cessy68

Hi everyone, and thankyou for all your help lately.

This post is to say that I'm going to go out on a limb tonight.......

I told you in my post Sunday- of the troubles I have been having- and as expected, although I handled things- we are going downhill again in the 'swing of emotion' proccess.

My abf told me today he wanted to close his business. He is not doing well anymore, and wants to take the business elsewhere. Said he is going to do this today.

In addition- I can tell he is in one of his 'depressive states' - must not have many pills in his pocket.

I asked him what he wanted me to pick up at the market tonight - for x-mas eve dinner- he responded in a flat was saying he didn't care. I asked him to TRY and have a little holiday spirit- he said he has none anymore.

He dosen't seem to care about anything anymore- and I'm sick of 'trying'.

I understand he is upset about his business today- bla bla bla, but this is the 3rd xmas I will be going through the 'swing of emotion' or lack there of - with him.

I'm done.

I am going to call him, (in an hour or so) and tell him this......

I'm going to say- that regardless if tomorrow is xmas eve or not, if he chooses to be miserable, and depressed he can do it elsewhere. I plan to tell him that me and my kids do not need the added pressure of knowing that he is just 'going through the motions' of the holidays. I am going to tell him that although I love him, and prob. always will, I can be content and happy with or without him, and that the pain of watching him do this -over and over again, is just too hurtful to me at this point. Therefore, if he is not happy where he is, and can't enjoy the holidays with us, then no skin off my nose. I will enjoy the holidays - just me and the kids. I'm sick of being dragged down in my own home, because he is always unhappy.

What do you all think?

I just can't take always trying to make him be happy- it dosen't work, and I'm ready to just say goodbye.
Thanks,
Cessy

hello-kitty

I think that you should do what is right for you and your children. Your boyfriend can take care of himself. Give yourself the best christmas present ever - set boundaries and stick with them - and you'll have a happy new year too.

You can't make him happy. You can't make him anything than what he is. You are responsible for your own happiness.

Ann

Sounds like your recovery is shining to me. You hold the key to your happiness, not him. And you have the right to be happy, enjoy Christmas and find joy with your family.

You put it nicely, he has a choice, join in the happy day or sit this one out.

However this unfolds, I hope you and your family have a wonderful Christmas.

Hugs

marle

Last year at Christmas I invited my daughter to join us. The previous 3 Chrismases had been sad times because of her addiction. But then I decided to get back into the spirit of Christmas whether she made it here or not. I decorated and bought presents and just generally kept myself in a good mood. She did come and she was on her best behavior and even though it would take her another 5 months to want recovery, it will be one of my best Christmas memories because I did not let her addiction ruin things for me. I hope that you have a great Christmas, one that will be the beginning of good memories for you and your children. Hugs, Marle

BBD

Hi Cessy, I know emotions run high at this time of the year and maybe thats a good thing. Your children are important and should have a meery Xmas without any tension around. This is what they make memories of for years to come. It sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders and are now looking for the best for you and the kids. Good luck and stay strong. Smiles, Bonnie

hope213

merry christmas, maybe it is time for a change in the new year.what ever makes you happy go for it. you have the choice to make. you are shining. hugs & prayers,