Running in Circles
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Jason, I'm sorry. My dad is an adult child of alcoholics. He very seldom talks about his parents, and I never met them because they were both dead by the time I was born.
My dad was the oldest of three boys, and both parents were alcoholics. I do know his dad was a violent alcoholic and beat on his mother.
His dad died in a fire at a club he owned out in the country. His mother died a year later. He was still in high school and left to raise two younger brothers by himself.
I can't even fathom that. I think it's too painful for him to talk about it.
Both of his brothers went on to become addicts/alkies. One died many years ago from his alcoholism/addiction. The other one is in extremely poor health now, but did quit drinking a few years back.
My dad's the only one of the three who never drank or drugged.
I know it's not exactly the same situation as yours, but I just wanted you to know that once upon a time a young man found himself with both parents dead of alcoholism in a very short period of time, and he wasn't even 18 yet. He didn't have any other family members to turn to either because most of them were alcoholics too (there's a long line on both sides of my family).
:ghug :ghug
My dad was the oldest of three boys, and both parents were alcoholics. I do know his dad was a violent alcoholic and beat on his mother.
His dad died in a fire at a club he owned out in the country. His mother died a year later. He was still in high school and left to raise two younger brothers by himself.
I can't even fathom that. I think it's too painful for him to talk about it.
Both of his brothers went on to become addicts/alkies. One died many years ago from his alcoholism/addiction. The other one is in extremely poor health now, but did quit drinking a few years back.
My dad's the only one of the three who never drank or drugged.
I know it's not exactly the same situation as yours, but I just wanted you to know that once upon a time a young man found himself with both parents dead of alcoholism in a very short period of time, and he wasn't even 18 yet. He didn't have any other family members to turn to either because most of them were alcoholics too (there's a long line on both sides of my family).
:ghug :ghug
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Home of the Ravens-MD
Posts: 1,316
Jason, Unfortunately, I believe that there are a ton of families out there that are discontented. Including my own. I have a brother that my sister and I call the other sibling, as neither one of us have heard from him in years. Oh if you call him, he'll talk, but he really is not interested in us. Couldn't even bother to come home for our Mom's funeral. (but that's a whole different story)
It's possible that your Dad's parents would support you, just because they don't support him doesn't mean they would abandon you. That's totally up to you, if you would want their help.
Otherwise, I understand you wanting to stick it out for the next 7 months, it seems that you are very mature for your age. Just remember to take care of yourself and separate yourself from your Dad's situation, if & when he comes home.
As someone else said, he may lose his license, if so, he may be willing to give you the car.
If you choose to go to meetings, I can guarantee that you will make friends and will be able to get rides. You see my AD lost her license and she gets to at least 1 meeting each and every day. Sometimes like today 3. She has to rely on program friends for rides. That is part of the program, helping each other, supporting each other in recovery.
I'm really sorry that you have to go through all of this, and hard as it seems right now, it will pass and I believe you will learn from it.
Your always welcome in MD also. Hmmm you could go from state to state. lol Just trying to lighten your load.
Take care.
Chris
It's possible that your Dad's parents would support you, just because they don't support him doesn't mean they would abandon you. That's totally up to you, if you would want their help.
Otherwise, I understand you wanting to stick it out for the next 7 months, it seems that you are very mature for your age. Just remember to take care of yourself and separate yourself from your Dad's situation, if & when he comes home.
As someone else said, he may lose his license, if so, he may be willing to give you the car.
If you choose to go to meetings, I can guarantee that you will make friends and will be able to get rides. You see my AD lost her license and she gets to at least 1 meeting each and every day. Sometimes like today 3. She has to rely on program friends for rides. That is part of the program, helping each other, supporting each other in recovery.
I'm really sorry that you have to go through all of this, and hard as it seems right now, it will pass and I believe you will learn from it.
Your always welcome in MD also. Hmmm you could go from state to state. lol Just trying to lighten your load.
Take care.
Chris
Clever Yak
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: ---
Posts: 4,360
Pretty sure he's coming home tomorrow. Sooo not looking forward to that. I think he's got a court date already, if so, then I'm gonna be in hell in the next few days or weeks or whatever. The reason I say this is because, MyJoey, your thread reminded me of what my dad is like before a court date. "Last hurrah" I know he'll get mandated meetings or drug tests or something like that. If he gets mandated those things, THANK GOD. I will finally have a little peace because I know he'll stay clean during the time he is assigned. He won't be happy, but he'll be clean. God forbid he should spend a few days in jail...
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: twilight zone,usa
Posts: 3,909
jason, i am so sorry you are going thur this. you are a brave young man. you are going to be ok in life. i wish i had all the answers for you. i am glad you are learning to take care of you. remember you are the son & not the father. this is a terrible situation. i hope your father gets some jail time. maybe social services will step in & help you.
are you going to n.a. meetings or naranon meetings? maybe you can tell your story there & someone can give you a place to stay. i wish you all the best. keep posting. we all care. do not let your father bring you down. prayers for you & your father going up. big hugs,
are you going to n.a. meetings or naranon meetings? maybe you can tell your story there & someone can give you a place to stay. i wish you all the best. keep posting. we all care. do not let your father bring you down. prayers for you & your father going up. big hugs,
Clever Yak
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: ---
Posts: 4,360
Oh my godddddddd.
My dad is fxcking insane. It hasn't even been a day yet and he's already taken off! He doesn't have his liscense so a friend must have picked him up, our car is still out there so he's not driving illegally. I didn't see him leave because I was at school, the only reason I know he's out of the hospital is because I called to ask because I thought he would be home by the time I got home. They said he was discharged at 11 am. What the hell.
