AH Really Gone......Maybe
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Lost in Ca
Posts: 253
AH Really Gone......Maybe
Good Morning all!
Well this last Friday my AH came home at 7am which I found to be bizarre becauswe he had to be at work at 5 am. He stated on Thuirsday he was going to stay out because of his company Christmas party (YEAH RIGHT). Well anyway, I usually leave for work between 6:15-6:45. But, on Friday's I can leave later because less traffic on the freeway. Last FRiday I decided to take my daughter to school. I didn't think anything of the fact that he came home at 7 am because he always goes out on binges. Well when I was leaving my daughters school I saw his CW "invisible girlfriend" that he doesn't claim lurking around the park next to my daughters school. I was furious becase first I have a restaining order on her based on her previous activities and it alaso protects my children and second "Was he planning on taking her to my home?". What the **** was he thinking? I turned back down my street and cornered him in and told him how dare he bring his crack ***** to my house. He said he didn't bring her but, she had been following him for two days.
I have told him in the past that it was best that he leaves because it wasn't a good thing for my children to see but, in Cali I had no grounds to put him out of our home. The courts told me unless he was physically violent then I had no rights. He has never really been physically or verbally abusive. Just mentally and emotionally and unfortunately the courts don't view that as a crime. Well I called the sheriff's out to arrest and believe me it is a process. She didn't get arrested yet but, its coming. Well I had to take the day off of work to get things right and while I was there I filed for legal seperation. I was really hurt but, in the mist of being hurt I accepted his call on my cell phone and boy did I let him have it for the first time in 9 months since he has been addicted. I told him he needed to get his **** and get the ---- out. I usually dont use this type of language but, this time I did and I was blatant about it. I told him about all the hurt he has caused me and the kids and that I wasn't taking it anymore. At first I wasn't sure he was an addict but, now I know he is. I thought well maybe he's just a really badd cheater
Well he came home on SAturday morning at 4 am to get ready for work. He told me so you want me to get my **** okay well I will . He asked me why I had talked to him this way. I told him to figure it out. He left with no clothes of course. He called later that day and acted like he never said anything. He stated that he would be home later. Then, around 10 pm I got a text that said he loves me but he was in too deep. What does this mean. I just ignored it and went to sleep. This nuturer in me just wanted to get in my car and go SAVE HIM. which we all know can't be done by me. Then on Sunday I decided to stop sitting around and I took the kids out to lunch and to get all of their Christmas decorations. I was gone for approx. 6 hrs. When we got home I found all of his dirty clothes missing, three pair of shoes, his clippers, and one bottle of cologne. I texted him and said he could have at lease said bye to the kids. He texted back and said that he wanted to make it easier for us. Wow the first unselfish thing he has done in 9 months. But then the next text said You know I want to be there with you guys TRUST ME! Now here we go again. Well needless to say I ignored the next few texts. He didn't come home last night. This morning he texted and said are you going to work this morning, I said NO Why. He didnt text back so I figured that he was going to try to take her to out house because they usually sleep in the car. I can't wait until I can offically change the locks so that I can have a piece of mind. I let him know he better not bring her to our home because the sheriffs are watching and they really are........ But, I told a little whote lie I am at work. I am not going to let him jeopardize my future and all my years of working hard at school. You see I'm an adult and I am really hurt from the situation but, now I have to somewhat beat him at his own game so that I won't be disrespected in the process.My kids come first (2 and 8 years old).I don't know how I've been soooooo strong in all of this but, I know God is going to find a way for me. I only pray that he can help to guided my husband and other addicts in the right direction before it's too late. If my husband came to me tomorrow and asked for help I would tell him I was ready to help yesterday what took you so long
Prayer for me and my family as I will do the same for you!!!!!
