lostparent

This was AD s first Thanksgiving here in 2 yrs, she was in jail the last 2 anyway ended up with her older sister an her fighting . Over something stupid the older sister was in a pissy mood an smarted off to AD who wasn't taking it an mouth off back. They ended up in a screaming match an her sister telling her she was "Dead to her" an that she hated her every since she stole money an stuff from her in the past.
So now Ad says she will never come here or go any where around her sister..which is going to be hard on the kids. An here I am stuck in the middle...I want to smack them both!! Just needed to vent..
Hope everyone else had a better day.

endzoner

sorry bout your daughters dealings , but sometimes we say what we really dont mean it just comes out an its regreted in the end , I hope in some time that they will make amends to one another , I have a not so great relationship with my younger sister . How we handle it is we dont discuss the other sister in bad ways with my mom , its to save her from our own thinkin , Its easier that way , its not so say were not civil , unlike what happened in your home , its just when I speak with my mom I dont speak badly of my sister . Tonite for instence I called my mom to talk bout dinner and such and she told me that my sister made it after all and asked if i wanted to say hi , I said no im sure shes dont wanna talk , well mom asked her and sure nuff made some fussy sounds i could hear it in the phone . Its tuff but i expect that were not the typical sibling get alongs . But perhaps some day we will be able to move on , and just try and be civil like i said . I hope things work out, just give um time . As hard as it is . if one complains bout the other , perhaps a " thats between you too " is needed . as to keep from stickin you in the core of it .. peace be with you

Impurrfect

awwww, sweetie, I'm sorry. Your girls have a few hurdles and resentments yet to get over, but don't give up hope. I'm just sorry you and the kids have to feel in the middle.

Sending you some BIG hugs and prayers!

Amy

itisatruth

(((lostparent))) Sorry your day wasn't what you wanted it to be. Sometimes in the heat of the moment, things are said that sound bad, but in time can be worked out.....I hope they can work things out. Try not to feel in the middle -- this is their issue to work out and if they can it will be that much better.

lostparent

They use to be really close until Ad started using drugs an stealing. Even then her sister use to keep her mouth shut just to keep peace. So Ad was a little blindsided by what was say to her.

BBD

I'm so sorry your day ended with your girls fighting. It's so hard for us as parents to not have kids get along. It sounds like its something the girls have to work out together. They will in time~~~hopefully....but you still are thier mom and they should try and keep you out of it from now on. Sorry it had to happen on Thanksgiving at your house....Big mom hugs, Bonnie

laurie6781

OK LP let them fight it out. Not your problem. When your AD maintains being clean and sober she will make her amends to her sister and years down the road they will probably be very close.

I am 10 years and 9 months older than my sister, and growing up that sure didn't allow us to be very close. Then, of course, there were my years of addiction, and her codieism and trying to clean up my messes, lol

Now today with me at 63 and her at 52 we are extremely close.

Let them work it out. Give them to HP and allow HP to watch over them.

It will be alright in the future, somewhere in the future.

J M H O

Love and hugs,

sleepygoat

Sorry your holiday had to be ruined by this stuff, but maybe your AD needed to hear it - sometimes we (addicts) think just because we aren't doing it anymore, that its all over and forgotten. But the people we hurt still hurt.

Ann

Doesn't it stink when you go to all that work to have a nice family get together and then relatives pick that time and place to have it out?

I think they both owe you an apology, but even if it doesn't come, I'd leave this between them and they'll work it out or they won't, but either way you don't have to be in the middle if you make it clear you won't be.

Maybe just take come comfort that your AD is clean this year and count it as progress even if not perfection.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend, you deserve the peace and rest.

Hugs

greeteachday

I'm really sorry you had to be in the middle of this. I imagine how close they were before addiction makes it particularly difficult. The positive side from my perspective is they obviously stilll love each other very much. Somehow indifference does not yield such strong emotions.
I agree with all the wise responses here that it is theirs to work out and I suspect if your AD keeps moving forward, they will, and be closer than ever. Many hugs...I hope the rest of your weekened is much better!

hope213

this to shall pass. i hate it ruined the day & i am sending prayers for all of you.

mooselips

(((Parent))))
Yuck, that sounds like the Christmas day we had here a few years ago. Both of the sons came while High, and me, being oblivious didn't immediately see it, and asked one of them to do something for me, and they both started yelling, and screaming, and verbally attacking me.

The nice part is, they both left, WITHOUT eating.

Skip to a few years forward, and some things are better. They were BOTH sober yesterday, and for that, I'm grateful.

As for your daughters, time heals all wounds. One day, your AD will understand where your SD is coming from and scars will heal.


In the meantime, it's THEIR problem.

Hugs.......

marle

I still find that I get triggered by something my daughter says or does and it is really hard for me to hold my tongue, so it was probably difficult for SD. You probably already know that whatever they were fighting about was not the real issue. They will work it out in their time. Staying out of the middle of it will help you keep your balance. Hugs, Marle

lostparent

Will try to stay out of it yesterday I was in the middle with my arms stretched out keeping them a part . The whole time trying to get one of them to act like an adult for the kids sake...thought for a minute I was going to get smacked .
Thanks for all the replies your all right it is for them to work out an I will try not to be drug into it . Also going to try an not worry about Christmas. But I won't allow them to ruin another Holiday for these kids.
Will keep telling myself "Let Go an Let God"

splendra

Hey there I am sorry that your daughters had this kind of encounter on a holiday no less. Holidays are hard on families like ours. I personally had to skip them with my family for several years.

My sister and I have had several encounters like this in the past. I won't say my relationship with my sister is healed I don't know that it ever will be but at least we can now be in the same room with each other for a few hours without a knock down drag out.

We decided that for my mom's sake we would be civil because holidays still mean so much to her.