And please, just for my sake right now, don't suggest "this is the time to leave" blah blah blah because all of you know I won't do it. >_>
My dad is fxcking insane. It hasn't even been a day yet and he's already taken off! He doesn't have his liscense so a friend must have picked him up, our car is still out there so he's not driving illegally. I didn't see him leave because I was at school, the only reason I know he's out of the hospital is because I called to ask because I thought he would be home by the time I got home. They said he was discharged at 11 am. What the hell.
And please, just for my sake right now, don't suggest "this is the time to leave" blah blah blah because all of you know I won't do it. >_>
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Marietta, GA
Posts: 1,453
The sad fact Jason is you just cant count on him right now. Its hard to come to that realization but its the truth - the sooner you can try to accept that the easier it will be. just try to not expect anything out of him - he is in addict overdrive right now. if you expect nothing then you wont be as dissapointed - if he comes around and its good you can be pleasantly surprised. i know this sounds very pessimistic but you need to protect your sanity.
Hey and please know that NO ONE here judges your choices. You gotta do what you gotta do.
Hey and please know that NO ONE here judges your choices. You gotta do what you gotta do.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 584
Hey Jason,
How ya doing? I guess dad is still out? Not telling you to leave, but it would be cool if you could find one of them meetings tonight. Just leave dad a note, where your at. It would be really cool if that is where dad is..........ok wishful thinking.
How ya doing? I guess dad is still out? Not telling you to leave, but it would be cool if you could find one of them meetings tonight. Just leave dad a note, where your at. It would be really cool if that is where dad is..........ok wishful thinking.
Clever Yak
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: ---
Posts: 4,360
Originally Posted by MyJoey 
Hey Jason,
How ya doing? I guess dad is still out? Not telling you to leave, but it would be cool if you could find one of them meetings tonight. Just leave dad a note, where your at. It would be really cool if that is where dad is..........ok wishful thinking.
How ya doing? I guess dad is still out? Not telling you to leave, but it would be cool if you could find one of them meetings tonight. Just leave dad a note, where your at. It would be really cool if that is where dad is..........ok wishful thinking.
I don't get this, what is his logic here? No, you know what, I don't want to get it, I don't want to try and understand his little crazy mind, I just want to be done with it. That's all I want.
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
I drove myself crazy for a time trying to understand the "logic" He's lost in the addiciton right now and being a couple days since the last fix, his addict brain is probably telling him 105 reasons getting high is the right thing to do even though he just got out of the hospital due to an overdose.
Jason one of the things that has seen me through a lot is forcing myself back to the moment whenever I'd catch myself projecting about what would happen next. As bad as the moment was, i could get through it to the next one...But when I started future-tripping, I was a goner.
So right now you want to stick it out but you want to be done with it...It does make sense to me - I get it...I'd suggest that minute by minute approach may be a good tool to try as you stick it out.
You can add Nj to your tour...make it a tri-state visit, lol Hang in there Jason
Jason one of the things that has seen me through a lot is forcing myself back to the moment whenever I'd catch myself projecting about what would happen next. As bad as the moment was, i could get through it to the next one...But when I started future-tripping, I was a goner.
So right now you want to stick it out but you want to be done with it...It does make sense to me - I get it...I'd suggest that minute by minute approach may be a good tool to try as you stick it out.
You can add Nj to your tour...make it a tri-state visit, lol Hang in there Jason
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 584
Hi Jason,
I did another post to you last night, not sure what happened to it. I hope today is a little brighter for you, hang in there.........only a short time left and you can put this behind you and move on with your life.
You really have so much to look forward to Jason, college will offer you so much more. You will have a chance to meet new people and make friends for life. You are so smart and have had to grow up so fast, I know you don't see it, but you can move on from this to become anything you like. Try to think of what you want for your future..........just keep it together. Check in and let us know your alright. Julie
I did another post to you last night, not sure what happened to it. I hope today is a little brighter for you, hang in there.........only a short time left and you can put this behind you and move on with your life.
You really have so much to look forward to Jason, college will offer you so much more. You will have a chance to meet new people and make friends for life. You are so smart and have had to grow up so fast, I know you don't see it, but you can move on from this to become anything you like. Try to think of what you want for your future..........just keep it together. Check in and let us know your alright. Julie
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Home of the Ravens-MD
Posts: 1,316
Jason, I'm so sorry that your angry and that you used. Tomorrow is a new day. You have lots of support at SR and lots of people who really do care. I know that getting to meetings may be hard for you and that you may feel uncomfortable about going, however I really feel you need some face to face support.
I know that you're hurting, while I can't say or do anything to take that hurt away.......I am praying for you.
Please keep posting, please remember that tomorrow is a brand new day. One moment at a time.
:praying
Chris
I know that you're hurting, while I can't say or do anything to take that hurt away.......I am praying for you.
Please keep posting, please remember that tomorrow is a brand new day. One moment at a time.
:praying
Chris
Member
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: limbo
Posts: 2,849
Jason
so sorry that your going thru a rough time............and sorry that you used
but this doesnt have to be the beginning of using again.it can be a slip
try to do the things you need to do to stop now...........find a meeting, read the big book....talk and share with people here
did you look up AA meetings?
you will be in my thoughts
so sorry that your going thru a rough time............and sorry that you used
but this doesnt have to be the beginning of using again.it can be a slip
try to do the things you need to do to stop now...........find a meeting, read the big book....talk and share with people here
did you look up AA meetings?
you will be in my thoughts
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 584
Hey Jason,
We all fall down babe, get back up dust yourself off and start over. I think if you really think about it, that didn't make things any better. Next time you feel the need to get away...........come to PA! (((Hugs Jason))) it will be ok.
We all fall down babe, get back up dust yourself off and start over. I think if you really think about it, that didn't make things any better. Next time you feel the need to get away...........come to PA! (((Hugs Jason))) it will be ok.
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