Well this last Friday my AH came home at 7am which I found to be bizarre becauswe he had to be at work at 5 am. He stated on Thuirsday he was going to stay out because of his company Christmas party (YEAH RIGHT). Well anyway, I usually leave for work between 6:15-6:45. But, on Friday's I can leave later because less traffic on the freeway. Last FRiday I decided to take my daughter to school. I didn't think anything of the fact that he came home at 7 am because he always goes out on binges. Well when I was leaving my daughters school I saw his CW "invisible girlfriend" that he doesn't claim lurking around the park next to my daughters school. I was furious becase first I have a restaining order on her based on her previous activities and it alaso protects my children and second "Was he planning on taking her to my home?". What the **** was he thinking? I turned back down my street and cornered him in and told him how dare he bring his crack ***** to my house. He said he didn't bring her but, she had been following him for two days.
I have told him in the past that it was best that he leaves because it wasn't a good thing for my children to see but, in Cali I had no grounds to put him out of our home. The courts told me unless he was physically violent then I had no rights. He has never really been physically or verbally abusive. Just mentally and emotionally and unfortunately the courts don't view that as a crime. Well I called the sheriff's out to arrest and believe me it is a process. She didn't get arrested yet but, its coming. Well I had to take the day off of work to get things right and while I was there I filed for legal seperation. I was really hurt but, in the mist of being hurt I accepted his call on my cell phone and boy did I let him have it for the first time in 9 months since he has been addicted. I told him he needed to get his **** and get the ---- out. I usually dont use this type of language but, this time I did and I was blatant about it. I told him about all the hurt he has caused me and the kids and that I wasn't taking it anymore. At first I wasn't sure he was an addict but, now I know he is. I thought well maybe he's just a really badd cheater
Well he came home on SAturday morning at 4 am to get ready for work. He told me so you want me to get my **** okay well I will . He asked me why I had talked to him this way. I told him to figure it out. He left with no clothes of course. He called later that day and acted like he never said anything. He stated that he would be home later. Then, around 10 pm I got a text that said he loves me but he was in too deep. What does this mean. I just ignored it and went to sleep. This nuturer in me just wanted to get in my car and go SAVE HIM. which we all know can't be done by me. Then on Sunday I decided to stop sitting around and I took the kids out to lunch and to get all of their Christmas decorations. I was gone for approx. 6 hrs. When we got home I found all of his dirty clothes missing, three pair of shoes, his clippers, and one bottle of cologne. I texted him and said he could have at lease said bye to the kids. He texted back and said that he wanted to make it easier for us. Wow the first unselfish thing he has done in 9 months. But then the next text said You know I want to be there with you guys TRUST ME! Now here we go again. Well needless to say I ignored the next few texts. He didn't come home last night. This morning he texted and said are you going to work this morning, I said NO Why. He didnt text back so I figured that he was going to try to take her to out house because they usually sleep in the car. I can't wait until I can offically change the locks so that I can have a piece of mind. I let him know he better not bring her to our home because the sheriffs are watching and they really are........ But, I told a little whote lie I am at work. I am not going to let him jeopardize my future and all my years of working hard at school. You see I'm an adult and I am really hurt from the situation but, now I have to somewhat beat him at his own game so that I won't be disrespected in the process.My kids come first (2 and 8 years old).I don't know how I've been soooooo strong in all of this but, I know God is going to find a way for me. I only pray that he can help to guided my husband and other addicts in the right direction before it's too late. If my husband came to me tomorrow and asked for help I would tell him I was ready to help yesterday what took you so long
Prayer for me and my family as I will do the same for you!!!!!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Reality......
Posts: 735
Praying for you and your family. Protection of you kids 1st is your number one priority. The more you seperate yourself from him and his behavior the easier it will be to deal with. Good luck to you, keep us posted on how you are doing....
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 1,287
Originally Posted by UNHAPPY777 
Okay now I just got a text of him trying to go pick my kids up. I told him no not until we get things in order. Mannnnnnn will this ever end........
(((Hugs)))
cynical one had some good ideas.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Lost in Ca
Posts: 253
Wow he came by last night and it all hit the fan. He started saying bizarre stuff and he said he couldnt get an apartment because he owes 700 in child support. Now he has a credit score of over 700 and make over 80k a year. I don't think they would hold 700 against him. I told him just go get caught up and pay the 700 dollars. He said no he wanted me to keep allthe money like I had in the past. Isn't that sooo silly he is letting 700 keep him from having a roof over his head. He has 700 to pay the outstanding amount. Well, he rung the doorbell instead of using his key. He tried to come in without speaking to me but, I really gave it to him. Then he played with the kids for about 15 minutes and then he nodded out. I asked why he was nodding he said he was tired and then asked for something to eat. He also asked why I thought he was nodding I didn't even feed in to the statement.
