littlebird77

The ABF is in jail, and needless to say clean for a few months now. His attitude is remarkable. He attends meetings EVERYDAY, goes to church, works out, and is trying to get into a rhythm so he can keep his sober habits a float when he leaves... Now what to I worry about now? Well in the times we are in today, I am CONSTANTLY worrying about loosing my job. As you all codies know, we are known at times to be workaholics, and this is all I do. I work late hours, weekends, I even work from home on holidays... Christmas I found myself working from home... They are on a firing spree at my job, and I am just so terrified of having to start someplace new. I feel like I am always getting the short end of the stick... This worry of my ABF has transposed to my work, and I really need to stop. I am very humble and have no ego about where I work. I try to tell myself if I loose my job, then so what, I will find another. But I am staring to think this habit I have to "worry-ism" is driving me CRAZY - advice?

winnie12

Worry is a joy-stealer. For me it was a sign of not having trust in my HP and his plan for me. I think for me i had to get to a desperate level before i stopped worrying and allowed myself to find the joy in life - I had to completely hit rock bottom, give in and allow HP to fix my problems through a few miracles. Yes I have been accused of being a workaholic but i see it more as the one thing i can do for myself to have control over my finances so its not something that is a problem for me - in fact if the economy wasnt so bad or if i got child support i'd be the first one to shorten my hours. But sometimes, when things are so crazy in my personal life this is a much needed distraction.

You obviously see that it is becoming a problem - an obsession for you. At some point you have to let go and let HP take over some things. It is so freeing when you do that.
If its becomming an addiction for you then start with the 12 steps.

I've looked at myself honestly and at times I realized I was addicted to worry, to drama, to excuses in my life - if i didnt blame someone or something else for my unhappiness then i would have to look to myself for the blame when i'm unhappy. When I forced myself to stop that I found out that peace is a much better option. I have a job today and worrying about tomorrow is just senseless - i refuse to let my imagination and "ifs" control my life and happiness. When the worry overwhelms you try to do something else. Whatever it is that relaxes you - whether that be going to meetings, giving yourself a day of pampering, doing crafts, curling up with a good book, seeing friends, whatever it is - just do it. I find that when i do that i actually do better at work and become even more invaluable to them.

bigsister1982

I still feel the way that you do sometimes, littlebird. When I first found out about my brother's issues, I was completely blindsided and hadn't realized how much my family had been hiding from me. From then on, I needed something to worry about because I felt that if I didn't, then that's when things would surprise me again. If I was already worried and assuming the worst, then I wouldn't be let down. I have to try really hard not to let myself feel this way today.

I wasn't going out, I wasn't letting myself have fun or make plans "just in case". I was extremely stressed out about my job and panicked every time my boss' door closed. I actually ended up changing jobs as I was so stressed out and I really wanted a fresh start.

Basically, I was assuming that I would always get the short end of the stick. If something went well, I felt that something should go bad to compensate. I was relieved (in a way) when something did because then things were "even". Wow, what a way to live.... writing it down makes me realize how silly it was. I was feeling sorry for myself because I was dwelling on the negative and turning good things into something bad. I can't say for sure but maybe this is what you are doing about your job.

There are little things that happen every day that are positive and I was purposely ignoring them, choosing just to focus on the bad. I hope that you can notice the good that is coming your way and remind yourself that life is a lot more than just worrying Like I said, when I need a breather, I ask myself if what I am thinking makes any sense at all, and usually, it doesn't and I can calm down a bit.

greeteachday

I'm a pretty analytical person, so once I analyzed worry and realized how counterproductive it was and that it truly did not change a thing, i found it a little easier to let it go. It's all about that powerlessness stuff for me.

I also strongly believe in the power of being positive in ones thinking. I find if I look for problems, they usually do find me and I get what I expected. If I focus on the positive, it seems to multiply.

Sometimes when i have had particularly troubling thoughts or fears, it has helped me to write them all out...to write also about the worst things that could happen as a result, and then what i could do about it. Then I rip it up or burn it. It really helps me to let it go.

Developing an attitude of gratitude has also helped me let go of worry and fear. When those thoughts come into my head, I force myself to think of two things I am grateful for for each worry I have.

I was most definitely a workaholic too. Working my recovery has helped me ease up. I am still conscientious and focused and really want to do it right, but I no longer obsess and work 70-80 hour weeks. The amazing thing...I don't find I am further behind in my work and my director sure doesn't feel like I am slacking. I think because I have a less stressed and more serene outlook now, I radiate a confidence I never felt before.

Hugs.