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I post on the other board yesterday, AH admitted to trying to kill himself!!



I post on the other board yesterday, AH admitted to trying to kill himself!!

Old 11-16-2008, 09:24 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: NC
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I post on the other board yesterday, AH admitted to trying to kill himself!!

He admitted to me on the phone that the day he was real messed up, got fired from him job and ultimately kicked out of our home that he had take 40 to 50 50mg demerol, I forget how many merergan fortis and klonopin. He said he was so ashamed of coming back here to me under the impression that he had clean for a year and then me finding out it was a big fat lie pushed him over the edge. He's surprised he's alive and so am I.
I didn't put him on my insurance for the upcoming year but reminded him he was still insured until the end of December and encouraged rehab. I told him that I would work as much extra at the hospital as I could (which is not much, with the economy the way it is people don't come to the hospital because they don't have insurance) that I would pay his child support and student loan until he got out. He sounded like he was going to go admitting he needed help. But, he said I have to think about it. Today, I texted him to see what he decided and he said no for many addict reasonings. I told him that I wished him well but that today would be the last time we speak again. I changed both of my telephone numbers (never went that far in the past 11 yrs). I also blocked him for my email. I have mixed feelings of relief and anger. He said , when I offered rehab and taking care of his bills " I wish you didn't love me so much". Not sure why he said that!!
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Old 11-16-2008, 10:15 PM
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Hotel California
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I don't have any advice for you but I wanted to offer you my sympathy. It sounds like he isn't ready yet. It's too bad that he doesn't realize what an opportunity you were offering him. I'm glad you are taking action to protect yourself. I wish him and you well.
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Old 11-17-2008, 02:20 AM
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Sadly, they just aren't ready until they are ready.

That was a generous offer you made, and even though it was declined, he can find recovery on his own if he really wants to. Salvation Army rehabs are very good and are free, NA, AA, and other support groups will welcome him when he makes the first move to walk in the door.

You did a wise thing by stepping away. Living in our recovery and their addiction at the same time just isn't possible...and the only recovery you can contol is your own.

My prayers go out for both of you, that a better path is in sight for each of you, even if the paths are not the same.

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Old 11-17-2008, 04:48 AM
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: East Tawas, MI
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Sending my prayers for both of you. There is hope but he has to want it. My daughter went to rehab high. She called me and came over and made the calls herself. She came with a handful of pills so that she did not have to go into withdrawal until she was in rehab. But she went. I don't know if she will stay clean but she found recovery once and God willing she can find it in the future. Continue to take care of yourself. Don't let yourself be pulled in to his drama again. I know it is hard but it does no good for you to be pulled back into that sickness again. Hugs, Marle
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Old 11-17-2008, 05:02 AM
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Orange County, NY
Posts: 116
If I learned nothing else on this journey, it's that we can hold out a helping hand, but it's up to them to reach out and grab it.
You were offering him a chance at recovery, a chance to straighten out his life, and he didn't take it. I know you are hurting so bad, but if he's not ready, we can't force them can we? Or maybe by you setting up "no contact" with him, reality will kick him in the head? Only time will tell.

Take care of you....
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Old 11-17-2008, 05:19 AM
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Phoenix, AZ
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One time I threw my ex out he ended up jumping out a window with a heavy duty extension cord tied around his neck into a group of people. I felt SO bad until the doctor at the hospital they sent my ex to told me that his attempted suicide was just a ploy for attention. He said unfortunately sometimes they do die, but in NO way is it my fault. I finally left him 2 years later and since I've been out of his life he has attempted suicide 2 more times. Both because the women he is with have thrown him out. Nothing changes until they want help. You did the right thing. You made the offer, and he's not ready. This is not easy, but you made the first step.
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Old 11-17-2008, 11:30 AM
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Ma
Posts: 320
My ex-abf made numerous threats of suicide to me, telling me I can read about him in the newspaper and it would be my fault. The first time he ever said it, I was concerned..but after I posted a thread about it on here and got responses...I realized it was just so he could get his way, or attention. He said it to me a few weeks ago and I told him to go ahead and kill himself and then hung up. I have since changed my #. no more drama.
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Old 11-17-2008, 03:09 PM
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I've lived the last year with constant suicide threats. I took all of them seriously but did know and doctors confirmed that it was more of a ploy to get my sympathy and get me to do what he wanted. They have a hard time when they feel they are loosing control of us and that's the last ditch effort to pull us back in. unfortunately sometimes those threats do lead to action so i would never take it lightly. why he would tell you about it well after the fact really could be a control issue.
You have offered to do everything but go to rehab on his behalf so I think you've done more than enough to try to help him. Glad to see you standing firm for yourself and removing yourself from his problems.
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