katie53

did anyone ever get clean without repeated rehab? What I mean is"did you go to rehab, complete the program, and then relapse for more than 3 months? And then decide "that's it, I quit". And did so without further treatment? I have talked to 2 people who claim they did, including my daughter, but they seem to have some irrational behavior, self-indulgence,etc. thanks for your help

Freedom1990

I went to rehab in 1986 and stayed clean/sober for 4 years. I made the mistake of getting involved in a very unhealthy relationship with another guy in recovery. He relapsed, and I was right behind him.

I was incredibly blessed as I was only 'out there' for 2 months during my relapse, and made it back to the rooms of recovery. I've been clean/sober now since August of 1990.

Taking5

Most people that get and stay clean never go to rehab or treatment of any sort, and many never even go to NA or AA.

k1a2t3h4r5y6n7

my addict says that everyone tells him you can't stay clean without some sort of support group such as NA.
he still kind of has that "all or nothing" approach to life that most addicts seem to have.

hello-kitty

I somehow managed to do it. There but for the grace of god I guess. Rehab would have been helpful but I managed to keep my addiction a secret so it never got to the point that anyone suggested I go there.

I definitely needed a support group. I don't see how I could have just quit without a support group of people in recovery to relate too. They had the ES&H I needed to get off drugs and stay off drugs. I couldn't have done it with a support group.

Kallista

I went to AA in February of 1993 for a few weeks and then went back out until June 1993. Then I went to AA and stayed there. I never went to a treatment center. I did steps 1 -7 before my first anniversary, and start on 8 and 9 the week after my first anniversary.

It took me a long, long time to get better, but for that matter graduates of treatment centers also take a long time to get better. I probably got better as fast, but not faster or slower than someone who went to a treatment center.

katie53

I have always heard that relapse is a given if there is no support or treatment of some sort. I believe that if my daughter went through some type of treatment or even meetings that it would help with prioritys. Her 14 yr old is bothered that mom would make the choice to move 60 mi. away instead of staying here and working on creating a home for her and her sister. She has never mentioned, since getting out of jail, that she would like that to be her goal. I trully wonder of she even wants to be a parent. She will claim she is clean, but where's her priority? I have called a counselor for her 14 yr. old as her friend told me my gd was upset over mom's choice she feels mom doesn't want to be with them and can't understand why. So,so sad. My heart breaks for her

Freedom1990

The problem with that thinking is a person will only get out treatment or meetings what they want out of it. If they are not ready to change, they can go through all the rehabs they want, attend all the meetings they want, and it's not going to make a bit of difference unless they are willing to pick up the tools suggested and do the work.

There was a gal in my small town where I live who did rehab 12 times, yes, 12 times. Her parents were her best enablers. She also got very rehab-savvy and knew exactly how to play the game to get out of there with flying colors.

She was buried two years ago. She was 50. The last time I saw her before she had passed away, she looked like she weighed maybe 90 pounds soaking wet. She looked 70 years old. Her teeth were gone, eyes sunk in her head, and her skin was so wrinkled she looked like a prune with toothpicks for legs and arms.

She left behind a daughter, a daughter who never ever saw her mother in recovery for any significant amount of time, and two grandchildren.

winnie12

IMO everyone is different so different people can recover in different ways. My AS says he can do it on his own... but he doesnt so obviously he cant do it on his own. i think that the benefit of a recovery group, rehab, whatever, is that it addresses the core problems and not just the side affect addiction.

hello-kitty

Relapse is pretty much a given whether there is support, treatment or no support or treat. Relapse happens when we stop focusing on recovery. It can happen 1 day, 100 days, 1 year or 10 years after we quit using drugs. It is always a possibility and rehab is no predictor.

justanothrdrunk

For the specific scenario of which you speak (treatment completed - lengthy relapse - and then recovery again without another treatment), I can't say that I know of anyone who has done that exactly. I'm sure they're out there though.

katie53

winnie12, I think that's it! It's the core She may be clean, but the behaviors are there. IF she is clean, that's all that's changed. before crack she put her home up for sale beacause she went to Vegas for 4 days and decided that's where she wanted to live. I asked about her then 9 yr old daughter. She said well, she can live with her dad, I want to move to Vegas. No job prospects and if her mobile home sold she'd make about 2 grand. as it went, she found crack and lost it. There is a history of 20 yrs' of drug use. the last 4 her doc has been crack . 4 yrs. of hell

sophia1980

My abf doesn't believe in rehab....he's been to over ten different ones...from the 12steps to sweating it out in a sauna for 2months. He's done detox clinics, had naltrexone implants (for his heroin addiction), had counselling, done EFT, TFT and all these mind type therapies you get.

