Bf went to rehab and wants to make amends
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
I agree with cynical one. I'm a recovering addict. I didn't go to rehab, but it took me a LONG time to get to the point where my family was ready to ACCEPT my amends.
Of course, we're talking about my dad and stepmom, which is quite a bit different than a boyfriend, but still. I had to walk the walk of my recovery, in the REAL world, and prove that I was not just talk, before they began to believe I was truly interested in recovery. I said I was sorry a million times. My dad never rejected my apology, but nothing changed with him until he SAW I was truly working my recovery and that took time.
He is in a structured environment, where he is totally focused on recovery. If it were me, I would just wait and see how he acts when he gets out and is faced with real life. There's nothing wrong with saying "I need time".
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Of course, we're talking about my dad and stepmom, which is quite a bit different than a boyfriend, but still. I had to walk the walk of my recovery, in the REAL world, and prove that I was not just talk, before they began to believe I was truly interested in recovery. I said I was sorry a million times. My dad never rejected my apology, but nothing changed with him until he SAW I was truly working my recovery and that took time.
He is in a structured environment, where he is totally focused on recovery. If it were me, I would just wait and see how he acts when he gets out and is faced with real life. There's nothing wrong with saying "I need time".
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Originally Posted by worriedfriend78 
how do I approach this. Its been a long time and i went through hell and now he wants back into my life?
I too have been to hell and back and have no intention of ever going there again. Take care of yourself, work your own recovery, and you`ll be okay and make your choices from a place of balance and clarity.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Home of the Ravens-MD
Posts: 1,316
I agree with all the others, actions speak louder than words. Right now your friend is in rehab, structured, taken care of, it's what will happen when he's back out in the real world. Rehab is not a magical fix.
Take care of yourself, and do only what you feel you will benefit your balance & serenity.
Hugs,
Chris
Take care of yourself, and do only what you feel you will benefit your balance & serenity.
Hugs,
Chris
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: nyny
Posts: 8
Your all correct...note: he is out of rehab (just a couple months). But I should see how reality will affect him. I am very uneasy about it and at the same time happy to hear from him. It's been along time and I thought I was healed... I find old memories of the hell and lies popping up in my head and heart. It looks like I may need more time myself. Thanks for the help you guys.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: nyny
Posts: 8
Thankful for the help
Its time to forgive and start a new. It's been 2 years and now my "friend" has gotten better and I have also healed... emotionally. I feel so lucky that our friendship was strong enough to help find his way back. I think...No I know we are the lucky ones cause it doesn't always turn out for the better. Thank you everyone that listened and thank you my friend for coming back to the ones that cared. Take care everyone and good luck. Its time to start our lives AGAIN 
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