Hello (again)
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Join Date: Nov 2007
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Hello (again)
Dear members,
I have been away from this site for awhile. I'm having trouble again at home, so I am back. I'll give you a little bit of background about what is going on.
My bf was in recovery from an addiction to codeine. He was sober for 9 months. At first, he was very active in his recovery; however, things slipped away from him, and he started using again. He found a doctor who would give him more pills. He told me about all of this yesterday. He claims that he is sober now, although I'm not completely sure. He has told his regular doctor that he relapsed and that he found someone to give him pills. The doctor gave him the name of an outpatient treatment center where he can receive intensive therapy. Supposedly, he is going to go there Monday to start treatment. He claims that he used for 60 days (that's how many pills they gave him). He then went through withdrawels around Halloween. That's why he felt so awful that weekend. However, I'm not sure that he is completely off the pills now. I am also not sure that he is not still actively seeking pills. However, he did "confess" as to what happened. I realize that I can't trust anything he says--just what he does. He is "upset" because I don't trust him. "What kind of relationship is that?," he says. Yeah, right. Duh, I don't trust you because you lied to me. Apparently, he came up with a very elaborate lie to tell the doctor so that he could get pills. He typed up a bunch of made up nonsense about falling, injuries, illnesses, etc. He showed me his elaborate scheme. What a mess.
He claims that he wants to be sober. He has goals in life, and those can only be accomplished with sobriety. We will see. I know that I have to take care of myself. I've gotten in kind of a mess. We moved, and I don't have a job yet. Of course, the economy isn't great, so I've had trouble finding a job. My goal is to get my finances back in order and to get myself a job. I just finished a training program for a new career, and supposedly this has a very high rate of placement. So, I should be able to find a job soon.
I am working on my own life--taking classes, meeting people, exercising, eating right (most of the time), etc. My addict claims that I should be positive about his recovery (my negative feelings make it hard for him), I should trust him (what kind of relationship can you have without trust), he is sober, he is going to start treatment, etc. I see the mouth moving, but I don't hear the words. Blah, blah, blah. That's all I hear.
I am feeling upset, angry, scared, etc. Both my parents have terrible substance abuse problems, so I'm the perfect codependent. I re-read half of Codependent No More last night. Since he went 9 months sober, he has "recovery tools." I think I also have some of my own recovery tools. So, I'm just trying to hang in there. One day at a time.
Take care,
bluebelle
I have been away from this site for awhile. I'm having trouble again at home, so I am back. I'll give you a little bit of background about what is going on.
My bf was in recovery from an addiction to codeine. He was sober for 9 months. At first, he was very active in his recovery; however, things slipped away from him, and he started using again. He found a doctor who would give him more pills. He told me about all of this yesterday. He claims that he is sober now, although I'm not completely sure. He has told his regular doctor that he relapsed and that he found someone to give him pills. The doctor gave him the name of an outpatient treatment center where he can receive intensive therapy. Supposedly, he is going to go there Monday to start treatment. He claims that he used for 60 days (that's how many pills they gave him). He then went through withdrawels around Halloween. That's why he felt so awful that weekend. However, I'm not sure that he is completely off the pills now. I am also not sure that he is not still actively seeking pills. However, he did "confess" as to what happened. I realize that I can't trust anything he says--just what he does. He is "upset" because I don't trust him. "What kind of relationship is that?," he says. Yeah, right. Duh, I don't trust you because you lied to me. Apparently, he came up with a very elaborate lie to tell the doctor so that he could get pills. He typed up a bunch of made up nonsense about falling, injuries, illnesses, etc. He showed me his elaborate scheme. What a mess.
He claims that he wants to be sober. He has goals in life, and those can only be accomplished with sobriety. We will see. I know that I have to take care of myself. I've gotten in kind of a mess. We moved, and I don't have a job yet. Of course, the economy isn't great, so I've had trouble finding a job. My goal is to get my finances back in order and to get myself a job. I just finished a training program for a new career, and supposedly this has a very high rate of placement. So, I should be able to find a job soon.
