Rehab Trouble Already
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Marietta, GA
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Rehab Trouble Already
So my AS has been in rehab 11 days and already has trouble. if he gets kicked out he is facing state YDC rehab - which is not the kind of place that is going to do him any good - its more like jail than rehab.
So his story is some kid was huffing freone from the air conditioner unit in the yard. (That alone blows my mind - what wont these kids get high on.) My AS claims he walked back there to see what the kid was doing - the kid ran off and then a counselor walked over and sees my AS standing there and determines that he must be huffing it. As far as I know he's never been into huffing but who knows - nothing really suprises me anymore.
He claims that then they brought these two kids in to talk to them and they both blame the other. He also says that the other kids who witnessed it all stood behind him saying it wasnt my son but was the other kid who was also acting messed up. Next thing you know my AS is mad, a fight starts, and he gives this other kid a black eye.
He claims that after they all talked the counselors believed him and that they arent going to throw him out but who knows what to believe. He is a pretty charming kid and has a way with adults and claims the other kid isnt getting along with the counselors so they took my son's side. This much I'm apt to believe because its actually been one of our problems - everyone likes him so much that they never wanted to turn him in. He has always gotten away with more than other kids did because of his diabetes and because adults really like him and gave him more chances then they should. My son is probably the only kid who at YDC who got letters from his vice-principal, teachers, nurses, etc. - they love him.
I got upset but controlled myself. Just told him that he knows what's going to happen if he gets thrown out and next time he gets mad that he needs to fight within himself because the consequences are going to be the loss of his freedom. I told him that when he gets mad he may not think he cares about what the consequences were but later he would regret it.
Today, I'm going to be on pins and needs everytime the phone rings - waiting to see if they toss him out. If he gets thrown out of there then our lives will yet again be in turmoil. Part of me is realistic that anytime you put a bunch of teenage boys together you're going to have a certain amount of fights but this facility is understandably clear that violence is not tolerated. He does have an anger management problem and i just pray that he doesnt blow this because of his temper. No matter whose fault it was/is he has to control himself. i wish this kid would stop sabotaging himself. I know that i have done all that i can for him getting him where he is - if he's thrown out i truly cannot protect him from the consequences.
So his story is some kid was huffing freone from the air conditioner unit in the yard. (That alone blows my mind - what wont these kids get high on.) My AS claims he walked back there to see what the kid was doing - the kid ran off and then a counselor walked over and sees my AS standing there and determines that he must be huffing it. As far as I know he's never been into huffing but who knows - nothing really suprises me anymore.
He claims that then they brought these two kids in to talk to them and they both blame the other. He also says that the other kids who witnessed it all stood behind him saying it wasnt my son but was the other kid who was also acting messed up. Next thing you know my AS is mad, a fight starts, and he gives this other kid a black eye.
He claims that after they all talked the counselors believed him and that they arent going to throw him out but who knows what to believe. He is a pretty charming kid and has a way with adults and claims the other kid isnt getting along with the counselors so they took my son's side. This much I'm apt to believe because its actually been one of our problems - everyone likes him so much that they never wanted to turn him in. He has always gotten away with more than other kids did because of his diabetes and because adults really like him and gave him more chances then they should. My son is probably the only kid who at YDC who got letters from his vice-principal, teachers, nurses, etc. - they love him.
I got upset but controlled myself. Just told him that he knows what's going to happen if he gets thrown out and next time he gets mad that he needs to fight within himself because the consequences are going to be the loss of his freedom. I told him that when he gets mad he may not think he cares about what the consequences were but later he would regret it.
Today, I'm going to be on pins and needs everytime the phone rings - waiting to see if they toss him out. If he gets thrown out of there then our lives will yet again be in turmoil. Part of me is realistic that anytime you put a bunch of teenage boys together you're going to have a certain amount of fights but this facility is understandably clear that violence is not tolerated. He does have an anger management problem and i just pray that he doesnt blow this because of his temper. No matter whose fault it was/is he has to control himself. i wish this kid would stop sabotaging himself. I know that i have done all that i can for him getting him where he is - if he's thrown out i truly cannot protect him from the consequences.
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((((winnie12)))
It's all part of a plan his H.P. has for him, so try not to worry.
It's a good thing for him to be responsible for his actions, maybe he'll think a little more about his anger issues.
Hugs to you.....
It's all part of a plan his H.P. has for him, so try not to worry.
It's a good thing for him to be responsible for his actions, maybe he'll think a little more about his anger issues.
Hugs to you.....
