Update on my brother
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: rochester NH
Posts: 109
Update on my brother
Last post was letting you all know he got put in jail to be held until his next court date for a warrant which was today. The warrant was for a missed surrender hearing do to soaking wet court clothes because he was living on the street and it rained and the clothes were in the bush. Anyway, he got 6 months with time served, so he will do 4 months for this case. I hate that he will be away for the holidays but he will be clean and thats all that matters at this point. I got a really nice letter from him last night thanking me for everything ive ever done for him and letting him know how much i love him, it made me feel good. Next court date is Jan 6th he could get time for this one too, him and a friend had some pot and i guess they are saying its in a school zone, so if they cant get that charge reduced he will do 2 yrs..uggh but he knows he did it, he has to pay and hes ok with that now that hes not on heroin anymore! I love him, and i love all of you that have helped me understand addiction!
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Nichole)))
I think only someone who loves an addict can understand how we can be grateful when someone is in jail. We know they are off the streets, warm, safe, clean, and being fed.
I'm glad he wrote you that letter, and I know it made you feel better.
Jail isn't the BEST place to be, but for me, it was the beginning of my recovery, so let's pray it is for him, too.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
I think only someone who loves an addict can understand how we can be grateful when someone is in jail. We know they are off the streets, warm, safe, clean, and being fed.
I'm glad he wrote you that letter, and I know it made you feel better.
Jail isn't the BEST place to be, but for me, it was the beginning of my recovery, so let's pray it is for him, too.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: rochester NH
Posts: 109
Thank you Amy! The thing with him is he was doing SO good SO SO good, at his halfway house almost 4 months clean, but he was seeing a girl he met at detox and then they relapsed, both got kicked out of their programs and he was on the street and she wasnt......I wanted him to come here with me but she was there so he stayed on the street started hanging around with her connections and boom he went into it full force again, then went back into detox did a 30 day program, now jail, been since oct 7th since he last used, is it true the longer you go without using the less the cravings will be>??? And yes the letter made me feel so good! He is my best friend and i will do anything for him as long as he is clean!
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
It is true, that the longer you are away from it the cravings are less. However, jail is like a forced clean time. You don't have a CHOICE but to be away from it. It's when you get back in the real world, and have to make the choice whether to stay away from it, that is when the real work of recovery starts.
I really hated being locked up, and that kept me clean, for a while. Then I "dabbled" with crack, here and there. Would use once or twice, not use for 5-6 months, repeat, then relapsed for a week and lost a lot. It was the fact that I was just about to get locked up again that was my bottom. That's when I finally accepted the fact I could not ever use again.
So, for me, jail was a good thing, and the thought of going back spurred me into recovery. We can use anything to work toward recovery, as long as we want it bad enough. We can either sit in jail, be angry and just do our time, or we can use that time to make a plan on how we can better ourselves and plan on how we can rebuild our lives without drugs...it's all up to us.
As I said, though, it's easy in jail. My XABF has been doing crack for almost 30 years. Every time he goes to jail, he tells me the same thing....he's done, he's going to get clean, quack, quack, quack. As soon as he gets out, he goes right back to it. I no longer believe a thing he says, because his actions show different.
Since your brother DID do well, the last time, he already HAS some tools of recovery, and, if he chooses to, he can now work on what went wrong, and how to avoid those pitfalls this time. We never lose what we've learned in recovery. We can learn from our mistakes, and keep making progress, if we want to.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
I really hated being locked up, and that kept me clean, for a while. Then I "dabbled" with crack, here and there. Would use once or twice, not use for 5-6 months, repeat, then relapsed for a week and lost a lot. It was the fact that I was just about to get locked up again that was my bottom. That's when I finally accepted the fact I could not ever use again.
So, for me, jail was a good thing, and the thought of going back spurred me into recovery. We can use anything to work toward recovery, as long as we want it bad enough. We can either sit in jail, be angry and just do our time, or we can use that time to make a plan on how we can better ourselves and plan on how we can rebuild our lives without drugs...it's all up to us.
As I said, though, it's easy in jail. My XABF has been doing crack for almost 30 years. Every time he goes to jail, he tells me the same thing....he's done, he's going to get clean, quack, quack, quack. As soon as he gets out, he goes right back to it. I no longer believe a thing he says, because his actions show different.
Since your brother DID do well, the last time, he already HAS some tools of recovery, and, if he chooses to, he can now work on what went wrong, and how to avoid those pitfalls this time. We never lose what we've learned in recovery. We can learn from our mistakes, and keep making progress, if we want to.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Alabama
Posts: 1,741
(((((((((Nicole))))))))))
I know how you feel, I suppose alot of us do. My AS has been in jail many times each time after I cry I feel so much better when I remind myself he is aways from most of the drugs now..he is safe.
Angie
I know how you feel, I suppose alot of us do. My AS has been in jail many times each time after I cry I feel so much better when I remind myself he is aways from most of the drugs now..he is safe.
Angie
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