advice. I know LPN is shorter. How much less does it pay? I am 43 and I think this process is just hopeful for me. We will be out of money, etc. I know a local technical school offers a LPN for a year. I had 3 years of college a billion years ago. I am in my second semester at community college. Last semester I got straight A's and I took a full load. It just seems like it will take a year to get into a program and then 2 more years. I do not know why I thought I would have time for this. Any advice??? I would like to know I could do something to support myself and kids.

Ann

Welcome back, hoping, I'm sorry this is happening in your life but glad you came back to people who will support you here.

Maybe check with the nursing schools where you are and see what is available, financially and course time. This can vary from state to state and even within the same state.

Hopefully your husband will find some kind of work and contribute to the finances...but then again, it's hard to depend on anyone active in their addiction.

Please take care of yourself, you deserve to be able to finish this schooling. Have you been to any meetings lately? That may help you keep your balance through all this.

Welcome Home Hugs

jan123

I am sorry for the frustration you are going through, but in reading this I think that short of your goals in nursing, you may want to clean up the baggage that is at the front door with your husband. Tell me, what is your husband doing for you right now? Can you study and achieve your goals with an active addict at your side? If not, I would do home care and move out until you can resume your studies. Attempting to better yourself deserves the highest amount of respect. Does he respect you? I highly doubt it, he respects no one, not even himself.

My daughter is in university working towards her masters degree as a Nurse Practitioner. Her brothers as well as myself respect her schedule. We do anything in our power to make her life easier and less complicated. That is what people do when they love one another, in the hope that she knows we are behind her, supporting her in the good and the not so good. So far she is a straight A student.

This is not the time to be frustrated with another persons disease. In fact there is never a time for that! Didn't pass the drug test well that sucks. Maybe he should rethink the time frame on taking one. In fact, maybe he should rethink the whole drug thing!

You sound like a very motivated person to me. Please realize that unless he gets better no matter what you achieve he will use it to his advantage. Is that what you want? You educate yourself, he prospers.

Good luck in your studies. Keep care of yourself!


Jan

bluebelle

If you want to find out about the pay for RN vs LPN, you can go to salary.com. Or, some hospitals have the beginning salaries listed on their website.

racaple78

I am in the same boat as you, two kids, I'm 30, I have a AH, I am currently taking classes for getting into the RN program, but......I left my husband to better a life for myself and our kids. He wouldn't stop, and his antics were nothing but a negative drain on my life. Leaving him was the hardest thing for me to do, but it was the right thing. He has only gotten worse (not m fault though), and is taking heavier drugs, while my family has stepped in to help support me and the kids while I'm working towards my degree. I will now continue to study until I finish it, period. I have taken out too many loans in college to stop now. If I'm going to do it, I'm going to do it. I would suggest you pray about it. Do you have any family that would help you out? My family was especially helpful once they realized I was leaving my AH (they didn't like him)....maybe this could be the same situation for you? Granted, I am a single mom now to two small kids, but my life is actually TONS easier and less stressful without dealing with my husband's problems.
I hope everything works out for you.

In a Tailspin

I'm not sure where you live..........but as an RN I can tell you there is not better job security!! Most hospitals these days (at least in my area) will pay for their employees to go back to school for degrees that they are in need of, ie: RN. How much schooling you plan to put yourself through first is up to you. You could get a job as a CNA or even working in the lab (phlebotomist, etc) and then either go straight for your RN or take it in stages......LPN, then RN. You can even choose if you want to go for and Associates in nursing or your Bachelors. Most of these hospitals will require that you work a specified number of hours while you are in school and have worked there a certain period of time before they will pay. Also, they will require that you work there for a period of time after you attain your degree.......or have to pay back the tuition they paid on your behalf.

Either way, there are lots of options available to you once you have nursing degree.......best of luck to you and congratulations on pursuing something that *you* want to do!!

mooselips

As a retired R.N. I can tell you, you've made a good choice in deciding your future.

My future daughter-in-Law (I hope) in currently in a year long program and will graduate with an LPN license, then immediately be accepted into an R.N. program.

From what I understand the waiting lists are long, but please pursue your goals, for the security, and stability for your family.

Is the plan to support your AH?

caileesnana

I am an RN who went back to school w/ two young kids. Hardest and best thing I ever did! I urge you to continue, get grants, loans, aide--whatever it takes! you willalways have a job and two years is two years any way you look at it!

Take care of you and the rest will fall into place......

susan

hoping

Thank you for your responses. I am really trying. It looks like the school I wanted to attend ( a local hospital nursing school) wont take some of my previous education and I wouldn't be able to start until May2010. I don't make the deadline for my community college nursing program by 2 classes. Anatomy and Physiology I,II. I wouldn't be able to officially start the two year program until Sep. 2010. I can take some classes ahead of time. I feel like this will be forever. I could go to a technical school program now and either take RN 3 year program or LPN 16 month program. It is 20 thousand. Is the pay difference so huge for RN and LPN? Anyone who can give me advice, I would WELCOME it. The technical school said the RN program is mainly for people who were already LPN's and recommended the LPN program. I have 3 years of college but it was 25 years ago. I made a straight A's last semester and really want to get a medical career so I could support myself and the kids. I wouldn't be as trapped.
I feel so overwhelmed and my husband just doesn't seem to care about any consequences in life. He also has to go to trial for possession of marijuana, and obstruction of justice at the beginning of march. He keeps telling me it is nothing to worry about. He has never been arrested until now and thats an amazing fact with all that he has done. I don't know what to do.
Sorry about the huge posting, but I hope someone can give advice. I am 43.

k1a2t3h4r5y6n7

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I know firsthand how frustrating this is. I dropped out of college for the 3rd time in Oct., when my fiancee went into treatment. At the time I dropped out I was making all A's in some of the more difficult classes, working towards my pharm-D degree. I had finally started to believe that I may actually finish school this time. When he revealed his addiction to me and decided to go to treatment, I dropped out of school because I knew that I couldn't depend on him to be the sole financial provider for our family anymore and, at that time, without his income, I couldn't even pay for the gas for my commute every day, much less buy groceries or pay the bills. I needed to start looking for a job right away.

I'm sure I made the right decision, because, at the time, I didn't have any other options. But I think about it everyday and how I feel like I am a failure and I'll never get a degree.

It's very tough to know that I have basically given up on my hopes of finishing college and that to so many people I am seen as stupid, even though I know I'm smart enough to earn my degree; it's just that my life is a Jerry Springer episode.

And I currently owe the federal government $887 to pay back my financial aid because I made all F's for the semester. Talk about a big slap in the face.