NeedingHelp7

Do I not shut my mouth. I asked AH to take son and I to his eye appt. Next thing you know I'm mouthing off to him telling him the same things over and over again in the eye Dr. appt. He doesn't hear a thing. He is really getting sicker and sicker. I asked him if he thinks"robbing the craddle" is ok with him. Other woman 33 and he 57. That is the age of his oldest daughter!!! I asked him what he would think if I had a man in here in bed with me, what our child would think? He's doing that with the other woman with 3 children in her home.
And he still doesn't think he's on drugs. Xanax and percocet together are the ones we know of so far.... and whatever other ones we don't know about, and he still doesn't think he's on drugs!!! This is so frustrating.

When I'm around him it's so greiveous because everything about him is a bad memory. Sometimes I test him to see if there has been any changes, but I end up feeling bad because I didn't shut my mouth, there is no breaking through his denial, and he thinks he okay, and normal.

Help!! Another set back. I don't know if I can handle being around him 2 times a week and continue to be sane.

Impurrfect

I don't know...I think I just hit bottom with talking to my ex, too. I got tired of feeling like I was banging my head against the wall. Not to say I don't STILL run my mouth when I shouldn't, but I am getting better.

I just learned to walk away...even if it's just a few feet. It gives me time to think about it and ask myself if what I'm about to say is going to do any good or make a difference. Most of the time, the answer is "no" and I just bite my tongue.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

winnie12

My X doesnt speak to us anymore - he doesnt drink or do drugs (has some other serious issues) but he just stopped answering his phone a few months ago. So every now and then i get crazy and call his voice mail and scream at him. I dont really feel bad about it in fact I have to admit that I kinda enjoy it lol - he's a jerk for not talking to his daughter.

So if I were you I wouldnt worry about it - we're just human you know.

BayAreaPhoenix

(((NH7)))

They don't make it easy. I'm sorry you feel like you can't or don't want to deal with him and still have to. That is not easy. I'm sure you will get to your point where you give up testing... In the meantime, take care of yourself!

cassandra2

I stopped "banging my head against the wall" with my abf and now he suddenly is beginning to open up to me and tell me things about the way he is thinking. I just add here and there but mostly listen. He told me he wanted to be happy again. He said he knew how and the way to do it but......He stopped there. FEAR. Fear of the unknown I guess.

Sometimes not being heard works better then trying to be heard. Just a thought.

outtolunch

I have visions of his cell phone number on a wall in a public bathroom.

" Having a bad day, call XXX-XXXX and scream at my X, please".

NeedingHelp7

My AH is insane, and I can't stand being around him any longer.

Tonight I remembered something. As soon as we got home, my son age 6 said
"mommy mommy my teeth are moving, and he started crying." I looked in his mouth and everything looked fine. But he felt his teeth moving! I didn't know what to do, I thought he was feeling things, possibly hallucinating, this was very weird. Then I remembered his father kissed him quite a few times goodbye tonight, and I wonder if drugs were in AH saliva from kissing him, therefore entering sons mouth and making his mouth feel that way. That is such a scary thought isn't it! But it's one I've worried about before. AH is very toxic the things he is on, and I always worried about him kissing son, and his toxic saliva. I remember when I used to kiss AH, I would feel weird afterwards. OMG, It's his saliva I have to worry about too, and hugs because that stuff comes right out of his skin. And I know he doesn't shower but a few times a week. How can I tell son he can't kiss and hug daddy. What do I do about this? If I call someone about this they'll think I'm insane.

I swear I'm not insane about this.

BellasNona

If your AH is popping pills I can't imagine there is resadue (spelling) from them, but if he's rubbing coke on his gums you never know. On the other hand children say some crazy things. My granddaughter told me last night that she saw someone standing on the stairs looking at her, she was really terrified to walk near them. Don't ever think your crazy about your husbands addiction, if you can think it it could happen. My husband comes up with the craziest stuff and I also think If I have sex with him the drugs would transfer to me. Anyone associated with an addict will think they are going crazy one time or another. Check back with your son on his teeth in a day or two. Maybe check with his dentist. Sorry for your heartache. Prayers and good thoughts

winnie12

Now that's an idea! I'll save that for when i'm having a really bad day. lol

beegee

Love the number on the wall! LOL I think walking away is better for your health. Know it is hard to do I need to practice this myself because all the yelling does nothing but upset us. I don't think they hear a word!

Try to close your mind from these things. Tell yourself it only gets your BP up and your upset and he is just oblivious to it all cause he wants to be!
Prayers for you...

hello-kitty

?

I ask myself that same question EVERY DAY! At work, in my personal life, in relation to my mother, my addict-ex... everything.

It's one of my personal issues that I need to focus on while I let my ex focus on his issues (ie addiction).

I just picture Mr. Evil in the Austin Powers movies saying "ZIP IT!" everytime a word gets out of my mouth. Sometimes it works and sometimes, I need to work harder at it.

NeedingHelp7

Thats what its like? So why do I continue to do it, I should know better by now. He's still not getting it. Why do I think if I am the one to talk to him out of everyone else, he'll get it. It never happens, and then I end up feeling overwhelmed, and losing sleep. I keep doing the same thing expecting different results.
It's so hard knowing he's on those mix of meds (percocet xanax) again. They put him in such a disconnected zombie state of mind. His eyes were hugely opened, looking psychotic. I hate when his eyes look like that!!! And I swear....I feel the toxicity in the air in AH presence, thats how sensitive I am to it.

I've thought the same crazy thoughts Bellas.

Son is fine today. He didn't experience the teeth moving except about 15 minutes. He was so scared and crying! I wonder now if it was a twitching of some sort that I couldn't see but he could feel.

After we got home, he also said..."mommy you've never had a gold medal before, here" and he slid a gold medal necklace (he got from school) over my head around my neck. This gold medal says "WINNER." What a sweet one he is.