I asked later if he could just release me tell me he didn't love me, tell me he really wanted to be out he said he couldn't say it. Well then he ended up leaving and he texted me and said that he loves me but, he doesn't love himself right now. He said he would openup to me in time. Oh did I mention he called his mother and said he was leaving me because I didnt respect him!!!!!!!!! WOW what a slap in the face. He goes missing for days and doesn't return my calls and now I'm at fault. Thankfully his mom didn't feed into him. He told her that he was completely done with the marriage..... but he told me that he doesn't think it's over what should I believe. I think he moved into a motel with the girl. He still hasn't admitted to the drugs but, he told me he wasn't willing to stop coming in after 2 in the morning so that means he's not trying to stop doing the drugs.... He only took a few clothing items but, he said that I can change the locks. I am sooo confused right now.
He has texted me more in the last 3 day than he has in the last 9 months. What am I suppose to believe? HELP!!! I CRIED MYSELF TO SLEEP LAST NIGHT
I asked later if he could just release me tell me he didn't love me, tell me he really wanted to be out he said he couldn't say it. Well then he ended up leaving and he texted me and said that he loves me but, he doesn't love himself right now. He said he would openup to me in time. Oh did I mention he called his mother and said he was leaving me because I didnt respect him!!!!!!!!! WOW what a slap in the face. He goes missing for days and doesn't return my calls and now I'm at fault. Thankfully his mom didn't feed into him. He told her that he was completely done with the marriage..... but he told me that he doesn't think it's over what should I believe. I think he moved into a motel with the girl. He still hasn't admitted to the drugs but, he told me he wasn't willing to stop coming in after 2 in the morning so that means he's not trying to stop doing the drugs.... He only took a few clothing items but, he said that I can change the locks. I am sooo confused right now.
He has texted me more in the last 3 day than he has in the last 9 months. What am I suppose to believe? HELP!!! I CRIED MYSELF TO SLEEP LAST NIGHT
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 3,335
Unhappy. You are dealing with a drug addict. His behavior will never be normal or understandable. From my experience with cocaine addicts and with cocaine, he is exhibiting signs of heavy use and psychosis - the nodding off, the lying, the weird stories, the going missing for days, the texting.
Let go and let God - for now at least. It's tearing you apart and it can't be good for your kids. Have you changed the locks yet?
Cynical ones post is dead on. But I am confused, if you have a restraining order in place, WHY are you letting him into your house? Please check with the police as now your restraining order maybe null and void.
Let go and let God - for now at least. It's tearing you apart and it can't be good for your kids. Have you changed the locks yet?
Cynical ones post is dead on. But I am confused, if you have a restraining order in place, WHY are you letting him into your house? Please check with the police as now your restraining order maybe null and void.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Lost in Ca
Posts: 253
I'm sorry the restraining order is on the girl not my husband. Her bizarre behaviors and disrespect to my home. My husband has never been physical or threatened to become physical so the polica said I can't get a restaining order or an order to kick out. Because of this CALI IS A COMMUNITY PROPERTY STATE.....I don't have ground to kick him out. But, since he decided to leave on his own I can change the locks.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 3,335
I was looking for the Thank You button but I can't find it. ;-) Hang in there. Your situation isn't as strange as you think. His bizarre unpredictable behavior is very typical for a coke/crack addict. That's why it is so wonderful you found this site - so you can educate yourself and know that you are not alone.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Lost in Ca
Posts: 253
My AH said that he was coming over at 6pm to go shhopping for the kids for Christmas. Good thing I didn't tell them because so far he's a noooo show as usually. I guess he had to stop to get his fix. Wow I guess putting out this liar was the best thing!!!!!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
