I Am Shocked! I Am Angry!

Old 02-13-2009, 09:20 PM
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I Am Shocked! I Am Angry!

AH pulled a huge dozie this time. I'm am so angry!!

We were to meet at our tax preparer Tues before last to file taxes, married jointly, he agreed he would get half and I get half. The morning of that day I got a text saying he wasn't coming to the appt., and that he was filing taxes himself and had already done so!! (shock!!!)

I texted him back telling him he can't do that without me!! He can't legally do that!!

He texted back saying yes he can.

I showed to the appt any way and told my tax preparer (who has been preparing our taxes for years) what he has done.
Him and his wife looked in shock as I was. They said he came in the previous day (Mon), and wanted a copy of 2007 filing papers. They took me privately aside and told me they couldn't understand a word he was saying, he was slurring. He said to them he would see them Tues as he was leaving!!
I told them he was probably using because he talked with son on the phone Sun and was talking the same way.

So what to do? I go home call the IRS tell them he's filed somewhere somehow, and I don't know how. They looked to see if anything had been filed under my name and SS #. They said nothing, and to call back in a week.
I call back this past Tues. Still nothing filed under my name. So I'm thinking what the heck is he doing? I can't get info on him due to disclosure laws.

I call him screaming asking how he has filed, where he's filed. He says he has filed MJ, electronically, online with the help of a friend of a friend. (Great answer huh?) I said you can't do that without my presence or signature!!!!!!! I told him I want copies of everything he has done!!! Of course I didn't get anything

Today I get a text from him saying "blank" amount came into HIS checking account today. So now I call the IRS, and low and behold he did file this way without my signature. FRAUD!! He's asking me via text if I want half, but he says he has no paperwork. I am livid at this point. I don't respond to his texts. I call the IRS again and again, telling them he's filed without my signature, without my authorization without my presence. I can't morally or legally accept 1/2 of money for something I haven't legally seen nor signed. They told me it looks like what he's done is file electronically and generated a pin # for me as well as himself. When filing jointly both spouses are to have thier OWN pin # for signature verification.

So he has all this money in his account, and I can't accept what should be my half because he filed without me, and basically forged my name to a filing I never saw.

And he's an addict with that amount in the bank! God help!

(The years prior we would file together through our honest tax preparer, both sign for it, and it would come back in a check with both our names and we cash it together and divide it at the bank). How he got it to go into his checking account is another mystery.

The IRS is sending me a Fraud and Abuse form to fill out.

And the IRS is sending me a transcript of what HE filed, and I'm going from there to get legal help.

God help!!!! I have been in so much emotional pain over this!! But I know Righteousness, and my God will prevail.

NH7
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Old 02-13-2009, 09:56 PM
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Oh NH7,
I'm so sorry that you're going through all this madness with your AH. He's putting himself in a vulnerable position and maybe in the end, this will be a good thing. You make sure you fill out that form carefully and give the government every piece of information you've got. And yes, get legal help too. His having these things on his record aren't going to help him, but they may help you to loosen his remaining ties to you.

So many of the behaviours of people like your AH (and my sis) are hard to document or properly explain to authorities so that they can DO anything to help. Something like this is so beautifully black and white that it may end up being very useful to you.

Heartbreaking though it is, if they're going to do heinous things, it's a blessing when they do them in broad daylight and create a trail of evidence. At least that way we can prove what's happened and protect ourselves and the kids.

Hugs to you... and all good wishes with this mess.

If anyone can handle it, I know you can. You've dealt with so much already... I know you'll manage okay.
((love))
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Old 02-13-2009, 09:59 PM
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Be very careful with the IRS if they find a reason to audit your taxes they will and you as well as your husband will be liable...which means you may be require to pay money back that he has already spent....

Good luck,
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Old 02-13-2009, 10:04 PM
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(((Needinghelp)))

Just sending support for you.....it's so hard dealing with someone who's not all there -under the influence- making choices that effect you too. When you said slurring words it reminds me so much of my AH while taking pills.

