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It's not my fault . . .

Old 11-20-2008, 06:45 PM
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It's not my fault . . .

I know in my head that It's not my fault

what is going on in my life - It's not my fault.

The decisions I am making are consequences of his behaviors

He's hurt, I'm hurt.

It's sad, painful and heartbreaking.

But it's not my fault.

I KNOW this - I offer e,s, & h to many letting them know it's not our fault, it's ok to protect ourselves, to take care of us, . . .

will somebody please tell my heart
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Old 11-20-2008, 07:04 PM
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It's progressive, no way around that. You MUST take care of you, Japic. It will do you no good to go down with your A. The A has his own bottom to reach and his own lessons to learn. Don't rob him of them. Do take care of you and remember all that you have learned. Saying prayers for you tonight
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Old 11-20-2008, 07:09 PM
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awwww, sweetie, it's NOT your fault.

I know how hard it is to take our own advice. I've been going through that with my dad, lately.

I've been trying to tell myself that if I want what is best for my friends, why can I not want it for myself? We KNOW it's best to let people deal with their consequences, whether it's related to addiction or not. It's just not easy to stand by.

I'm sorry you're hurting, but give some of that wonderful compassion you show US to yourself, okay?

Hugs and prayers!

Amy
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Old 11-20-2008, 07:15 PM
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Aw (((((Japic))))), I'm so sorry. I hate this disease. Trust your Hp, He has a plan for all of us.

Thanks and God bless us all, :praying
Coyote
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Old 11-20-2008, 07:33 PM
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Sending prayers your way that you find peace. It is not your fault. Hugs, Marle
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Old 11-20-2008, 07:35 PM
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It's not your fault!!!!!!

Why do things always get worse around the Holidays?

Ever notice that?
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Old 11-20-2008, 08:12 PM
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insert thanks button to everyone
and maybe a new
HUGS back to each of you
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Old 11-20-2008, 09:19 PM
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It's not your fault~~it's not my fault~ it's none of our faults~~~but we do live with the hurt and pain that addiction causes. Take care of yourself as we all try to do...Big hugs, Bonnie
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Old 11-20-2008, 09:38 PM
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I hope you can love and value yourself enough to hear the ESH you share with others. It is not your fault and you deserve the best.
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Old 11-21-2008, 05:18 AM
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I am speaking directly to your heart.....

From my heart to your heart.... It is not your fault!

Hugs,
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Old 11-21-2008, 06:44 AM
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Its not your fault

sometimes it takes alittle while for our hearts to catch up with our heads..............but in time the heart accepts .....................keep reminding yourself and know we're here for you!! BIG HUGS
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Old 11-21-2008, 07:04 AM
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I think acceptance is when the heart accepts the facts the brain keeps trying to convince it of.
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Old 11-21-2008, 07:11 AM
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It's not your fault - but for me - sometimes it just felt like it was - but I try to remember that feelings aren't facts!

I hate this disease - and what it does to the addict and those that love them.

Holidays are coming up - and always seem to be an emotional time for me - whether or not "they" are using.

I try to go to more meetings, read more literature and stay close to my recovery friends. And January 1 WILL come.

Love in recovery,
Jody Hepler

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Old 11-21-2008, 07:33 AM
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Sending hugs and dont forget your fridge is NOT blue
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Old 11-21-2008, 08:43 AM
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I feel for you.
I'm seriously struggling today to remind myself it's not my fault that the relationship didn't work out.
Yet for some horrible reason i feel tremendously guilty.

I feel like i have to call him and apologise!!! Apologise for what? It's stupid. But it's the guilt and the blame he's put on me over the past 7 months that makes me feel this way.

Chin up honey, it will get easier. That's what i keep telling myself.

~Limiya~
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Old 11-21-2008, 09:45 AM
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The only way i can describe this feeling is...

Imagine being locked in a cage for many years, and then one day the doors to that cage are opened, and you're free. But you still sit there, afraid. Where will you go? What will you do?
You chose to stay in the cage because it's what you've grown farmiliar to. It's what you're used to.
Freedom is a scary thing.

I see this as one of the best things i can tell myself... i am free now. I need to get used to enjoying it.

~Limiya~
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Old 11-21-2008, 03:39 PM
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We didn't cause, we can't control it, we can't cure it.


But it's so damn hard sometimes.
Prayers to ease the hurt and recognize the HP.
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Old 11-21-2008, 05:07 PM
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Originally Posted by Impurrfect View Post
awwww, sweetie, it's NOT your fault.

I know how hard it is to take our own advice. I've been going through that with my dad, lately.

I've been trying to tell myself that if I want what is best for my friends, why can I not want it for myself? We KNOW it's best to let people deal with their consequences, whether it's related to addiction or not. It's just not easy to stand by.

I'm sorry you're hurting, but give some of that wonderful compassion you show US to yourself, okay?

Hugs and prayers!

Amy
Amy - you are a genius! HUG.


Japic - hang in there hon. Praying for you
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Old 11-21-2008, 05:13 PM
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You didn't cause it. If you did, then you would have been able to stop it too. We just don't have that power and all the love in the world won't give it to us.

I'm sorry you're hurting, and send hugs and lots of prayers that tomorrow things don't seem as dark for you.

Hugs
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