jerect

I'm not a mother but I know all about that "feeling", mine is usualy right..

You are in my thoughts and prayers today and you did the right thing by turning him over.. I can't think of better hands for him to be in.

mooselips

I'll make this hopefully short, and perhaps you can tell me my FAUR needs adjusting.
(That would be FEELING ADDICT USING RADAR)

This concerns the youngest AS 30 year old.
He was ill, he went to E.R., and they referred him to Urologist.
He saw the Urologist, he gave him a script for a different antibiotic,
he couldn't afford it, even with insurance coverage, so he took the antibiotic the E.R. prescribed.
A week later, he has intense pain, the referred Dr. does nothing.
I suggested a Specialist Dr. I know well.
He came up here, and saw him.
That Dr. gave him antibiotic for 30 days,
and 40 percocets.

He stopped here after appt. He looked AWFUL.
Being the suspicious mother that I am, I thought sick? or Using again?

He called the next evening and asked if he could spend the night here.
(discussed this with Mr. Moose and we said okay...DUH)



While on his way here, his GF of 3 years called. He's hiding money. Doesn't want to pay back what he owes her parents, has been angry, and aggressive.

Well, I asked him straight out, (why do we bother?) and naturally, he denied.

And as of now, I am not answering phone.
And turning it over, hourly to my H.P.

Hugs...
addiction is absolutely exhausting.

marle

My daughter was prescribed Ultram by the emergency room doctor when she fell and cracked her ribs. I took her to emergency room and she was truthful with the doctor. Due to her needing prednisone for her asthma she could not get the non-narcotic Toradol. The emergency room doctor tried to tell me that Ultram is a synthetic narcotic and not addicting. No amount of my telling him otherwise made a difference. So daughter got the Ultram. She did not abuse them because to get high off them with her having used heroin in the past would mean she would have to take so many of them that she would risk a seizure. But I have to wonder if the Ultram did not awaken her addiction again. She also has not looked too good recently, although that varies day to day. But the one good thing is that I told her that I need to see less of her because I don't want to have to look too closely. Also added that I know that she makes enough money to pay her basics so don't ask for money. So I guess what I am saying is that we both know that our kids are going to have to do what they have to do. They both may need a bit more of the lessons that God is providing for them. I know my daughter still thinks that a pill has magic powers. (They do but not the kind she is hoping for) So hugs to you Moose for staying out of the way and not offering a solution. I know sometimes that is really the hardest thing to do, but in the end it is the kindest. Hugs, Marle

grateful2b

Moose...sounds to me like your radar is working just fine, unfortunately, but good for you for taking care of you, and turning it over... and leaving him to his...its all we can do but it is a lot...hugs and prayers, Grateful

Ann

I know he's a big boy and responsible for his own well being and decisions....but this begs the question "what was that doctor thinking?"

I know, I know, it`s not your stuff to worry about, nor mine, but you`re right....it is exhausting.

Big hugs and lotsa love ...

mooselips

His diagnosis was prostatitis, so I can understand the Dr.'s pain prescript, cause it is an extremely painful condition.
Continuously had a heating pad on while he was here, and walked like he just got off a horse. And the Dr. supposedly said he was close to being admitted in the hospital for IV antibiotics. If he should get a fever or chills this week, he will be admitted. And of course, the Dr. didn't know his drug history.

So, what is, is. IF they truly HAVE a disorder that is painful, do we have to worry every time that, that will put them back on the ride again?

Callie

That's my fear too. My AH went to a rehab about 3 years ago for Oxy/Methadone addiction. A dentist appt 4 months later that required a root canal started the whole process again with vicodin, which escalated back to Oxy. Of course my AH was not honest with the doctors about his addiction problems in the past. It's a sad, sick cycle.

cece1960

(((Moose)))
My son has had a year full of pneumonia, a torn ab muscle, alkaline burn of the retina and one year ago next week had knee surgery. All the while he was being given scripts for pain, and I "know" this progressed to full blown using again.
But I "know" also, as you said he "can" pull himself back up and on track. I keep telling myself that he's young, and this may take a while for him to figure out how to handle these things in the future.
My heart hurts for him at times, knowing its not so simple to get help for pain and heal. But on the other hand, I've witnessed the comebacks as well as the falls.
Continued prayers Moosie
(((Hugs)))

Chino

I think it's inevitable because we love them. When I asked my daughter if she worries about it, given that she'll be back on opiates soon, she said she dreads it but can't keep thinking about it or it will take her down. She did not like me asking that question and it was one of those "get off my side of the street" moments.

I am following her lead and taking it one day at a time.

historyteach

Ya know, it's really up to them to be honest with their doc about their addiction, of course. We cannot be there to monitor each event in their life.

But, there is a forum here on SR about pain management in recovery, that deals with this issue exactly. Because there may be times that an addict in recovery needs to take a particular med that could trigger their addiction again. And so, strategies are discussed about how to deal with those times. And how important it is to be vigalently honest with the doc; with themselves and with any other person involved.

This life isn't easy, Moose.
But, you've got the tools to handle it with grace and dignity.
And lots of loving support right here.