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Winnie)))
I'm sure the rehab is used to dealing with this type of thing. I don't think you can have a bunch of teenagers in one place and NOT know how to deal with it. I'm thinking they will work with him on his anger issues.
I can imagine it's hard, just waiting and wondering. Any chance you can call his counselor and get HIS take on it, rather than worrying about it? I wouldn't normally recommend it, but your son is only 15, so I think I would do it.
Moose is right, though...HP is in control. My friend always tells me "God has you in His hands" and I picture me sitting in this huge hand and it helps me. Maybe you can picture the same for you and your son?
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
I'm sure the rehab is used to dealing with this type of thing. I don't think you can have a bunch of teenagers in one place and NOT know how to deal with it. I'm thinking they will work with him on his anger issues.
I can imagine it's hard, just waiting and wondering. Any chance you can call his counselor and get HIS take on it, rather than worrying about it? I wouldn't normally recommend it, but your son is only 15, so I think I would do it.
Moose is right, though...HP is in control. My friend always tells me "God has you in His hands" and I picture me sitting in this huge hand and it helps me. Maybe you can picture the same for you and your son?
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
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I'm kind of afraid if i call I'll just make it worse. if they have let it go then me calling might just bring it back up - I dont want to make things bigger just because i'm stressed. If the counselors do really like him they may have toned it down in their report. I have to let this be his problem even if it drives me crazy wanting to know (that's the codie in me who has to know everything). but i cant shake feeling that it is more serious because why would he tell me unless he was worried too.
Someone sent me an email yesterday that i really like, it said "You are Loved in His Grip of Grace." I really liked the sound of that. I just need to keep reminding myself that if he gets thrown out then that's what was meant to be. (if i say that enough i might start believing it.)
Someone sent me an email yesterday that i really like, it said "You are Loved in His Grip of Grace." I really liked the sound of that. I just need to keep reminding myself that if he gets thrown out then that's what was meant to be. (if i say that enough i might start believing it.)
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Originally Posted by winnie12 
but i cant shake feeling that it is more serious because why would he tell me unless he was worried too.
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Aw Winnie....it doesn't every let up huh? I definately know the needles and pins thing, but I'm with the others who said, they have to be used to things like this happening with a bunch of teenage boys. Say a prayer, cross those fingers, and see what happens. As hard as it sounds...
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He called last night and said that they decided on his punishment and are just going to take away his priviledges for 30 days. He would have gotten leave starting with two hours soon and they also take the kids out for activities and he wont get to do those activities either. Might be good in the long run because I have been a little tentative about the manipulations that would come in once he started getting leaves. He's so obsessed with seeing his friends and I'm not going to go along with that. The more time he is away from them and the more therapy he gets in before seeing them the better. So I get another month of not having to address that situation with him. So looks like you were all right and this might be a blessing in disguise.
He did ask me to bring him some things but for the first time not things I have to buy - just things from his room. So all is well. Thank you all for your support.
He did ask me to bring him some things but for the first time not things I have to buy - just things from his room. So all is well. Thank you all for your support.
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breathe, breathe. and, from "Finding Nemo," think happy thoughts! think happy thoughts!
from reading post after post from parents, our biggest challenge seems to be to not get sucked in to our addict children's dilemmas. I easily have the stance with two non-addict sons - "man up!" But there's something about the addict children we have that we back off from asking them to "man/woman up!"
just random thoughts - hang in there mom, sounds like your journey is one of growing wisdom...
from reading post after post from parents, our biggest challenge seems to be to not get sucked in to our addict children's dilemmas. I easily have the stance with two non-addict sons - "man up!" But there's something about the addict children we have that we back off from asking them to "man/woman up!"
just random thoughts - hang in there mom, sounds like your journey is one of growing wisdom...
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Join Date: Jun 2008
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Winnie, Sorry I am late with this but so happy things are still working for your son in rehab. they say thigs happen for a reason maybe thais was it to keep him away from his friends alittle longer. HP working...
I know when my daughter was in rahab she wrote to everyone (buddies) I think that was because that was all she knew, I was worried about the old friends too but when she came home she didn't really associate with them like I was fearful of. Now that she has her new phone I really can't say if she talks with them or not?
Good luck with all this and I will say a prayer for you both.
I know when my daughter was in rahab she wrote to everyone (buddies) I think that was because that was all she knew, I was worried about the old friends too but when she came home she didn't really associate with them like I was fearful of. Now that she has her new phone I really can't say if she talks with them or not?
Good luck with all this and I will say a prayer for you both.
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