I am working on my own life--taking classes, meeting people, exercising, eating right (most of the time), etc. My addict claims that I should be positive about his recovery (my negative feelings make it hard for him), I should trust him (what kind of relationship can you have without trust), he is sober, he is going to start treatment, etc. I see the mouth moving, but I don't hear the words. Blah, blah, blah. That's all I hear.
I am feeling upset, angry, scared, etc. Both my parents have terrible substance abuse problems, so I'm the perfect codependent. I re-read half of Codependent No More last night. Since he went 9 months sober, he has "recovery tools." I think I also have some of my own recovery tools. So, I'm just trying to hang in there. One day at a time.
Take care,
bluebelle
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Reality......
Posts: 735
Hi. Dont know what to tell you except I feel your pain. I wish you sanity in this roller coaster we call loving an addict.
Just sit back and wait and see what he does. My addict is IN rehab and isnt working it. But we will see what happens. Its a waiting game. I am hopeful but am preparing myself for the worst.
Keep posting/reading it helps me everyday.
Just sit back and wait and see what he does. My addict is IN rehab and isnt working it. But we will see what happens. Its a waiting game. I am hopeful but am preparing myself for the worst.
Keep posting/reading it helps me everyday.
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,384
Cassandra2, Thanks for your words. It helps to talk to other people going through the same thing. It's strange, my mind/body knew something was going on. I thought I was losing my mind or something. I just felt really off, and was having all kinds of health issues that are often related to stress--headaches, jaw pain, nausea. I thought that maybe I needed to see a counselor or something. I felt really awful Tuesday night. He admitted what was going on yesterday. So, even though I didn't consciously know what was going on, I obviously new it on some level.
I wish I had a crystal ball and could know what was going to happen. I also I wish I knew whether or not he's still using. I'm trying to keep telling him what I need. I told him today that this time I wasn't going to follow him around--I'm not going to ask him if he's remembered to go to counseling this weekend, if he's done his recovery homework, if he's eaten right, etc. This is his thing. I'm going to take care of myself and he can take care of himself--if that's what he wants.
I agree with you. I'm sitting back. Preparing for the worst, but remaining hopeful.
What else can we do?
I wish I had a crystal ball and could know what was going to happen. I also I wish I knew whether or not he's still using. I'm trying to keep telling him what I need. I told him today that this time I wasn't going to follow him around--I'm not going to ask him if he's remembered to go to counseling this weekend, if he's done his recovery homework, if he's eaten right, etc. This is his thing. I'm going to take care of myself and he can take care of himself--if that's what he wants.
I agree with you. I'm sitting back. Preparing for the worst, but remaining hopeful.
What else can we do?
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Trust your instinct, always. It is usually right on the mark.
And just because he insists you should trust him it means nothing until he has earned that trust. The man has lied to you and to two doctors, and now you should trust him?
Personally, I let actions tell me all I need to know. If he is to start treatment Monday, that should be a beginning.
It's good you are taking care of yourself. Hopefully you will get a job soon and be able to support yourself also.
You always have choices of what you are willing or not willing to have in your life, but it's easier to make good choices when you can financially take care of yourself.
Hugs
And just because he insists you should trust him it means nothing until he has earned that trust. The man has lied to you and to two doctors, and now you should trust him?
Personally, I let actions tell me all I need to know. If he is to start treatment Monday, that should be a beginning.
It's good you are taking care of yourself. Hopefully you will get a job soon and be able to support yourself also.
You always have choices of what you are willing or not willing to have in your life, but it's easier to make good choices when you can financially take care of yourself.
Hugs
Last edited by Ann; 11-30-2008 at 05:49 PM.
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Ann,
You are right. First and foremost, I have to get to the point where I can support myself. At this point, too much in my life depends on him and what he does. I really hope that he starts on this recovery Monday. He tells me that he knows he must be sober. He did pretty well the 9 months he was in recovery. However, he slipped back into those habits. He's been using drugs to self-medicate since he was 16. He is now 45. At first, it was mainly just pot. When he quit the codeine, he also quit pot and tobacco. I know he has the tools to be in recovery. It is amazing that he was able to quit before. He really worked on himself, and he became very open to his friends/family that he was in recovery. I remain hopeful because I know that he can do it. However, I don't know how long I can deal with this rollercoaster. I feel like I am on a ride and my emotions are tied in with what he does. Now that I know about his relapse, I am anxious, my stomach hurts, my intestines are bothering me, and I have this jaw pain. I hate that I have this physical reaction to his choices. I don't want my feelings to be tied in with what he does.
