Addict sister invading home

Old 01-09-2009, 04:20 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 3
Addict sister invading home

Hey, I need some advice/support or just an ear.
I am in recovery, have less than a year clean but I am getting there. Due to my addiction I lost my apartment and moved back home with my family (im 25). They let me come back on the condition that I was sober and would not use. I have stayed sober and haven't used. My sister is a crystal meth addict
and lives with her BF.

But sometimes she comes here, and my parents let her stay for as long as she wants. But she only comes here when she has no more drugs, money or food. She abuses everyone, swearing and insulting us, can't make noise while she sleeps for days on end, she makes huge messes, steals stuff, then my parents give her money, food and new clothes. She then feels better after 4 or 5 days of giving everyone abuse then leaves. The whole time she abusive, my parents treat her like a princess.

She does drugs here in the home and my parents know it and still allow her to stay. Needless to say, she jeapordizes my sobriety and she is treated WAY different than me. If I were to do what she does I would be homeless. I have been homeless because of being hard to get along with, but they let her stat no matter what kind of drug induced abuse she throws at people. It makes me resent her and my parents. They think they don't enable her but obviously they do, meanwhile they treat me with near no respect even though I do my best to be a good person. I cant take it anymore!!!!! This makes me so mad, frustratrated and the chaos is overwhelming.
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Old 01-09-2009, 04:44 PM
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outtolunch's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicago area
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First-off, welcome and congratulations on your clean time.

It's your parent's home which means they get to decide who gets to stay there and the conditions/lack there of. And yeah, life is just not fair, sometimes.

The way I see it, you can either adapt to the chaos on the homefront or take charge of your own situation and change your enviornment. Have you considered moving out and into a Sober Living enviornment until you are in a better position to get your own place?
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Old 01-09-2009, 05:09 PM
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get it, give it, grow in it
Spiritual Seeker's Avatar
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calif coast
Posts: 3,167
You state that you are not enabled to the degree that your sister is...perhaps that is why you are better capable of sobriety. Perhaps that is why you are a stronger person.
You are the blessed one, because you are learning a better way to conduct yourself.

Remember, part of recovery is learning to take our own inventory.

Are you working an AA/NA program with a sponsor?
Maybe you can offer to go with your parents to an al-anon mtg.

Working hard to get out of the insanity of your parent's home sounds like the best thing
for your own recovery.
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Old 01-09-2009, 08:15 PM
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I am trying to find a job so I can save money and move out. I see that as my only option, but there is no work around here except construction which I hate. But its the only work available. So I am not in a favourable position. Meanwhile, i have zero privacy and am depressed. I really dont know what i should do. Now that im sober I want to do positive things but I find STARTING them is quite hard.
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Old 01-09-2009, 08:39 PM
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Welcome! Grats on your sobriety. I think with sobriety at times comes this crystal clear clarity when you see others using--how selfish they are, how rude and insensitive they are.

Talk to your parents. Tell them what you've said to us. You don't have to be combative or defensive, just let them know what's going on. Tell them that she is abusing drugs, doing something illegal, putting your sobriety at risk. You don't have to get into the whole, "how can you tell me I have to stay clean when you let her do drugs here," just iterate how this makes you feel and what the risks are. Beg them. Plead with them. They should know. If you've told them before, tell them again. Be a squeaky wheel.

And go to all the meetings you can is my suggestion.

Have you thought about calling the police if she brings drugs into the house again? I don't know, just a thought.
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Old 01-10-2009, 12:11 AM
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Location: LA - Lower Alabama
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Are you in AA/NA? Have you heard of the serenity prayer?

It boils down to "don't stress over what you cannot control". You cannot control the fact that you are treated differently than your sister.

And as Spiritual Speaker says, you should feel blessed that they do not enable you the way they enable your sister. If they did you may not be sober right now.
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