anabeldm9

Or should I say he found me. I appreciate all the responses, guys. It's been really great help. Now I've got new problems with my brother. He arrived in Montana last week, where we suspected he was. Completely oblivious to the worry he caused and mad as ever at our parents for "trying to control him" aka making sure he is alive. A few days go by and then earlier today he calls me and he is suddenly in my town (I live in a popular west coast city). We had talked a few months back about him coming to visit me, he had wanted to move in with me but I said no, absolutely not. Years ago we both lived in a western town near the mountains (we both like to do work travel) and it was a disaster. He had just started using several kinds of drugs but I didn't know it at the time b/c I'm a naive dork who can count the number of times she's even smoked pot and he was terrible to me- trying to run me off the road with his car while I was driving to work one day, being verbally abusive, etc. So I was not eager for a repeat. But now he's in town, staying just outside of it at some crappy weekly motel with his gang of rag-tag (ex?) addict friends, one of whom was a big dealer. I have no reason to believe they're reformed. He was rather interested about the location of my job and my house. I called him tonight after work and he sounded really mellow...I think he's using again but then I don't know for sure b/c he's supposedly on suboxone but I haven't ****-tested him obviously...I want to see him but I don't want to get caught up in his bs. I have a strong feeling he is using probably heroin again but I have no way to prove it...maybe I'm just being dramatic? AH! I hate this. I want a normal brother who gets married and has kids and a decent job, maybe is a little eccentric but we all laugh about it. He makes us laugh so much when he's around and coherent and alert. Honestly our relationship was getting a little better...years, years ago we were actually quite close but he's been so different for so long now. K, rambling over. Blargh. I need to go to bed. I want to stay in my little room with my kitty cat watching Ugly Betty forever.:wtf2

Taking5

Don't let him know where you live or work....sounds way too suspicious to me.

FreeinMilwaukee

Has he had a mental health evaluation? I wonder if he has a condition that goes above and beyond drug addiction. The two may build on each other. I'm glad he was found.

Seren

I'm so glad you know that he's alive. Sometimes that's all we can ask for. Be safe while he's nearby....how terrible to have to be cautious around your own brother.

Hugs and good wishes,
HG

Serenity Bound

I'm glad you now know he is alive. I would try to keep my distance, and do not let him know where you live or work.

Hugs,
Chris

HurtingDad

As everyone said, glad he's alive but be careful. You love your brother, but the addict sucks. He will use you, steal from you - both physically and mentally.

All of us who had addicts in our family know that. Please be careful and keep us posted.

Prayers and wishes sent your way.

wooforever

I would not let him know where you live, but if you have neighbors I would let them know if they see anyone looking around for her to tell you.

It sounds like to me that he is going to rob your apartment. Kind of like casing the place out.

Glad to know he is alive.

ZombieWife

See him away from your house (far away, is my suggestion.) Meet somewhere public, like a coffee shop. Take enough for a coffee and no more cash. Take no credit cards or checks so that you won't be tempted to give him money if he asks.

No, he can't crash with you or stay with you.
No, he can't have money.
No, he can't borrow anything.

If he needs anything like clothes or such, tell him where the goodwill stores are located.

anabeldm9

Thank you everyone for the good advice. I definitely think there is a mental health issue at play here...but again only he can get help for that. I won't be contacting him again. If he wants to see me, I think I'll take public transit so he can't try to do anything to my car (it's our parents car and worth a lot of money). Will stay in touch. As always, I'm glad this place exists and that I found it. :ghug