It is so scary to me. My parents are both serious substance abusers. They haven't worked in years, and they have almost no life other than their drugs/alcohol. I am terrified that this will happen to him. I am terrified that I am stuck in the same patterns.
You are right. First and foremost, I have to get to the point where I can support myself. At this point, too much in my life depends on him and what he does. I really hope that he starts on this recovery Monday. He tells me that he knows he must be sober. He did pretty well the 9 months he was in recovery. However, he slipped back into those habits. He's been using drugs to self-medicate since he was 16. He is now 45. At first, it was mainly just pot. When he quit the codeine, he also quit pot and tobacco. I know he has the tools to be in recovery. It is amazing that he was able to quit before. He really worked on himself, and he became very open to his friends/family that he was in recovery. I remain hopeful because I know that he can do it. However, I don't know how long I can deal with this rollercoaster. I feel like I am on a ride and my emotions are tied in with what he does. Now that I know about his relapse, I am anxious, my stomach hurts, my intestines are bothering me, and I have this jaw pain. I hate that I have this physical reaction to his choices. I don't want my feelings to be tied in with what he does.
It is so scary to me. My parents are both serious substance abusers. They haven't worked in years, and they have almost no life other than their drugs/alcohol. I am terrified that this will happen to him. I am terrified that I am stuck in the same patterns.
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,384
After I wrote the above post, I read today's meditation from The Language of Letting Go.
Hazelden -- Thought for the Day
I love the story about detachment and the gerbil. Today, I'm not going to chase the gerbil.
Hazelden -- Thought for the Day
I love the story about detachment and the gerbil. Today, I'm not going to chase the gerbil.
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Ma
Posts: 320
Originally Posted by bluebelle 
I am working on my own life--taking classes, meeting people, exercising, eating right (most of the time), etc. My addict claims that I should be positive about his recovery (my negative feelings make it hard for him), I should trust him (what kind of relationship can you have without trust), he is sober, he is going to start treatment, etc. I see the mouth moving, but I don't hear the words. Blah, blah, blah. That's all I hear.
I am feeling upset, angry, scared, etc. Both my parents have terrible substance abuse problems, so I'm the perfect codependent. I re-read half of Codependent No More last night. Since he went 9 months sober, he has "recovery tools." I think I also have some of my own recovery tools. So, I'm just trying to hang in there. One day at a time.
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Ma
Posts: 320
Originally Posted by bluebelle
After I wrote the above post, I read today's meditation from The Language of Letting Go.
Hazelden -- Thought for the Day
I love the story about detachment and the gerbil. Today, I'm not going to chase the gerbil.
Hazelden -- Thought for the Day
I love the story about detachment and the gerbil. Today, I'm not going to chase the gerbil.
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Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: twilight zone,usa
Posts: 3,909
i hope he gets help. you can not believe a word he says. he has to prove himself. he may want to stay clean but it takes work. if you do not see him working at it he is not clean.your recovery is yours & his is his. you have my prayers,
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Thank you. As you can imagine, things have gotten worse. He kept telling me not to look at a certain folder of his. So, I did. While he was sleeping, I opened it up. Things are much worse than I thought. He was doing a lot of doctor shopping and pharmacy hopping. Drs were realizing what was going on...they were requesting that he get an MRI, etc., but he was trying to make up lies saying he didn't have the $$. All this revolved around his stories about back pain to get oxycodone. It looks like at some point, he even got a patch. I assume he probably ate that or something.
He became extremely angry that I looked through his stuff. He kept repeating that he has this under control. He claims that he can't trust me because I went through his stuff. I stated that I went through his stuff because I knew I couldn't trust him. I'm not stupid. I know when I'm being lied to.
So, there are lies upon lies. I feel like everything is falling apart. He claims that this time when he goes through recovery, he doesn't want me all involved. I knew his counselor before, and I would call her when I was worried about him. I checked up on him to make sure he was doing what he was supposed to be doing. He claims that he wants to go through recovery, but on his own.
