Not sure what to do
 

my 11 yo daughter came to me yesterday and said that while she was hanging out with her brother in his room yesterday that she saw something funny looking in the cymbols on his drum set, he didnt know she saw but freaked out because she was playing with the cymbols, made her get out, locked his door and she could hear him fiddling around with the cymbols. So obviously he has something in his room. She said they were little brown/black balls - she said it looked like her fish food - sounded like hash to me but i'm not streetwise enough anymore to know if it could be something else. If its hash it'll probably show up in his next drug test on its own and his PO will just lock him up. Problem solved.

But he's on house arrest so if he's gotten drugs in here it means he's either sneaking out or he's got people coming over here while i'm sleeping. Besides that I cannot have drugs around my 11 yo or in my home. If I confront him or search his room it'll turn into a huge violent drama and we'll be calling 911 today. If he did have something yesterday it could be gone already.

On one side I've only got two weeks to go till he's out of here - on the other side i dont really want him here and i cant have this going on in my home. So I'm at a loss of what to do. Just ignoring it seems like i'm letting him break my house rules and teaching my daughter a bad lesson - addressing it seems like i'm setting myself up for a huge drama with police and he's going to know it came from his sister - I try to protect her from his anger because if i dont she cant be free to talk to me and I dont want her to be the object of his rage. I hate telling PO when i havent seen it myself but logically I see no explanation besides he has illegal drugs in his possession.

If it were just the two of us I would just wait till he hung himself or i had proof of my own, but i have another child here so I cant just let him fall on his own out of fear that my daughter is hurt in the process. So crap once more this little punk has put me in a no-win situation.

Does anyone have any other ideas of what this might be besides hash? If i dont address this on my own I have to let his PO know so that they test him for whatever it may be. Best case scenario is that he fails a drug test on his own and PO locks him up. Then its his action - his consequence.

I thought that hash was a black gooey substance. Could be wrong no drug expert here but if it bothers you that much maybe you should call the PO and let her/him know what happened and they could schedule a home visit and conduct a search of his room.

I know that they can and will do that. I would say that from his reaction to your daughter he is guilty of something. And yes, because you have another child to consider I would go along with reporting it to the PO.

I think I recall reading in one of your posts, that you had left some money on a counter or somewhere, just to see what would happen and it disappeared. ( Appologies if I am confusing you with another poster).

Assuming he has access to a phone or the internet, he can probably arrange for home delivery, right outside his window.

I am thinking whatever it is ( hash?), it's been relocated or consumed. I think I would be inclined forgo the drama, given you are unlikely to find it.

If it were me, I probably would tell his PO, so that they could test for it, if they are inclined to do so. I think a urine test will show positive for 2-3 days from usage, at best. So it may not show, at all.

Perhaps the important thing is, you know where is head is at and where there is a will, there is a way.

Winnie, forgive me for asking, but I read so many posts over here and can't always remember, but does he have a drug of choice?

At any rate, he's darned guilty of something because of his reaction to your daughter.

Contact his PO to have him tested. I completely understand your concern about a confrontation.

Is there any way you can have a talk with your daughter away from him and explain you are taking care of it by calling the PO vs. a confrontation for her safety's sake, and that you are NOT condoning his behavior?

:ghug :ghug :ghug

Yes that was me outtolunch. I do think hash stays in the system a little longer - I may just tell his PO they need to step up the surveillance. They usually come twice a week to test him but no ones come by this weekend.

Yes your right - not that i thought he was in any way recovered or even working recovery but it does tell me where he is - he's the mayor of stupidville.

He would say his DOC is pot but once he got busted he couldnt smoke as much because it shows up so long on drug tests (i say couldnt but he did anyway) - he was regularly using lsd, mushrooms, coke, pain meds, otc, really anything he can get his hands on.
When he OD'd a couple of months ago it was on unisom - not trying to kill himself, just trying to get messed up on them. 20 will make you hallucinate for about 10-12 hours.

Okay, yes hash and pot will definitely stay in the system longer.

My oldest AD still tests a very faint positive for THC because she was a daily pot smoker for years and years. She's extremely overweight, so she's got plenty of fat tissue for THC to be stored in.

The hash my ex and I used to smoke was sticky but in small dark brown chunks. I'm not sure what else would look like fish food?

Polysubstance abuse.....any port in a storm....the fantasy of life without consequences

Hi Winnie,
So sorry to hear about the "fish food" on the cymbals. I have to admit that my first inclination would be to tell his PO. He would then have to face the consequences of his own actions....but I do see your point about your 11 yo daughter and the need to protect her from the wrath of her brother.

Even though my BFs children are adults, sometimes elaborate schemes are undertaken to protect the identity (for lack of a better description) of the daughter from the addict son.

My thoughts and prayers are with you!

HG

never heard that term ... so now we got dual-diagnosis (diabetes and addiction) with polysubstance abuse.

can this child get anymore complex???

It could be resin balls.... scraped out of bowls then rolled up since it's gummy. When I was a teenager that's what we did when we were broke.