katie44

I know in my heart I have done the right thing, but I feel horrible about this. They finally arrested my son today for stealing my vehicle and the credit card fraud. He goes up for bail tomorrow, his dad and I will not be there.
This is the hardest thing I have ever done, but I know if I dont do this it will happen again and again. He phoned me earlier today and knew he was going to be arrested devestated of course. His first time in jail.
Why does doing the right thing hurt so bad? I can not allow his chaos in my life anylonger. He was such a beautiful kind person before this drug hijacked his brain. He is not a tough kid, soft spoken dont think he will like jail at all.
I just need some reassurance that I have done the right thing.

winnie12

i've had my son arrested several times - it hurt more than anything i've ever done - no one but another parent who has had to reach these desperate levels could understand. But HE was the one who broke the law. Your child has NO regard for you or he wouldnt have stollen your car. In the future he may think twice before taking advantage of his parents. They prey on us because they dont think we will ever do anything - now your son knows differently. Sounds like the time in jail may be the best thing you could ever do for him (notice i said FOR him and not TO him). His crimes put him in jail not you. You are the victim of the crime.

hello-kitty

You have done the right thing ;-)

If he doesn't like jail, he will make the choice to not to go back. He may be angry for a little while but take a wait and see on this. He's safer in jail than out.

Tough love.

JMFburns

I wish that my son (28 yrs old) would end up in jail now so that I could do the right thing this time (didn't the first time) and not bail him out. I think that is also my desire to not have to do the right thing myself, not have to say "no" and mean it, not have to turn my back on him, not have to cut off contact with him, it is my desire to have it done for me "the easy way" if jail could be considered "the easy way" My son was sensitive and kind, caring and funny, also I wonder how he'd fair there.

You're doing the right thing and congratulations for doing it. Congratulations for posting here when you need some support and strength.

Good luck! I've been repeating "thy will be done" lately. Seems to help.
Joan

HurtingDad

Tough move but the right one. Hopefully this might scare him straight. Maybe he might even be offered the option of a drug-rehab program rather than jail.

Prayers for you and your family.

mooselips

Katie,
Hiya sweetie...IMO, the reason it hurts us so bad is because we feel their pain cause we're their parents. I can still remember my sons scraping their knees and it hurt me, almost as much as it hurt them. Yeah, it hurts, but we'll get over it.


But you are doing the right thing. You are helping him by making him realize there are consequences to his actions.
Sometimes we have to love them enough to do the right thing.


He's warm, safe, dry, being fed, has a roof over his head, and not using. It really is a good thing.

3 hots and a cot.

Hugs from one mom to another......

marle

Sending my thoughts and prayers to you Katie. Hugs, Marle

sleepygoat

Yes, you did do the right thing. They really seem to think its ok to steel from us parents, cover it up, lie about it, and do it again. Then they are shocked and incensed when we do something about it. I hope the jail experience moves your son closer to recovery. But even if it does not, it will let him know its not OK to treat mom like dog doodoo.

Impurrfect

((((Katie))))

Yes, you did the right thing. We A's don't usually stop what we're doing until we're faced with some pretty harsh consequences.

You didn't do this to him...he did it to himself.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

katie44

Thankyou for your posting's, I wish in Ontario they had the choice to enter a drug rehab or jail unfortunately this is not the case. It only applies to under 18 years of age. The jails are so over populated that they get a slap on the wrist. Same with the Ministry funded Rehabs, could take 6 - 1 year to get in. The private rehabs always have opening's but they are very expensive. How sad " money". I talked to the arresting officer this morning she said he turned himself in. Said he looked very scared and nervous, he also told the truth however he would not give the name of who was with him when he took the vehicle. Feeling alot better today, I know he is safe and your right next time he thinks about ripping of "mom" he will face the consequences.

Freedom1990

Please know that yes, you did do the right thing.

My parents did the best with what they had at the time, but they almost loved me to death, literally.

Think about that the next time you are having doubts! :ghug :ghug

SerenityGirl

Katie, my heart goes out to you. My son is still drinking, he's going to be 39. He has always had too many breaks along the way,not just from me but others too. He would do good for awhile then back drinking again, so he has to really hit bottom to finally take it serious. (hugs)