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Stealing clothing and food?

Old 11-12-2008, 03:32 PM
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Stealing clothing and food?

ABF has been a polysubstance abuser in the past. He has seemed fine four a long while until recently. I bought a new coat, and it disappeared into thin air. The only people who were in my room were he and I most of the time. My two kids only use my restroom occasionally and say they have not seen it.

Also, today I thawed 8 chicken legs in the sink, went to pick up my kids from school, got back and the chicken was gone. After he got angry and denied taking my coat, I dismissed it...but now this?...c'mon...some chicken legs?

Question: Does an addict steal things like food or articles of clothing to trade for drugs, when there are DVD players and laptop computers around too?...I'm confused...help....having thoughts that he is maybe taking care of a female addict with kids possibly...I dont know.
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Old 11-12-2008, 03:46 PM
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I'm a recovering addict, and I've seen a little bit of everything stolen, but it's not always for drugs....my ex would just take whatever he wanted at the time...a coat for someone he knew he needed one, food for him or someone else.

I would be pretty upset that he is lying, since there is no one else there to take this stuff. Lying about something simple usually means he's covering up something else...just my experience.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy
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Old 11-12-2008, 03:52 PM
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My ex used to take all kinds of things from peoples houses - rings, knick knacks, pictures, silverware, plates, food, clothes, etc etc. And he would lie about it - even if he was caught red handed. It was part of the psychosis of his addiction. I don't think he knew why he did it. He was just compelled to steal and lie. People who are high don't think like normal people. They do all kinds of weird crazy things that make no sense. They are on drugs.
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Old 11-12-2008, 04:00 PM
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Just curious. How old are your kids?
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Old 11-12-2008, 10:30 PM
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yeah its probably him

Talked to abf after I posted. He says its ridiculous and it hurts deeply that I am implying its him but who the heck else could it be? Well I checked my top drawer for a spare key I had....yeah its gone....so now I got to change my door locks, maybe install a micro cam...sheesh....and most of all distance myself AGAIN to the point of a complete breakup...yeah its happened before a couple of years ago...maybe getting burnt this time will do it. He has lost lots of weight and has been making little or no eye contact, reading suspense novels and drinking lots of beer, eating lots of candy, playing lots of spider solitaire for long periods of time....psychosis??
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Old 11-13-2008, 12:29 PM
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Dont drive yourself crazy trust your gut. My AH recently spent 10 days in jail for retail theft even prosecutor claimed there was a ring of addicts stealing steaks and diapers and baby formula and trading to dealers for 50 cents on the dollar.

Some people will argue with me but Ive seen for myself dealers take almost anything, I often joked Id like to go to their yard sales.

Also AH has taken things and given to others who would appreciate, to feel good about himself or keep up a reputation of a "nice guy"(Same with food)

it started with the little things people wouldnt notice.
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Old 11-13-2008, 01:57 PM
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Just my two cents for what they are worth":

I have a friend with a very controlling, I feel, alcoholic husband. He steals little things of hers just to mess with her head. Seriously. He enjoys the "cat and mouse" of watching her search for things that he knows about and denies knowing about. He's a winner, he is!
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Old 11-13-2008, 02:24 PM
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Or do we stay because we're afraid we don't deserve any better?

I'm living proof that's not true!!!!!
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Old 11-14-2008, 04:15 AM
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locks changed

Well I had thd locks changed, he still is acting like its no big deal...but Im just gonna once again methodically attempt to not communicate, barr him and break things off for good...yes I guess I hold on cuz im gettin older (46), cuz there are few qualified men in my area, because it seems so many people have baggage that leads to violent, bizarre occurrences in relationships these days....so I guess maybe Im better off alone for now, at least to continue focus on me and the kids wellbeing....tired of his long periods of sobriety ...and then out of left field comes this....yes its happened before....and I think I'm convinced now it will happen again and again and again as long as I tolerate...as long as his mom and sister who he lives with enable him, as long as he refuses to get any kind of help.
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Old 11-14-2008, 05:46 AM
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Good for you for changing the locks. Addicts steal, cheat and lie... the addiction makes them do this.

My husband was stealing money out of our accounts but 'hated' himself for it. Would promise himself it would be the last time, then later that night take more money.

Your friend is sick and obviously needs help. Too bad he's not willing to own up and get it. As much as our friends are important, your kids and yourself are more important. take care of them
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Old 11-14-2008, 04:18 PM
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Originally Posted by Godsgirl View Post

...yes I guess I hold on cuz im gettin older (46), cuz there are few qualified men in my area, because it seems so many people have baggage that leads to violent, bizarre occurrences in relationships these days....
The "chicken leg bandit" is a wee bit bizzare. I mean, if your chicken legs are not safe, well then, what is?

You sound like an insightful person and a good mom. You deserve to treat yourself better than this.

Changing the locks is a big step forward.
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