Sounds like you are doing things to protect yourself - good for you.

Know that whatever happens you CAN AND WILL get through this.
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Old 02-14-2009, 05:14 AM
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(((NH7))) Yowza.....so, can I just say....sue the pants off of him?! Have him arrested for fraud?! I'm so sorry this has happened, and I would consult a tax attorney if you are able.

Hugs and prayers! HG
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Old 02-14-2009, 05:51 AM
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I would take the money. It will be gone if you don't. You can still follow through with anything you feel appropriate.
JMO
I hope this works out for you
(((Hugs)))
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Old 02-14-2009, 06:22 AM
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I went through a similar thing 2 yrs. ago. AH went to a tax preparer that his addict friends used. He never asked me to file jointly. Showed me the paperwork and simply not done correctly. "Smart me" haha-told him the changes I thought should be made and that I would file jointly with him to get the extra deduction but would not pay what he owed. "Smart me". Well, he is sent to prison and I receive a letter from the IRS wanting the money he owes. Hmmm. I ignored them. Then a registed letter stating they are taking $100 out of my tiny social security check-THAT HURT. I called them and explained the situation and they were actually nice, had I called they would have done something different but too late now. Both said too bad he was not in federal prison-they would send him a big hello.

I was in banking almost all my life and dealt with the IRS many times for customers. I have found that they are not the devil and will work with you whenver possible. Be certain when talking to them to document the conversation and their names. The IRS should be able to advise you on what steps to take.

Hang in there!!!!!!!!!
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Old 02-14-2009, 09:06 AM
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i'm sorry you are going through this. Perhaps your tax preparer can advise you on whether it makes sense to take your half and hold it pending the outcome? I strongly suspect the money will be gone soon otherwise and since it is a joint return, you may be responsible for mistakes he made?
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Old 02-14-2009, 09:26 AM
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I agree with Greet - call your accountant and take the $ and hold it - I too would be fearful of audits or whatever if any red flags are thrown up.
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Old 02-14-2009, 10:45 AM
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My ex-AH did that to me (except he had someone forge my sig) 18 years ago. I notified the IRS and they even appointed a clerk to help me sort it out. I got it resolved relatively easily, thanks to their help. Of course, I catastrophized the whole process and worried more than I needed to, though.
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Old 02-14-2009, 10:53 AM
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I am so sorry this has happend, but it again confirms the old adage..."You can't expect responsible behaviour from someone who is incapable of being responsible".

Live and learn, get legal help to separate your tax and legal matters from his and just don't count on him for anything. An active addict just cannot be counted on, as sad as that is.

Hugs to you, and good for you for fighting this.
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Old 02-15-2009, 05:49 PM
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Thank you all, I'm still pretty upset about all this.
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Old 02-16-2009, 05:19 AM
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NH7, you have every right to be upset. You were "submarined". I hope you can work to protect yourself financially and legally.

Hugs and prayers! HG
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Old 02-16-2009, 05:24 AM
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((Needing help))

As a Tax Professional - it breaks my heart to tell you that we have men and women that come in our office ALL the time that this has happened. Which is why our office refuses to allow one spouse to sign for another. Both must be present to sign paperwork and provide valid ID prior to completing tax return.

You have been given some very good suggestions on different actions to take as far as what you can do - another thing that will come into play in this situation is if you live in a community property state. That sometimes affects things differently too.

I can relate to your fear, anger and resentment - but I do want to give you this calm reassurance that has been given to me as I am going thru some very difficult times in my divorce with my soon to be ex A.

Remember -your A is not in control. Ultimately the IRS is not even in control - The God of your understanding is in control. Absolutely nothing surprise your HP - He knew this was coming and has a plan - we can trust in our HP's guidance, comfort and strength that we will be able to make it thru this.