So, bottom line is that he is not clean. He says that I need to decide how much I can handle. He claims that he can't say anything, because I won't believe any of it. (O.K., there he is right.) As you can imagine, it is impossible for me to reason with him considering he is in active addiction.
I feel so alone, and scared. I appreciate any advice.
He became extremely angry that I looked through his stuff. He kept repeating that he has this under control. He claims that he can't trust me because I went through his stuff. I stated that I went through his stuff because I knew I couldn't trust him. I'm not stupid. I know when I'm being lied to.
So, there are lies upon lies. I feel like everything is falling apart. He claims that this time when he goes through recovery, he doesn't want me all involved. I knew his counselor before, and I would call her when I was worried about him. I checked up on him to make sure he was doing what he was supposed to be doing. He claims that he wants to go through recovery, but on his own.
So, bottom line is that he is not clean. He says that I need to decide how much I can handle. He claims that he can't say anything, because I won't believe any of it. (O.K., there he is right.) As you can imagine, it is impossible for me to reason with him considering he is in active addiction.
I feel so alone, and scared. I appreciate any advice.
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 269
Blue,
I am don't have much advice for you except to tell you to take care of YOU! That has to be number 1! My qualifier is my recovering addict husband. He has been clean for about 10 months now. Sometimes I still hear the quacking...and it drives me crazy. I have attended alanon for a couple of months now and plan to continue. Maybe seek a face to face meeting in your area. I wish someone would have told me about alanon before he went to rehab. I heard someone say in a meeting that getting into alanon and working the program is much easier when you addict is still using.
Trust has also been a problem between my RAH and me. I do watch his actions and not go by what he says. Although, I have seen so much progress in my hubby since he got out of rehab, but he does still attend meetings and sees a therapist once or twice a week.
Hugs,
Trina
I am don't have much advice for you except to tell you to take care of YOU! That has to be number 1! My qualifier is my recovering addict husband. He has been clean for about 10 months now. Sometimes I still hear the quacking...and it drives me crazy. I have attended alanon for a couple of months now and plan to continue. Maybe seek a face to face meeting in your area. I wish someone would have told me about alanon before he went to rehab. I heard someone say in a meeting that getting into alanon and working the program is much easier when you addict is still using.
Trust has also been a problem between my RAH and me. I do watch his actions and not go by what he says. Although, I have seen so much progress in my hubby since he got out of rehab, but he does still attend meetings and sees a therapist once or twice a week.
Hugs,
Trina
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Trina,
Thanks. It really helps for me to hear from other people. I'm sure there are meetings around here--I live in a good-sized city. I need to look for them.
I guess he is supposedly tapering down and is working with a doctor. He's gotten in a bit of trouble because the state tracks how many controlled substances you are purchasing, and they sent his doctors a print out of all the prescriptions he's gotten and from how many different doctors. So some of the pharmacies and his doctors know what he is up to. I hope this encourages him to get clean. I just really, really hope that he's hit his rock bottom. I wish that he wasn't tapering, but he is scared of the withdrawels. He had a really hard time the first time around.
I think it would really help me to be around other people who are going through this. Substance abuse is such a taboo topic. My best friend back home knows what is going on. His old friends knew that he was in recovery, I doubt he's told him that he's back to using. Unfortunately, since we are living in a new city, we don't know people who we can really talk to about this. It seemed like it helped him before once he started opening up and telling people that he had a problem.
My bf has not found a therapist that he likes yet. The first place wanted to put him on suboxone, and he doesn't want to go that route. I really hope that he likes the place that he is trying tomorrow.
Thanks. It really helps for me to hear from other people. I'm sure there are meetings around here--I live in a good-sized city. I need to look for them.
I guess he is supposedly tapering down and is working with a doctor. He's gotten in a bit of trouble because the state tracks how many controlled substances you are purchasing, and they sent his doctors a print out of all the prescriptions he's gotten and from how many different doctors. So some of the pharmacies and his doctors know what he is up to. I hope this encourages him to get clean. I just really, really hope that he's hit his rock bottom. I wish that he wasn't tapering, but he is scared of the withdrawels. He had a really hard time the first time around.
