So frustrated!!!!!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: lancaster, PA
Posts: 852
You are keeping your head above water, after all, YOU are here. YOU are doing something to gain insight and support.
You are a mom, you are a woman- no one is stronger than us! You can and will become whole again, (at least i have faith in ya') - and the more you buy into the amazing support and love that you need, and the less you buy into the negative, the stronger you will be.
I know it's hard sweetheart, (as you will see in my post next) but you can survive this loss in your life and more importantly your heart. Heartaches are the worst kind, no one can see them, and there is no timetable as to when they will heal.
I KNOW how bad it is to miss the man you love.......
Cessy
You are a mom, you are a woman- no one is stronger than us! You can and will become whole again, (at least i have faith in ya') - and the more you buy into the amazing support and love that you need, and the less you buy into the negative, the stronger you will be.
I know it's hard sweetheart, (as you will see in my post next) but you can survive this loss in your life and more importantly your heart. Heartaches are the worst kind, no one can see them, and there is no timetable as to when they will heal.
I KNOW how bad it is to miss the man you love.......
Cessy
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Midlands
Posts: 201
Does he realise his BS is really gettin to you? Maybe the more he knows it bothers you the more he does it. Unhappy people sometimes seem to love makin other people feel worse to make themselves feel better.
It reminds me so much about things my Xabf did. He'd pick on tiny things about me and blow them up to such an extent i would feel bad about myself. You're certainly not the only one copin with this sort of behaviour. You're not alone.
Remember it's not your fault at all. LET him have his tantrums, one day he'll realise.
Here for you.
~Limiya~
It reminds me so much about things my Xabf did. He'd pick on tiny things about me and blow them up to such an extent i would feel bad about myself. You're certainly not the only one copin with this sort of behaviour. You're not alone.
Remember it's not your fault at all. LET him have his tantrums, one day he'll realise.
Here for you.
~Limiya~
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Marietta, GA
Posts: 1,453
One thing that i hear is that he is still expecting you to be the fixer of everything. If the baby needs something from the doc then Dad can call the doc - he's a parent too. It takes him just as much time to contact you and tell you to do it as it would to just call himself. If the snow pants are lost and he cant take the baby out then he can purchase some new snow pants.
I've dealt with a lot of this both from my son and his dad - my son would stay at this dad's for a few days and they would call me to get his prescriptions filled - i would tell them the pharmacy number was on the prescription boxes they had - they still couldnt figure out how to get them. Then it would be that his Dad didnt have the co-pays to purchase meds. So Dad is the one he wants to live with but Dad cant take care of him - hmmm, interesting. He would bring home his clothes wanting me to wash and then leave again the next day with a bag full of clean clothes (of course i did make him wash his own clothes - i'm not a laundry service). If they cant handle these little but important tasks and I have to do it for them, then maybe my son shouldnt be staying at his dad's. He would even call me and ask me for lunch money while staying at his dad's -come on - 2.00 for lunch at school - if the man cant pay that then what in the world are they both thinking. He's never given me a dime of child support - the least he can do is pay for a school lunch. I actually found it pretty humerous but made the rule that if he wants to stay with his dad then he had to have his dad pay for whatever his expenses were while he was there. Suddenly, he doesnt want to stay with his dad and his dad is saying my son cant stay there for more then a day or two.
Now that my son is back in jail they both want me to tell them what is going on with the court - what they are going to do. I tell them I dont know, give them his PO's phone number and tell them to call.
I've dealt with a lot of this both from my son and his dad - my son would stay at this dad's for a few days and they would call me to get his prescriptions filled - i would tell them the pharmacy number was on the prescription boxes they had - they still couldnt figure out how to get them. Then it would be that his Dad didnt have the co-pays to purchase meds. So Dad is the one he wants to live with but Dad cant take care of him - hmmm, interesting. He would bring home his clothes wanting me to wash and then leave again the next day with a bag full of clean clothes (of course i did make him wash his own clothes - i'm not a laundry service). If they cant handle these little but important tasks and I have to do it for them, then maybe my son shouldnt be staying at his dad's. He would even call me and ask me for lunch money while staying at his dad's -come on - 2.00 for lunch at school - if the man cant pay that then what in the world are they both thinking. He's never given me a dime of child support - the least he can do is pay for a school lunch. I actually found it pretty humerous but made the rule that if he wants to stay with his dad then he had to have his dad pay for whatever his expenses were while he was there. Suddenly, he doesnt want to stay with his dad and his dad is saying my son cant stay there for more then a day or two.
Now that my son is back in jail they both want me to tell them what is going on with the court - what they are going to do. I tell them I dont know, give them his PO's phone number and tell them to call.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Reality......
Posts: 735
I fool myself everyday. I fool myself into believing that things are getting better and then BAM it hits again. I guess its easier to walk in denial then to walk in the pain of truth and reality.....
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 3,335
Cassie, you know who is really suffering? Your poor daughter who is being left with a barely functioning parent. I wouldn't let him be responsible for my child, especially if my child was sick (pink eye) or required a nebulizer to breath.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Ma
Posts: 320
Cass I understand about the snow pants. Ex-abf called me from court because he wanted shampoo from my house (which was paid for by me and only had about 1 wash worth in the bottle!) he was just calling cause he knew it would get to me. Well I kept my promise and called the police and he could have been arrested (but the cop didn't cause technically the restraining order hadn't been served yet) but the cop served him the restraining order instead and went over it with him. He just wanted to try and see me f2f to manipulate me some more. I know now to just hang up and call the police. Good luck and stay strong.
I know because u have a child with him it is much harder for you.
I know because u have a child with him it is much harder for you.
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