HUGS, (hope, unity, gratitude and serenity)
Rita
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Old 02-16-2009, 09:53 AM
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Both must be present to sign paperwork and provide valid ID prior to completing tax return.
Yes, this is the way it's suppose to be done. He went behind my back filed and signed my name illegally to a filing I never saw, and had it go into an account of his.

#1 this would have never happened had I been present. I have only in years past go to our tax prof, file with both present, and both signing, and agreeing to a check coming in both names. Then meeting at my CU to cash refund check and divide there at the teller, with written signatures of both of what we each received and divided. I'm not stupid. This being the only safe way with a husband like mine.

I found out he filed on the 3rd, the money was in his account on the 13th. 10 days, that fast, unbelievable. The thing is, is I don't know why the IRS wasn't picking up on it even Tues the 10th. I didn't know the day he had filed. They were still showing nothing under my name nor SS#, so at this point I thought maybe he filed under another filing status, which I told them would be illegal because if he's claimed son as a dep, and claimed the earned income credit, son is with me, so he couldn't do that either. But sure enough...he filed MJ.

He called yesterday, I didn't pick up. He left a message that he would like to meet and "square things up" with me (addict speech????). That he will show me all paperwork that needs to be shown. That he is at the hospital, and won't be visiting with son. He was just at the hospital the previous Friday and missed last Sat visit also (trying to play on my sympathies, and cover for himself as sick???) But I will not be meeting him anywhere.

This man, whom I am ashamed to be married to, is SHREWD!!!!! What he has done has got to be illegal!!!!

I am eagerly awaiting a call tomorrow for help with what action to take. It's been a long painful few weeks.



NH7

Japioca, my state is an "equitable distribution" state.

Japioca, does the transcript show everything including what account # the moneys went into?
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Old 02-16-2009, 12:15 PM
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To needinghelp7
my ex was so vindictive that he refused to fill out and sign the paperwork in order for us to receive a REFUND! He would have rather gone without it than to give me half (it was for a year that we were still married). I called the IRS and got a sympathetic clerk. As it turned out they owed us interest on our money so this sympathetic clerk said that she was going to write us two seperate checks do divide the money and put all the interest on just mine ;-) I was able to finalize everything without him. Vengence is sweet!!!!!!
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Old 02-16-2009, 12:43 PM
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Not sure about the transcripts showing Direct Deposit info.
But hopefully that will help you with the information you need.

Take good care of YOU!
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Old 02-26-2009, 01:13 PM
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AH(estranged) said to me today "I can't believe you called the IRS."

Then he called me "nuts" Then he hung up to call his lawyer.

I said "yeah your gonna need one."
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Old 02-26-2009, 01:34 PM
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NH7 I am so sorry......what he&& you have to put up with. Do as cece said TAKE THE MONEY, in cash please. Just take it and hold it, you don't know how this is going to come out and the last thing you need is the IRS on your back. AH will just spend it if you don't take it. His day will come....sooner then he thinks.
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Old 02-26-2009, 05:25 PM
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Thanks MrJoey, The minute I read your post I did it. I called him told him to come get me, and take me to the bank and get me half. AND HE DID! He did listen and said he was sorry. I was so afraid he was going to keep it. I was so afraid of why he did it, what his motive was? I was going to press charges against him for forgery. File abuse and fraud form. The stress thinking all that through blew my mind. Had I done that it would have taken forever. But I wanted to teach him a lesson, and my boundaries. Being he has done so much I never trust his words. I get so mad when he does things out of order, and underhanded. He really acted like he thought what he did was okay. I told him, no, you don't file that way and sign both spouses names. This really bothers me. He really seemed sorry he created such a problem, and a woman prayed last night that he would become repentant.

Absolutely nothing surprise your HP - He knew this was coming and has a plan - we can trust in our HP's guidance, comfort and strength that we will be able to make it thru this.
Thanks Japioco, I didn't think I was going to make it through, but God truly is faithful no matter what I think.


Thankyou all.... I do feel more at peace. One more problem over with.

NH7

Last edited by NeedingHelp7; 02-26-2009 at 05:41 PM.
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