Serenity Bound

I just wanted to share how this trully amazing site & program has helped me grow. And continues. First, I learned that I was, sometimes still am a controlling person with my own issues. I could see so clearly how someone else should live there life.

9 years later, I can still let my controlling nature interfere, I can still enable in ways that I don't realize until later. I can still react, too D*** fast.

But the great thing is that NOW, I realize these things!! I realize these things are MY character defects. And I realize that I am a work in progress...no I'll never graduate, but I will continue to grow & learn.

A lot went on yesterday, My AD entered rehab for 12 days, I was called by a friend of hers telling me that the AD's husband called and said he was moving on & out...and the list goes on. The person who called me, caught me so off guard that I literally went into panic mode. OMG how is this going to affect my AD, what about her things in the apt, her things, what about her baby, you know the drill...on & on it goes. I was shaking!!! Enter the "serenity prayer" (lots of times) and prayers in general. It took hours....but by the end of the day...I finally realized that all of her problems need to be in her HP hands, not mine. I was actually able to take a deep breath and come to terms with the fact that none of those things are up to me.

I also realized that maybe she needs to lose all of those things, because that's just what the stuff is (except of course the baby) just things. Wow, this was a big moment for me!!

So I just wanted to end by saying, it's a long road, and for some of us, takes a long time to "Let Go & Let God".

Even though I sometimes take a step or two backwards, you guys are always there.

Hugs & Prayers to all of you!
Chris

Today is a Good day!

AquaBlue

I feel the same way about this place! : )

I definitely read PROGRESS in your post, Serenity Bound, and it inspires me!

Impurrfect

I, too, see a lot of progress. I still go into panic mode, sometimes, but I don't STAY in it, and that's a big difference from how I used to be. When we can stop, breathe, and say the serenity prayer a few hundred times, we know we are making progress

Good for you!!

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

greeteachday

Great post! Except for the time period involved and the specific issue you faced yesterday, I feel as if I could have written it myself. Sometimes I can catch myself before I react...sometimes not. But alway, as I keep working recovery, I can recognize that I have gone into panic mode and I can recover...usually in the same day.

Thanks for sharing here as we grow together.

SerenityGirl

Serenity Bound, I think you picked the more appropriate name than I did, I don't know what I was thinking when I chose Serenitygirl, because I've been anything but serene the last two days. But I know I will get through it, and its not really the end of the world. And I thank God that he is helping me get through this....Yes, I have to Let Go and Let God over and over.