Should I allow my ex to visit his son?

Old 01-21-2009, 12:10 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
Member
 
MrsMagoo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Wilmington, NC
Posts: 932
Lots of good advice! Hugs and prayers to you. Welcome to SR!! Keep your baby safe and keep your ex away. The no contact order is a Godsend. If he comes around, you call the police. You can easily establish a paper-trail that will keep your ex from having anything but supervised visitation (if he even insists or pursues it). You don't have to do anything unless a court orders you to and I don't think he'll go there.
MrsMagoo is offline  
Old 01-21-2009, 12:52 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
remember to breathe
 
rahsue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: philadelphia pa
Posts: 1,280
my opinion is no, don't let him in your or your sons life. Go live a long and healthy life with your child. He would only stick around for as long as HE felt like it. It's what they do.

good luck
rahsue is offline  
Old 11-12-2009, 05:32 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Kitchener, Ontario
Posts: 32
I am going to Court. My papers are written, but the papers are messy and I do not know how to make them sound any better....hmmm I wonder if its better to let him drift?
merrygoround is offline  
Old 11-13-2009, 07:41 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
Member
 
Freedom1990's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Originally Posted by merrygoround View Post
It is 2 weeks later and he has called, despite a no contact order being in place, and says he wants to see his child or he will no longer pay child support. I don't need the money, I can do it without him, but I am concerned about what my child will think of me when he gets older. I am also fearful that if I do let him see him, my child may believe his lifestyle is ok and become an addict himself.
First of all, if you give an inch to an addict, they will give it their best to take a mile. I would highly recommend enforcing that no contact order by reporting his calls to you, else there will be little validity to it in the future. It's as worthless as the paper it's on if not enforced.

I have found that I need to make my decisions based on the present, not on what 'might' be years and years down the road. Fear-based decisions have always ended up being detrimental decisions for me.

My youngest daughter is much like Winnie shared about her son. My youngest daughter has abandonment issues. However, her father has been in AA over 33 years now (not drinking, but can't call it sober), and he made the conscious choice to be pretty much non-existent in her life. He wasn't there for his first set of kids while drinking, and hasn't been there for her while active in recovery.

I too never spoke badly about him in front of her and let her come to her own conclusions as she got older, and she knew she could always talk to me.

I would also encourage you to pursue the child support regardless of what he says. My youngest daughter's father had his tax returns intercepted for several years in the beginning because he was irresponsible on paying, and it was a paltry $110 a month. He finally started paying it on a regular basis.
Freedom1990 is offline  
Old 11-13-2009, 08:45 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Kitchener, Ontario
Posts: 32
The only way I believe to get supervised visitation would be to tell the Court that he is a drug dealer and outline alot of his bad traits...I am about to walk up to the Courthouse and hand these papers in...I cant believe that I could get myself into this mess with a drug dealer, I am embarrassed, humiliated, etc...
merrygoround is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:36 AM.