Need some advice about loved one in recovery

Old 02-01-2009, 02:56 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Posts: 4
Exclamation Need some advice about loved one in recovery

Hello. I appreciate the wonderful support system that I have found on this website, and I hope that you will all be able to help me think rationally about the situation which I having been dealing with for the past 7 months. I met a wonderful guy last summer who I soon found out was an addict. He drank and abused opiates. Since then, I have stood by him every step of the way through numerous rehabs and sober living houses. I have been his biggest supporter (I do not drink or use), have always been there for him, have become close with his family, and done everything I can to make him know that I care about him and his recovery. To complicate the situation, he also suffers from bipolar disorder and depression and is taking meds for both of these. While his recovery is obviously his number one priority, I also have romantic feelings toward him. We are intimate, but he will not put the label of boyfriend/girlfriend on us. Some people have told me that this is because you should remain sober for one year before entering into a relationship. I do believe that he cares about me, but I find myself constantly worrying about him now that he is on his own and just released from the sober living home. If he doesn't return my calls, I think the worst-the mood disorders are taking a toll on me. If you have any advice for me, it would be most appreciated. Thank you.

angel718 is offline  
Old 02-01-2009, 03:04 PM
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Nature Girl
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 58,635
Angel, a healthy relationship is respectful, honest and a balance of give and take.

Perhaps ask yourself if you are getting as much as you are giving to this relationship, or are you the one doing all the work, doing all the compromise and wondering what is real and what is not.

Take a read around, make yourself comfortable and know that we're here for you no matter what you decide.

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Old 02-01-2009, 04:46 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: East Tawas, MI
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Welcome to SR. I have to second Ann's advice to you. Also if you can find some Nar-anon or Al-anon meetings to attend for yourself, they really do help. Hugs, Marle
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Old 02-01-2009, 05:37 PM
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Home of the Ravens-MD
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Welcome to SR. I also agree with Ann and Marle. Who is doing the most for this relationship or is it one sided. f-2-f meetings are very beneficial.

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