dry addict???
 

I just got back from taking ad to a city 60 mi. away for a job interview. I'm fine with that. She has 2 daughters in my custody that does not seem to be any concern to her. There is somewhere she could possibly be called back to 10 minutes away, but she has no interest in going back to that job, now its all about Madison. She said "well, how would I get there, the guy who I rode with moved" I said 'move there, its only 10 min away versus 80 min" there was no response. It,s difficult fo rme to accept that htis woman doesn't seem to have any plans to ever be with her girls When she got out of jail, instead of putting them first, ad went on a date! she hadn't touched her daughters in 8 months as she was in jail. we don't argue or even raise voices over what she does. I just keep my feeeling to myself as I know it would just start an argument. Thats why this site is so important to me. I can come here and get it out of my system. She still claims tobe clean but her thoughts and actions are still the same. Its ALL about her and what She wants. I have met some addicts in recovery and their biggest goal is to work on getting the children back, I belive thats the importance of a program vesus "just stopping" and no program. Thanks for listening. I'm not even sure this all makes any sense:c029:

I didn't understand for a long time that accepting something didn't necessarily mean I had to like it. I just had to accept it, or go nuts fighting with it in my head.

The drugs were just a symptom of my disease of addiction. The problem was right between my ears in my self-centeredness, my inability to cope with life on life's terms, and be a responsible mature adult.

My oldest AD has never been, nor ever will be a responsible parent. My grandkids' stepmom called me the other day in tears because she is at her wit's end with my almost 14 year old granddaughter. My oldest AD has influenced those kids profoundly even though she doesn't have custody, and it isn't for the better.

I expect nothing in the way of 'normalcy' from my AD, not in the way of responsible parenting when she has the kids for visitation, in the way of being a decent human being.

I have completely turned her over to God.

katie, I know how difficult it is when there are grand children involved. The best you can do, is to let go of your AD and be there for the little ones.

Are you going to meetings? Besides SR, a f2f meeting is of great support. And sometimes that hands on hug is really needed. I found that out at my last meeting, after I shared & cried, I got lots of hugs and believe me when I say they really helped.

Keep posting here, and venting when you need to. We understand completely your frustration.

Hugs,
Chris

I do go to alanon,but what is f2f meeting? I'd be intersested in anything that may bring me peace of mind. I know how they can influence the children. I have a 14 yr. old gd. my gd has mom on a pedestal. ad always likes to tell me how well they can communicate and how her daughter trusts her and is very open with her. That hurts. I have had custody of her for 5 years and it's hard to get her to even talk to me!! I do feel resentment for my ad as she took a very special gift from me and that is being a gramma. I have to be the parent now. And not many teens like the parents!!!I only pray that someday gd will be grateful. One of her friends told me gd was upset about mom's move She told her "doesn't my mom want to be with me, like I want to be with her?' When I asked ad how gd took the news she said "she's fine with it". I don't know why she doesn't tell her mom what she told her best friend. As we left to take ad to Madison gd said "good luck, Mom. I mentioned to ad what gd friend told me, the response was "well, what am I suppose to do, stay here and be homeless? Joke. She moved in with her bf a month ago but keeps it quiet so her PO wont find out. To be honest, if it was just me I'd love to have her away, but I worry about gd.

Katie, she can't take care of herself so I shudder to think how she would take care of kids if she had them.

I know it's a load for you to carry, but those children are lucky to have you in their lives.

Take care of yourself and those children, and say a prayer for your daughter. My prayers go out for her also.

Hugs