I think it would really help me to be around other people who are going through this. Substance abuse is such a taboo topic. My best friend back home knows what is going on. His old friends knew that he was in recovery, I doubt he's told him that he's back to using. Unfortunately, since we are living in a new city, we don't know people who we can really talk to about this. It seemed like it helped him before once he started opening up and telling people that he had a problem.
My bf has not found a therapist that he likes yet. The first place wanted to put him on suboxone, and he doesn't want to go that route. I really hope that he likes the place that he is trying tomorrow.
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[QUOTE=bluebelle;2005569
I hope this encourages him to get clean.
I just really, really hope that he's hit his rock bottom.
I really hope that he likes the place that he is trying tomorrow.[/QUOTE]
Please please be careful that your hopes dont turn into expectations. I hear myself in your words. I hope for his recovery. I hope he sees the light. I hope he makes his way back to me. I hope I hope......
All of that hoping turns into expectations. Which in turn turns into disappointment for you. I expected (hoped) my ex to see the light when I kicked him out. I expected (hoped) he would get caught selling his pills. I expected (hoped) he would get better after being off the pills for a week or so. I expected (hoped) that he would stop being so angry with me....
None of those things happened or has happened. Do you see what I am saying? I dont want you to feel as bad as I do. I am RIGHT now trying to practice detaching myself.
Does my ex know that I love him? Sure he does. He knows me well enough to know that I do. Does that change anything? No.
Right now his actions are saying he isnt actively seeking recovery and that is all I can go by because he either lies to me or everything rational I try to talk to him about puts me on the hamster wheel and it goes round and round. Waste of time.
Detach yourself from him. If he goes into rehab great. If he seeks recovery great but these are really big IFS in terms of an addict. Just be leary of this and hope for the best but prepare for the worst.....
I hope this encourages him to get clean.
I just really, really hope that he's hit his rock bottom.
I really hope that he likes the place that he is trying tomorrow.[/QUOTE]
Please please be careful that your hopes dont turn into expectations. I hear myself in your words. I hope for his recovery. I hope he sees the light. I hope he makes his way back to me. I hope I hope......
All of that hoping turns into expectations. Which in turn turns into disappointment for you. I expected (hoped) my ex to see the light when I kicked him out. I expected (hoped) he would get caught selling his pills. I expected (hoped) he would get better after being off the pills for a week or so. I expected (hoped) that he would stop being so angry with me....
None of those things happened or has happened. Do you see what I am saying? I dont want you to feel as bad as I do. I am RIGHT now trying to practice detaching myself.
Does my ex know that I love him? Sure he does. He knows me well enough to know that I do. Does that change anything? No.
Right now his actions are saying he isnt actively seeking recovery and that is all I can go by because he either lies to me or everything rational I try to talk to him about puts me on the hamster wheel and it goes round and round. Waste of time.
Detach yourself from him. If he goes into rehab great. If he seeks recovery great but these are really big IFS in terms of an addict. Just be leary of this and hope for the best but prepare for the worst.....
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Originally Posted by bluebelle
I feel so alone, and scared. I appreciate any advice.
He will seek help, or he will not. Either way, if you work on taking good care of you, you will be okay.
So save your energy and don't chase the gerbil.
Hugs
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Reality......
Posts: 735
Its funny how detaching works. It seems to me that there is something about human nature and detaching. Chasing anyone gets you no where. Detaching not only will give you peace of mind but it also stops the hamster wheel. When you truly detach from your addict they feel it. They know it because you stop doing what you were doing.
I have been trying to work on different ways of detaching as I still have to deal with my ex because of our child. Yesterday, I had a conversation with him about seeing my other children. Again the hamster wheel round and round went no where.
So I ended the call and thought about it and thought detach. I called him back and said you know what forget it. I dont expect anything from you at all. He said whats that suppose to mean. I said just what I said. This is my boundary I will not let you seperate and pick and choose what kid you will still have a relationship with. THESE ARE KIDS. THey have feelings and until their feelings have had a chance to heal and they can deal with you no longer being in their lives you will NOT have any visitation schedule with our daughter. He hung up me.
