Kimm992

For those that don't know - my mom is addicted to prescription painkillers and heroin.

I haven't spoken to her since August when she came to my house and stole from me. She lives with my aunt (who is an alcoholic).

Well I guess her and my aunt got into an argument and my aunt said something along the lines of, "Your own daughter even told me she wants nothing to do with you" - which is true.

So for the last couple of days she is calling my work constantly and when I answer she just starts screaming...so I just hang up immediately without saying anything.

She then calls my cell phone and leaves me horrible messages saying, "You are the worst daughter I could imagine, I want nothing to do with you or your "f"ing wedding and you can go straight to hell"

She's left me 3 messages like this in the last 2 days.

Then last night at about 10pm she called from a private number and when I answered she said, "I hate your "f"ing guts" and then hung up on me.

I just can't take this anymore. When she says these things to me I am SO hurt inside. I don't know how much more of this I can handle...I cried myself to sleep last night thinking over and over about how she said, "I hate your "f"ing guts". How does a mother say that to her child??

I am at a loss about how to completely remove her from my life...she just keeps calling and calling just to hurt me.

Impurrfect

(((Kimmy)))

aww, sweetie, I'm so sorry. I know it probably won't make you feel any better, but she is taking out her anger at herself on you. She doesn't hate you...she hates herself and her life. I know, because I'm a recovering addict, and I know how much I hated myself.

This doesn't excuse her behavior, and she's not doing it on purpose, she just doesn't know how to deal with her anger any other way. In all honesty, we A's tend to lash out the most to the people we love the most. It's wrong, and it causes a lot of pain, but I think we do it because we think they are the people who will always love us, no matter what. Unfortunately, some A's destroy that love in the process.

I'm sorry you're going through this.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

katie44

Amy is right she is saying these things out of hatred for herself. Could you not call block her no#, I know she is calling from a private number but at least she wont get through calling from her own phone. I know it hurts just hang up on her when she calls and remember your mother is sick. These are not calls from a sane parent, they are calls from someone who's brain is not thinking straight. I am so sorry you have to go through this. Keep coming back here and talking to people on this site. It is wonderful support.

TTOSBT

Oh Kimm, I am so sorry for you. But if you can, pray for her. She is so lost and so alone and unhappy. Can you imagine how she is going to feel about herself if she ever gets sober enough to face the fact that she has said these things? I truly pity her because she can never take back the pain and anguish she has caused you. Just remember that you are okay and this has NOTHING to do with you. You are a wonderful beautiful person who happens to have an addict for a parent. It is horrific what this disease does to our loved ones but you did not cause it!

Chino

Block her phone number from your cell and block private numbers from your home phone. If a friend has a private number and wants to call you, they only have to push 3 buttons on their phones to display the number to you.

I'm sorry you're hurting and you have my prayers for serenity.

bluebelle

Wow, this sounds exactly like my mom! She repeatedly called me to tell me how awful I am. If I didn't answer the phone, she'd leave these horrible messages for me. The messages were completely awful!!! She said things like, "At least I didn't throw you in the dumpster as a baby." She said all kinds of hateful things, and she would call over and over again.

In our case, she was also acting violently toward me and other people. We had to call the police on her several times, and we were able to get her committed to a psychiatric facility for 3 weeks. I don't know that she's any better, but she seems to understand that I won't put up with her bad behavior. I don't see her at all, and I rarely talk to her on the phone. I have no idea when she's going to start again.

I'm sorry you're going through this. I know how really awful it is. My mom has been on drugs since the 60's, so there's not much left of her now. Just remember that her comments are not personal. You haven't done anything to deserve these comments. It isn't your fault. She's just a very unhappy person, and she's lashing out at those close to her.

cessy68

I am sooooo sorry that you are dealing with that from you mother. Unfortunatly when a mother daughter relationship is in this kind of disfunction- it is close to a death experience. (clinically any therapist will tell you that)

The need for bond between a mother / daughter is critical... it will take a lot of self love, and help, support, from others (and I suggest a proffessional therapist) for you to heal.

As a mom myself, I couldn't imagine hurting any of my children in such a way, if anything, I cuddle them (and they are older now!! 19,17,&12) and i smother them with hugs and kissess,,,, as much as possible.- with that being said, Your mom is just not thinking clearly..... it must absolutly hurt you to the core.

I pray for you, I pray for the little girl that dosen't understand her moms addiction, and just wants to be loved and held. I pray that you get help from a proffessional - I can't imagine the pain you must be in.

Please let us know how you are doing, keep venting/writing, listening , and reaching out to those who can give you the love and support that you will need. You must be a strong girl to be here writing- keep your chin up and God bless you.
Cessy

hello-kitty

I think that the children of addicts are hurt the worst. I really do. You should not put up with abuse from your mother. As hard as it is, consider changing your phone number.

shugabooga

the three "C's"

you didn't Cause it
you can't Control it
you can't Cure it

i can only imagine the pain you must feel, and with a wedding upcoming?

do not answer any phone calls from her. do not answer any numbers you do not recognize. let your voice mail box on your cell phone fill up so that she can't leave messages, or just deactivate your voice mail box on your cell phone if you can figure out how. at work, ask if your extension can be changed. that's kind of tricky. i needed to do that at work because of an ex BF but wasn't able to do it. but you can try. as far as your home phone, same thing: do not answer.

i hope your mom finds the help she needs to get well. and i hope you find peace and serenity and a have a joyous wedding. when is the big day?