The realities of abuse
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 2
The realities of abuse
When we read the stories and hear the tales of the terrible things that can happen after months of drug/alcohol abuse, we pray our loved ones will stop. Sometimes, they have no choice. My hubby suffered a massive heart attack last week, brought on by a very hard night of "partying". When faced with a young man ,clutching his chest, in the midst of the attack...the anger is overwhelming. After calling 911, he was sent to a great hospital where they proceeded to save his life.
I feel no guilt for being angry. His selfishness, lies, deceit and pain he caused others because he could not and would not stop his BS caught up with him in a forever life changing way.
I now face the challenges of recovery beside him as he needs me now more than ever. Before the attack I was a piece of cr*p who only tried to "queer his party" Now I'm the one who saved his life.
He was told, straight up that it was the cocaine and the booze that did him in. He tried to find other excuses, but the harsh reality and the truth is never fun.
Hopefully he will live the rest of his life in peace, and normalcy. Looking into his eyes, I saw the terror that hopefully he will never forget. He remembers the paddles on his chest, the pain, and the fear. I pray that this is his rock bottom.
I pray for all of you that this never happens to you and your loved ones who are abusing someday realize that it CAN happen and DOES happen.
His "party buddies" ( the ones that have the balls to contact me) are all scared sh*tless. So they should be.
I have read thru these forums endlessly. they have provided me with solace knowing it was not my fault. Knowing that rock bottom is the only way. Thanks for having a place where we can learn about this "dis-ease" and find ways to cope. Thanks to all who shared their stories..they help countless people understand what addiction is all about.
As we now move on to another stage of our lives, I take care of me. Do what needs doing, but always remembering the nightmare that was. I'll never forget, but I will learn to forgive.
Time will tell, one day at a time. God grant me the serenity....
I feel no guilt for being angry. His selfishness, lies, deceit and pain he caused others because he could not and would not stop his BS caught up with him in a forever life changing way.
I now face the challenges of recovery beside him as he needs me now more than ever. Before the attack I was a piece of cr*p who only tried to "queer his party" Now I'm the one who saved his life.
He was told, straight up that it was the cocaine and the booze that did him in. He tried to find other excuses, but the harsh reality and the truth is never fun.
Hopefully he will live the rest of his life in peace, and normalcy. Looking into his eyes, I saw the terror that hopefully he will never forget. He remembers the paddles on his chest, the pain, and the fear. I pray that this is his rock bottom.
I pray for all of you that this never happens to you and your loved ones who are abusing someday realize that it CAN happen and DOES happen.
His "party buddies" ( the ones that have the balls to contact me) are all scared sh*tless. So they should be.
I have read thru these forums endlessly. they have provided me with solace knowing it was not my fault. Knowing that rock bottom is the only way. Thanks for having a place where we can learn about this "dis-ease" and find ways to cope. Thanks to all who shared their stories..they help countless people understand what addiction is all about.
As we now move on to another stage of our lives, I take care of me. Do what needs doing, but always remembering the nightmare that was. I'll never forget, but I will learn to forgive.
Time will tell, one day at a time. God grant me the serenity....
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 1,054
Sorry to hear this LeeDee. It took me a long time to wake up too.
My AH has had Hep C (healed one yr after we married thanks to my herbal knowledge and taking care of him), institutions, chronic pancreatitis, STD, a heart attack scare, brain damage, high blood pressure.... all from drugs (all of this happened during his "so-called" times of recovery). So....he thinks he's invincible. In the end it just became me taking care of him. No love...he cheated...he still continues drugs. 2 of his children have him in their life a few hrs a week, one not at all. What a waste of life.
One time I had a dream I was standing next to his coffin...he was in the coffin.
Well....I became his worst nightmare when I demanded he quit, went to his Dr.'s told on him everytime. He still hates me when I bring up his drug use to people. Oh well, I'm not the quiet one anymore.
Hoping you get through this with flying colors!!!!
My AH has had Hep C (healed one yr after we married thanks to my herbal knowledge and taking care of him), institutions, chronic pancreatitis, STD, a heart attack scare, brain damage, high blood pressure.... all from drugs (all of this happened during his "so-called" times of recovery). So....he thinks he's invincible. In the end it just became me taking care of him. No love...he cheated...he still continues drugs. 2 of his children have him in their life a few hrs a week, one not at all. What a waste of life.
One time I had a dream I was standing next to his coffin...he was in the coffin.
Well....I became his worst nightmare when I demanded he quit, went to his Dr.'s told on him everytime. He still hates me when I bring up his drug use to people. Oh well, I'm not the quiet one anymore.
Hoping you get through this with flying colors!!!!
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Glad you joined us LeeDee and sorry for what you have been through.
I hope that was his bottom and he finds a better path. My son overdosed twice and kept using, it just didn't sink I guess.
It's so sad to watch someone we love destroy themselves. Addiction truly is a family disease affecting every person who loves the addict.
Hugs
I hope that was his bottom and he finds a better path. My son overdosed twice and kept using, it just didn't sink I guess.
It's so sad to watch someone we love destroy themselves. Addiction truly is a family disease affecting every person who loves the addict.
Hugs
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
LeeDee...I'm so sorry for what you have been through and hope that this truly is the bottom.
I am not sure what the bottom will be for the AS of my BF, but reading all the stories that people share on this forum are helping us to get through the drama, anxiety, hurt, and anger.
Thank you, too, for sharing. HG
I am not sure what the bottom will be for the AS of my BF, but reading all the stories that people share on this forum are helping us to get through the drama, anxiety, hurt, and anger.
Thank you, too, for sharing. HG
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
I'm sorry for what you have been going through. I think that watching how quickly my daughter went back out after an overdose helped me understand this is a disease. She was just 19 and yes it scared her...but the pull of the drug was even greater. For 3 months she tried to stay clean and kept slipping. Sadly she did not make it through the second time she used drugs that were tainted and came from the same source where just 3 months earlier she used and od'd.
I am so glad you recognize that you need to take care of you.
I am so glad you recognize that you need to take care of you.
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