He watches our daughter during the week but he has been pushing for her to stay every other weekend and now wants her for xmas. I WILL NOT ALLOW HIM TO CROSS THIS BOUNDARY.
These are my kids and I am fighting for them right now. Not him. He is an adult and has the ability to understand this. Kids dont. So I detached and set a huge boundary for myself. I was pretty proud.
Others treat you how you allow them to treat you.
I have been trying to work on different ways of detaching as I still have to deal with my ex because of our child. Yesterday, I had a conversation with him about seeing my other children. Again the hamster wheel round and round went no where.
So I ended the call and thought about it and thought detach. I called him back and said you know what forget it. I dont expect anything from you at all. He said whats that suppose to mean. I said just what I said. This is my boundary I will not let you seperate and pick and choose what kid you will still have a relationship with. THESE ARE KIDS. THey have feelings and until their feelings have had a chance to heal and they can deal with you no longer being in their lives you will NOT have any visitation schedule with our daughter. He hung up me.
He watches our daughter during the week but he has been pushing for her to stay every other weekend and now wants her for xmas. I WILL NOT ALLOW HIM TO CROSS THIS BOUNDARY.
These are my kids and I am fighting for them right now. Not him. He is an adult and has the ability to understand this. Kids dont. So I detached and set a huge boundary for myself. I was pretty proud.
Others treat you how you allow them to treat you.
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Cassandra2
I know you're right. I'm glad you showed me my words. The last two days have been so devastating. A year ago, he started recovery. We had some rough times, but it seemed like things were getting better. I'm in shock that things got this bad this quick.
Ann,
Thank you for your kind words. They caused tears to run down my face. You give me hope. At this point, I am just so sad and scared.
I know you're right. I'm glad you showed me my words. The last two days have been so devastating. A year ago, he started recovery. We had some rough times, but it seemed like things were getting better. I'm in shock that things got this bad this quick.
Ann,
Thank you for your kind words. They caused tears to run down my face. You give me hope. At this point, I am just so sad and scared.
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Join Date: Oct 2008
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Its ok to have hope if we didnt we would be worse off because being hopeless is not somewhere I want to be.
I dont want to pour salt in your open wounds but want you to understand that things can and probably will get worse. I know that sounds terrible but that seems to be the constant thing that happens with our addicts.
They can get especially worse if you continue with these expectations of him getting better. I know I have been there. I thought when I first kicked my ex out that things couldnt get any worse. I was so very very wrong. Things have not only gotten worse but at times have been almost unbearable. That is why I am saying expect the worse to happen because when it does you wont be so devastated.
Devastation causes much more heartache then saying oh well I knew that was gonna happen. Just prepare yourself for the worst it will be so much easier. I hope and pray that things dont get worse for you but in our situations with addicts thats kinda like thinking there wont be any snow this winter here in the north.
Keep your chin up.....Keep posting.....We are here.....
I dont want to pour salt in your open wounds but want you to understand that things can and probably will get worse. I know that sounds terrible but that seems to be the constant thing that happens with our addicts.
They can get especially worse if you continue with these expectations of him getting better. I know I have been there. I thought when I first kicked my ex out that things couldnt get any worse. I was so very very wrong. Things have not only gotten worse but at times have been almost unbearable. That is why I am saying expect the worse to happen because when it does you wont be so devastated.
Devastation causes much more heartache then saying oh well I knew that was gonna happen. Just prepare yourself for the worst it will be so much easier. I hope and pray that things dont get worse for you but in our situations with addicts thats kinda like thinking there wont be any snow this winter here in the north.
Keep your chin up.....Keep posting.....We are here.....
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: Western WA
Posts: 132
I guess he is supposedly tapering down and is working with a doctor.
I wish that he wasn't tapering, but he is scared of the withdrawels. He had a really hard time the first time around.
The first place wanted to put him on suboxone, and he doesn't want to go that route.
My ABF of 3 years was in recovery from opiates when we met. He recently went through 6 months of being prescribed them for pre-op pain and then surgery. Of course, they never lasted as long as they were supposed to and the prescribed amount was never enough. Now, trying to get off them has been hell for both of us!! He has started on Suboxone this last week. Biggest bonuses were 1) control of withdrawl symptoms and cravings (which, as you know, make him a raving lunatic) and 2) his MD and pharmacist now know not to give him opiates, as they won't be effective on the Suboxone.
