HeroinWidow

Still relatively new here, but in reading some of posts, I've come to realize this is a group with some members who are very good at "tough love". Man, oh, man...I just want to reach out and hug you guys! I read your words and I am amazed.

How I could have used your words when while AH was still alive...and I can still use them now, for they help me process and understand so much. So, while many think I'm no longer struggling with an addict...truth is, I am. I have so many unanswered questions and reading your words and witnessing your tough love to other members, really speaks volumes to me.

Thank you for speaking the truth, for being objective and honest.

I believe your words help us all.

SistersHelp

I couldn't agree more. I'm so appreciative of the people here who know how to call a spade a spade.

Serenity Bound

What you may not realize, is that it has taken many of us a very long time to get to this point. HW, I clearly remember saying after my first Naranon meeting, boy I sure wish I knew about this program a long time ago, and a very smart member telling me that I had not been ready b/4.

I'm still working at my program, still struggling with my own reactions, and character defects. But as they say...I'm a work in progress.

Between those at Naranon and SR, I may not always agree with what I hear, but I most certainly learn from it.

Seren

It does take time to get to that point....the point when you can feel comfortable setting your boundaries and enforcing them...when the A in your life criticizes and you have the power of your own convictions and self confidence to withstand that onslaught...when the realization that you are powerless over the addiction and disease actually brings you a certain amount of serenity.

I'm still working on that myself...HUGS! HG

imallright

So true! I am still spending quite a bit of time saying..."I wish I had....." BUT the truth is that I wasn't ready. So, today I will do what I am ready for and I will be grateful that I working on me and moving forward. Thanks!

Ann

I not only wasn't ready, at first, I didn't want to hear things that kept me in fear. It was only when I began to trust the fellowship, my friends in support, and most of all, God, that I could let go of the fear and walk in faith, even if it was blind faith sometimes.

I often have to break things into small pieces, and just handle whatever I can handle for the moment. I found that the world can run without me and that small pieces are all I need to do each day.

I still learn every day.

Hugs

InAnotherLife

I find this group amazing too. I always come back when I'm dealing with something slightly hard. I've found lately, I keep telling myself *For today, I'm going to enjoy the little things, not let things bother me, or get me down. We'll see what happens tomorrow*. My days have been really enjoyable this way, even while I'm coming off a rough break up (it's only been a week and a few days), and off an *almost* addiction myself. Everyday, I find a reason to smile, and I find I don't have to look too hard. This morning, I smiled because the jeans I used to squeeze myself into I couldn't even wear because they were so big you could see all of my butt if you stood behind me lol! Made having to see my xabf really easy b/c I felt good about my own successes.

Chino

I have a file on my computer where I copy and paste snippets from shares. It always seems that when I'm searching for some bit of wisdom, I can always find it here without even asking. Many people here have walked with me, guided me, and helped me find direction.

winnie12

I just wish i had found this site earlier. i can imagine what my post would have been like back when i was in full codie insanity - maybe all the wonderful things i was doing to fix AS's problems" (wanting everyone to tell me how great I am) or how mine was "different than all of yours" (denial). But I dont really believe in accidents anymore - I think I came here when i finally gave up the charade and was willing to hear the truth.

Everyone here has taught me that support doesnt always mean agreeing with me or coddling me. sometimes real support means telling me i am wrong. having people here treat me the way I need to be treating others has really helped me to find healthier ways to address the people in my life.

splendra

There are people who don't take too kindly to the tough love that is offered. Denial is a very hard thing to break for some.

I feel really bad when someone gets angry when tough love tactics are used and the person on the receiving end gets angry and leaves. I feel to say a prayer for them is the best I can do for them. Some do come back I guess because the words of wisdom just get too loud for them to deny any longer.

I am so sorry for your loss (((((Heroin Widow)))))). We have a grief forum here that may be of help to you. I feel that the hard part of your journey is just beginning and I hope you will lean on us for comfort. It is not your fault that this happened.