cassandra2

Addictive behavior? I hear that alot on this site and just am wondering what that is. I also hear alot about how alcoholics stop drinking or drug addicts stop using but their addictive behavior continues.

What does that mean?

sailorjohn

What are addictive behaviors ?

Good link I found, you piqued my curiosity!

And got a bonus spelling lesson curious-curiosity!

cassandra2

Ok so in reading that it still does not explain why these behaviors continue even after the abuse of either substance or alcohol or whatever their addictions are. I hear "dry drunk" alot. What does that mean? Is the person still acting the same even though the drinking has stopped?

So is the key really to go through the 12 steps or something like intensive behavior therapy?

Latte

I have a hole in my life. If I don't put something in that hole I turn into a big b*tc&. I put AA/NA and the 12 steps in there and I am a good mom and a good wife and an awesome friend.

sailorjohn

Yeah, for the dry drunk, precisely. And there are different ways of treating the behavior, 12 steps, have also heard of CBT-cognitive behavioral therapy. Have also heard of a very condensed step program, not the 12 steps. There are a lot of different recovery options out there, I think most go with AA because it is so very simple, it works, and you get the added benefit of face-to-face support.

Impurrfect

I'll have to read that link (thanks sailorJohn), but to me, addictive behavior is a lot of things. When I got clean, not working at recovery, I was going through the motions..I went to work, I paid bills, I did the responsible thing, but I always held it in the back of my head that I could still use drugs "responsibly" at some point in the future.

I was not a very happy person....just couldn't seem to find joy in much.

To me, when a person is not taking responsibility for their actions and consequences (and usually blaming others), it's addictive behavior. Most of us have hurt a lot of people, caused financial chaos, messed up jobs/careers. If we sit around and mope about it, talk about how things are going to be different, but don't DO anything about it...that's addictive behavior.

Like Latte, I had a void in my life and had to find something to fill it up. I don't go to meetings, but I do spend a lot of time on SR, and talking to f2f people who are supportive. I also have a very strong relationship with my HP, and that is the most important thing about my recovery.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

BayAreaPhoenix

When my AH was telling me he had quit his pills, but his behavior and actions were still - poor pitiful me, I did what you wanted, why isn't that enough? Well - it did throw me, and I ended up here (thankfully).

I was confused within myself because I didn't know that he was addicted to opiates in our marriage. I just knew that our marriage was not a marriage for me, no partnership, everything was about him , his comfort levels, etc. I finally decided I could not live in an unhappy unhealthy relationship anymore. It was after that that I found out about the addiction. Then he told me he quit.

I knew I didn't want to go back, somehow I knew that just quitting the pills wasn't the answer, and it took understanding that nothing changes if nothing changes. Quitting his pills (which he didn't anyway, it was a lie) was not a CHANGE. He still needed to do whatever he needed to to deal with why he was escaping, why he was depressed, why he felt so victimized, etc. Until he did that, our marriage - with or without the pills - would be the same.