Just out of curiosity.... a question about custody
 

Suppose I were to leave my husband and take our 3-year old with me. (Or, more likely scenario: We stay in the house, and I kick him out.) In any case, how do custody agreements get handled when one parent is not reliably sober? I have no knowledge about stuff like this whatsoever. What do people do before a divorce is legally finalized? How do people handle it on their own in those cases to ensure that their kids are safe and that the other parent isn't driving under the influence or something reckless like that?

I would STRONGLY advise you to seek legal counsel but...I definitely made sure anything written up and that my lawyer knew all about HIS disease....HIS actions. I made it VERY CLEAR it would ONLY be supervised visitation!!!! Mine ended up like this.....every other weekend at MY house with myself or another adult I approved of supervising. As it turned out, he showed up two whole times......when she was a little baby. She's 4 1/2 now. BUT then again I have no idea about anything in other states....I'm in Texas.

I can't give you any advice about the divorce side of things, but I am in the ongoing process of going through legal proceedings to take custody of my twelve year old niece from my sister who is an addict.

My situation is probably more difficult than yours since I am not her natural mother but I can tell you from my experience that the process takes a lot of time! However, in spite of its frustrations, the good thing is that I am finding out that the courts really don't seem to send kids to live with parents who aren't looking after them properly.

All the best in your situation. I hope it goes well for you and for your kids.