Not sure why your BF doesn't want to go that way, but I think it's better than the wean..........which, for my ABF meant me trying to dose pills to him, causing lots of fights.........and he always seemed to find them when I was gone..........I'm talking a week's worth of pills gone in a few hours..........not safe!! Good luck to you!!
I wish that he wasn't tapering, but he is scared of the withdrawels. He had a really hard time the first time around.
The first place wanted to put him on suboxone, and he doesn't want to go that route.
My ABF of 3 years was in recovery from opiates when we met. He recently went through 6 months of being prescribed them for pre-op pain and then surgery. Of course, they never lasted as long as they were supposed to and the prescribed amount was never enough. Now, trying to get off them has been hell for both of us!! He has started on Suboxone this last week. Biggest bonuses were 1) control of withdrawl symptoms and cravings (which, as you know, make him a raving lunatic) and 2) his MD and pharmacist now know not to give him opiates, as they won't be effective on the Suboxone.
Not sure why your BF doesn't want to go that way, but I think it's better than the wean..........which, for my ABF meant me trying to dose pills to him, causing lots of fights.........and he always seemed to find them when I was gone..........I'm talking a week's worth of pills gone in a few hours..........not safe!! Good luck to you!!
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cassandra2,
Yeah, I'm sure the road ahead is very bumpy. I think that's why all of this upset me so much. It seemed like things were going well, and I feel like we are going to have to start back where we were one year ago.
In a Tailspin,
I'm feeling like I'd much rather he be on Suboxone than the opiates. I have serious doubts that he can handle this taper. Supposedly, if he can't come back to the doctor with 2 pills, the doctor won't give him any more and he will have to go cold turkey. He did go cold turkey the first time around.... but, we'll see. Hopefully, he will find a counselor that he likes at this new place, and he will follow their advice. He's trying to say that he can "do this on his own," which is what he tried to say before he went into recovery last year.
I can't imagine what would happen if I was dosing the pills out to ABF. I can't imagine that would go well at all. He has been known to do the same thing--he'll taper for a few days, and then he'll take them all at once. Agh!
Yeah, I'm sure the road ahead is very bumpy. I think that's why all of this upset me so much. It seemed like things were going well, and I feel like we are going to have to start back where we were one year ago.
In a Tailspin,
I'm feeling like I'd much rather he be on Suboxone than the opiates. I have serious doubts that he can handle this taper. Supposedly, if he can't come back to the doctor with 2 pills, the doctor won't give him any more and he will have to go cold turkey. He did go cold turkey the first time around.... but, we'll see. Hopefully, he will find a counselor that he likes at this new place, and he will follow their advice. He's trying to say that he can "do this on his own," which is what he tried to say before he went into recovery last year.
I can't imagine what would happen if I was dosing the pills out to ABF. I can't imagine that would go well at all. He has been known to do the same thing--he'll taper for a few days, and then he'll take them all at once. Agh!
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I'm feeling better today. I spent the day getting a lot of stuff done. I also picked up some mystery books from the library and yarn for crocheting. I'm trying to keep from obsessing over all this mess. My ABF supposedly went by a rehab place today and he says that he is supposed to start 2 x's week outpatient treatment starting Thursday.
ABF opened up a bit today. He was talking a good bit, and some of what he was saying sounded like excuses and nonsense about drugs. He was saying things like, "At least I never got hooked on alcohol, because that causes physical problems." Huh????? He sounded like he was a little buzzed on his "tapering" meds. However, I followed Ann's advice and didn't chase the gerbil. I listened, I watched him, but I didn't offer advice or tell him what I thought about his comments.
ABF opened up a bit today. He was talking a good bit, and some of what he was saying sounded like excuses and nonsense about drugs. He was saying things like, "At least I never got hooked on alcohol, because that causes physical problems." Huh????? He sounded like he was a little buzzed on his "tapering" meds. However, I followed Ann's advice and didn't chase the gerbil. I listened, I watched him, but I didn't offer advice or tell him what I thought about his comments.
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