Shalom!

marle

My daughter needs her wisdom teeth out. She came over the other day and told me that will she ask for Tylenol 3's. I asked her if she would be honest with the doctor about her addiction. She told me no because then they would not give her the pain pills and she can't stand pain. That was the point at which I told her I wanted no part in what she did. Since she was looking for financial help to get the teeth out she decided to drop it. I have heard nothing from her since regarding the wisdom teeth and that is where it is going to stay with me. They can do the right thing, they just choose not to. Hugs, Marle

AquaBlue

I'm so sorry to hear this, Moose.
Uneasy feeling, Mom radar, yep- I know it all too well myself...
Sometimes I wish I was oblivious (not really, but just to spare myself the emotional turmoil!) Just last weekend I had the same feelings- I kept trying to shake it and turn it over to God. I do find that the "out of sight, out of mind" helps me. But, then after a while I get sad, because I miss him (son).

Praying for your strength to turn it over to God.

Jody Hepler

Prayers and hugs and love are with you - wish I lived closerr and we could walk and talk and cry and drink coffee.

Mother radar is usually right!

I hope he can get himself straightened out. And as we know, you'll be ok no matter what he does. But it hurts - and it IS exhausting - and it disrupts our lives - yet again.

Recovery is not for the faint of heart!

Keep us posted.

Love in recovery,
Jody

lostparent

For what it's worth my Daughter just told me today she don't want to tell new Doc about her addition because she's afraid he'll treat her different. She says it's happened often in the past an just don't want to go through it again .

sleepygoat

HI Moose,

It's never a good idea to worry (always better to trust God), but it certainly is appropriate to worry when an addict is prescibed pain killers, especially of their drug of choice was opiates.

My experience:

I had many, many relapses that started with tylenol with codeine for dental stuff. That little buzz I got from taking it as prescribed set off my disease. I didn't always abuse the stuff that same day. Sometimes it was a week or two later- even if I had thrown out the left over medication - I would go out and just get myself some drugs to get high. I was "triggered".

There were also several times (one abdominal surgery in this past 4 1/2 yrs of being clean, for example) that I had to use some pain medication and did NOT wind up relapsing.

For me, its always a big risk. I NEVER take pain meds after a dental procedure anymore and have found out extra strength acetaminophen works fine. For severe pain, yes, I need to take something for a short time and I need to be very honest with myself, my sponsor, and God. AND (this is crucial) I need for someone else to hold the medication and dole it out as prescribed. I CAN NOT manage my own medication by my own hand!!

There is a wonderful little booklet by NA called, "In Times of Illness", that gives excellent guidelines for addicts when faced with true pain.

Oh, and BTW, I had a bad experience also with telling a doctor the truth. He humiliated me and said, "So I guess you just go to lots of doctors and lie to get whatever you want to get you high, huh?" This was after that abdominal surgery, and after he had offered me both pain med and benzo post-op. at first I refused the prescriptions, then came limping back then next day and asked for them!

Just my experience with this stuff. It's scary. It is. If an addict in recovery tells you its no big deal, and they had a history of opiate abuse, they are in denial!

But as for you, Moose, you are still powerless and your son is still responsible for his own recovery, and you are still very much welcome to post about your fear and (I know you will) also post about your strength and how you are getting thru it, when you do.

Ladybugg

moose,

I am coming in late on this.
How is son doing?
I hope your radar is wrong this time.
I am still praying for all the addicts that still suffer and all their loved ones who have to watch them suffer
Hugs, michelle

mooselips

Thank you all for replying.
(I seem to have misplaced my Thank you button...)

You know how things always look better a few days down the road.
He seems better, going to work at 6 a.m., working at his grandmoms putting in new electrical work......
I still have my doubts... he may not be using every day, but occasionally and we all know what that leads to...(my brain says...let it go, let it go)
well, time will tell. I'll just keep praying...

Meanwhile, oldest AS goes to court tomorrow, for his possession of ecstacy pills, he is taking it to trial. If they wouldn't have scheduled it until January, they couldn't have prosecuted him....I know that's what he was hoping for.

His GF told her mom she was 5 and a half months pregnant, and when she got home, she found an abortion pamphlet in her jacket pocket. A tad too late for that now.



Hugs...

CatsPajamas

OOOH Moosie I am so sorry. You know the drill, he may or may not be using, and there's not a dang thing you can do about it either way. As for your older son? The trial is a consequence of his actions. Perhaps his HP has a different plan than what we can see. This is one of those times when you get to pull out ALL of your recovery tools. It's a shame that your sons don't have all the tools as well.... but they know where to go if they decide they want them.

This mom stuff ain't for weenies, is it?

outonalimb

(((((((((moose))))))))

I'm late in responding...
Sending hugs and prayers your way.
Turning it over to HP is always the answer, isn't it? Funny how we know this to be true but how dang hard it can be sometimes. I'm saying a prayer and that your 'letter-goer' is in top working condition !!
Hugs to you Moose...
and prayers for both of your sons.

Serenity Bound

Awww Moose...I can so agree with you, from that first bad feeling to the actual knowing, to not answering the phone. Just found out my AD (she's 30) is using again, and I have to continually turn it over. And yes, definitedly exhausted.

Prayers & hugs coming your way.
Chris