Ann

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go

Transformation through Grief

We're striving for acceptance in recovery - acceptance of our past, other people, our present circumstances, and ourselves. Acceptance brings peace, healing, and freedom - the freedom to take care of ourselves.

Acceptance is not a one step process. Before we achieve acceptance, we go toward it in stages of denial, anger, negotiating, and sadness. We call these stages the grief process. Grief can be frustrating. It can be confusing. We may vacillate between sadness and denial. Our behaviors may vacillate. Others may not understand us. We may neither understand our own behavior nor ourselves while we're grieving our losses. Then one day, things become clear. The fog lifts, and we see that we have been struggling to face and accept a particular reality.

Don't worry. If we are taking steps to take care of ourselves, we will move through this process at exactly the right pace. Be understanding with yourself and others for the very human way we go through transition.

Today, I will accept the way I go through change. I will accept the grief process, and its stages, as the way people accept loss and change.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

imallright

Thanks, Ann. This one hit home for me. I am trying to come out of this fog, mire... call it what you will and feel some happiness and peace. It is a slow process and one that I have to accept will take time and move at the right pace. It's very difficult to endure this process... but what choice do we have? The only choice in my mind, is to move forward. Could sit and "stay the same"... but to do that is to die. Thanks for the inspiration and strength to move ahead..... one more step.

Ann

I have had to go through several grieving processes the past 10 years, loss of people I loved, loss of relationships, loss of the person I used to be (yes this counts too) and there was no easy way to do it.

My program, the support of wonderful people like you, and help from my higher power who I call God all saw me through the dark times and I am grateful today that although darkness may visit now and again, I no longer have to live there.

Hugs

SerenityGirl

Thanks Ann, Acceptance is major for me, I think I am in the middle of it right now, I am just realizing that before I can go forward with my recovery I really do have to accept things just the way they are, myself and others and my life....

itisatruth

This hit home with me too. I'm so critical of myself when it comes to what I think I should do and what I actually do. I'm doing things for me, working my recovery, and letting go of things I can't control, but still, it is so hard to accept changes and/or force change that I'm apparently not ready for. It's hard to let something go that I believed in for so long (my marriage). Acceptance of lost hopes and dreams has had me stuck in denial for so long.

So, today I will accept that what I am doing is right for me today, trust that I will know when I'm ready to make a change, and give myself the benefit of trusting that I will make it through this process.

Thank you.

imallright

Itsa... I hear you! LIttle steps I guess and at least for me being aware of the fact that I am working on me is huge... it's ok to work on me, and I need to work on me. Seems so basic, but it is really so complex... for me anyways.
Keep moving forward.