He's moved countries to escape it, many many times. He put himself on an island 3 times to escape....but always ends up running back to the drugs. Most of these rehabs, I begged him to go into...

NOW I don't beg him... I just pray and hope...I've turned him over into God's hands. I only ask him to pray. He's started praying...and he said he had an ephipany the other night (unless it was drug-induced hallucinations! )...but he wouldn't lie about something like that....The night after this he started a home detox all by himself...
soo now I will wait and see.....
and am trying to stay detached!

Hope lives on

Marlie

I have learned lots since my AD has been in rehab. There were so many people there who were going through rehab again - one guy was on his 14th try. A counselor had done rehab 13 times but had been clean and sober for 22 years now. He painted a grim picture of how difficult it is to stay clean and sober. I think that is why I am so worried about my AD now. I thought you went for 30 days, cleaned up and voila --- happily went through the rest of your life without drugs and booze ( I guess it isn't that easy). I spoke with my daughters psychiatrist yesterday about her and possible scenarios if she is using again, and he said relapse is part of the recovery process. Doesn't that give ya all the warm fuzzies?

k1a2t3h4r5y6n7

how interesting that you say that.
I've often wondered whether or not anyone gets clean on their first try.
My addict fiancee has been through detox or treatment 3 or 4 times now, but this is the first time that he has come out of it with a positive outlook on life.
Usually he has come out thinking, "i'm not doing the hard stuff anymore, but i can still smoke pot or drink recreationally" and then it's only a matter of time...
this time he stayed the entire time, and he got some good education on addiction-as-a disease and exactly what he needed to do to keep himself clean. he has been clean and sober for more than 90 days now, which is the longest time since he started using.
but i still wonder if it's gonna take another relapse to kind of kick-him-in-the-balls (excuse my crude language), or if he's already had enough ball-kicks?...?
i just don't know.

Freedom1990

That just drives me crazy. Relapse is NOT part of the recovery process. Relapse is part of the disease. Gads I love professionals who spout that crap.

k1a2t3h4r5y6n7

so you're saying that some people do get clean on their first try, never relapse?

Freedom1990

My sponsor is over 27 years clean and sober, zero relapses.

When I relapsed after 4 years clean and sober, that was because I was active in the disease again. I made a conscious choice to use and drink again. It was NOT a part of my recovery process.

NoelleR

"so you're saying that some people do get clean on their first try, never relapse?"

Thx Freedom....like Meatloaf would say, "You took the words right out of my mouth." .....LOL

...and thx for the examples too, Freedom and anvilhead.....for a couple more....:

1) My first sponsor got clean/sober in September 1984 [a short stint (a couple of weeks) in a community-based recovery house]....and no relapses to date;
2) My second sponsor got clean/sober in (I fortget the month) 1972 (no detox or treatment center)....and no relapses to date;
3) My bestest and longest standing recovery friend got clean/sober in December 1983 (30 days treatment at Betty Ford), and no relapses to date;
4) My second bestest and second longest standing friend in recovery got clean/sober June 1, 1986 (no no detox or treatment center), and no relapses to date; and finally me.....;
5) I got clean/sober June 23, 1986 (no detox or treatment center), and no relapses to date.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now, I will say that most of these folks did not do it on his/her own; most used AA/NA as part of the recovery process. ....and all of them would say today, exactly what Freedom posted earlier....: relapse is NOT a part of recovery; it's a part of the disease....ya know how Gibbs smacks D'Nozzo up the back-side of his head....?....well that's what my sponsor did to me when I suggested that, since relapse is a part recovery, perhaps I needed to go out 'n relapse and then come back in.....? I think NOT.....LOLOL

I can't speak to all the OP's original questions but to the question....:
"...did anyone ever get clean without repeated rehab..." ...my answer would have to be a resounding 'YES.' I might also add that, for me and most of my friends in recovery, we did not do the 'one-day-at-a-time' or the 'just for today' things. Although we realize that a person can only live in today, when we got clean/sober, we did it for the long haul; for good 'n all; no matter what we would NOT pick up..... (o:


NoelleR

serenityqueen