a great holiday would be for him to leave....
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Reality......
Posts: 735
Your sooo strong Cess...Way to go with the credit card!!!! I love it....I told my ex today that the kids would be out of town next week so he NEEDS to come and get the rest of his stuff!~!!!!!
I was soooo proud of myself. I went there asked about some arrangements we had made previously. Did not cry. Did not sound all sad. Went there very cheery and excited. Even gave him the goodbye letter my 13 yr old wrote. I walked out with CLOSURE. I walked out knowing that he just let the best thing that ever walked into his life walk right out.
It will be a Merry Xmas and a happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
I was soooo proud of myself. I went there asked about some arrangements we had made previously. Did not cry. Did not sound all sad. Went there very cheery and excited. Even gave him the goodbye letter my 13 yr old wrote. I walked out with CLOSURE. I walked out knowing that he just let the best thing that ever walked into his life walk right out.
It will be a Merry Xmas and a happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 561
Stick to your guns now. Remember that you and your kids deserve happiness and peace. Have a happy holiday knowing you've made a decision and that you will be ready to put it into action when the time comes. All the best!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 3,335
When I have a plan in place and I am doing what I need to do for my personal growth and the happiness of my children, the actions or non-actions of my addict-ex have much less of an effect on me. It's when I stop doing what I am supposed to be doing to take care of myself and my children that his actions affect me.
Good luck. Once you learn how to truly detach emotionally from him, every thing will get easier.
I used to repeat the serenity prayer constantly. I would apply it to everything in my life. Eventually the concept (and serenity) took hold of me.
Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change.
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.
IF there was one thing I could add to that prayer, it would be patience. patience to stick with you plans and know that life is always up and down but with patience you can get through anything. Think about glaciers. With a little patience and time, they can change the face of the world. They are persistent.
Good luck. Once you learn how to truly detach emotionally from him, every thing will get easier.
I used to repeat the serenity prayer constantly. I would apply it to everything in my life. Eventually the concept (and serenity) took hold of me.
Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change.
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.
IF there was one thing I could add to that prayer, it would be patience. patience to stick with you plans and know that life is always up and down but with patience you can get through anything. Think about glaciers. With a little patience and time, they can change the face of the world. They are persistent.
I'm HOME!!!!!
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Hot flash city
Posts: 573
Sounds like you're getting it under control. As we all know addiction is progressive, and things can get a whole lot worse.
I just kicked my daughter's BF out on the 18th. I felt terrrible, cried for 4 days cause I felt so bad. A lot due to the fact that I know my daughter will follow very soon. And will try to take her son with her, and may succeed with it. I weakened a few days later and when he called offered to let him come back for Christmas, but he refused in no uncertain terms, then called back and left a foul message on my phone that I took to the police and had them put it on record. So now when I'm feeling bad about him being in the homeless shelter, I replay the message and feel justified. This man lived off me for 1 year...I can't believe I let it go on so long.
I regret not kicking his lazy ass out long ago. Talk about a user!!! And ungrateful....I can't believe my daughter thinks he hangs the sun every morning....can't keep a job...wants to hock her son's playstation cause I cut off her cell phone when he took it to the shelter with him. And she's bustin her ass to get back with him, and take her son with her.
Course she's just as ungrateful...sometimes l look at her like she's from another planet....I don't even recognize her anymore.
You'll know when you've had enuf...and let me tell you...he will land on his feet...trust me on that one!!!
Good luck with whatever you decisde, you definately have to be ready.
I just kicked my daughter's BF out on the 18th. I felt terrrible, cried for 4 days cause I felt so bad. A lot due to the fact that I know my daughter will follow very soon. And will try to take her son with her, and may succeed with it. I weakened a few days later and when he called offered to let him come back for Christmas, but he refused in no uncertain terms, then called back and left a foul message on my phone that I took to the police and had them put it on record. So now when I'm feeling bad about him being in the homeless shelter, I replay the message and feel justified. This man lived off me for 1 year...I can't believe I let it go on so long.
I regret not kicking his lazy ass out long ago. Talk about a user!!! And ungrateful....I can't believe my daughter thinks he hangs the sun every morning....can't keep a job...wants to hock her son's playstation cause I cut off her cell phone when he took it to the shelter with him. And she's bustin her ass to get back with him, and take her son with her.
Course she's just as ungrateful...sometimes l look at her like she's from another planet....I don't even recognize her anymore.
You'll know when you've had enuf...and let me tell you...he will land on his feet...trust me on that one!!!
Good luck with whatever you decisde, you definately have to be ready.
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