Reporting on the trip to son's halfway house
 

Friends,
From my previous posts most will remember I asked for prayers and good thoughts as my husband and I took my adult son (age 32) to the halfway/treatment center in Atlanta, Georgia. He has been clean for ten and a half months. So here's what we encountered...........
First of all the center is very stuctured and really is more than a halfway house in that they have curfew, they have pretty strong rules and regulations. Here are just a few........
1. You must put in three applications a day for employment.
2. You are on the buddy system unless you are applying for work. You don't
leave the facility without a buddy.
3. On Sundays you and your roommates have the evening meal together as a
family unit to facilitate friendship and learning about each other's day to
day to day activities/ problems etc.
4. They drug test twice a month.
5. Once you have a job you are expected to help pay your own way. Until
my son finds a job we'll assist him as long as he is working the program.
The hardest thing for me to do was accept the bare bones part and that I really didn't want to accept where he had to go. I had a very hard time with that. I kept repeating over and over that this just could not (meaning the bare bones facility) I began to think things through and I thought.........
It could be much worse. Sure, he is unemployed but he is sober and willing to look for work. Sure this place isn't on par with say a Holiday Inn BUT he is with other people who are working on their sobriety. (some have been given a chance to go there instead of jail)I know to stay in the program he must do the 90/90 meetings and he has a counselor who is working with him too. This morning he is going on a job interview and seems upbeat . I guess I am saying I have much to be thankful for and I am trying very hard to hang onto that. This is his first time out in the "real world" in ten months . As his couselor said......."Your son is not facing cravings now. He will be facing obsession." I really hope and pray he will stand strong. I do realize there is nothing I can do but mom's never stop their caring and concern. Please say a prayer for him as this really is the first day of a new life for him. Please pray that someone by word or deed will show him a kindness. That might be just the the encouragement he needs.........just for today............thank you one and all, hugs, dixied

((((Dixied))))

You have come such a long way! Of course this is hard for you, because you're a good mom and you love him. I can see why you have mixed feelings, but you are focusing on the positives.

It sounds like a good place to me, with a lot of support. We RA's NEED structure and rules. He's upbeat, has a job interview and that is just awesome!

You're supporting his recovery, haven't been enabling him, and are dealing with YOUR feelings about all this.

Good job, mom!

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

Sounds like a fairly typical halfway house to me.

Sounds like a great place. i've dropped my son off at a few halfway, 3/4 houses and those rules are very common.
It's a big adjustment for your son (and you) but it's a great step forward.

Prayers for you and your son.

thanks for the update! Glad he is upbeat--a good attitude will take him along way in recovery as well as life.

The pain of the halfway house I know too well! However, I have learned it could be much worse!!

my best,
susan

Dixied,
When my youngest AS was in the halfway house, it sounded much the same.

What a wonderful chance for your son, I pray he finds a job, because I think that is the biggest challenge of all, with so many people looking for employment. A job helps them build their self esteem, and gives them hope towards a better future.



Hugs....

I am going to hope that your son, by word or deed, shows someone else a kindness. It's all up to him.

I admire your strength.

out to lunch,
don't know that it is strength in so much that I have than I am pretty darned tired of my head hitting that brick wall........ the writing on my wall said, "Listen to me. Do it my way." I can admit that I just wanted him to stop all of this and do it my way. And it just wasn't working too well.......so I am going to stand back(try to) and hope and pray and come here for support. I just got a phone call from him and he said that people were packed in the office applying for this one particular job. (Welcome to the real world, right?) Anyway, he said they would seperate the people in regards to second interviews and he feels good but doesn't plan to stop looking and rely on this one job.He is going for two more interviews today. He bought a bus pass for a week since we would not pay for his car insurance (huge step for us to say no). So I really am trying to step back and do the right thing. Encourage him. Offer support but not unsolicited advice. Keep the thoughts and prayers coming. I need encouragement too..........thanks. dixied

(((Dixied)))

I think you are doing an awesome job. Good for you on the bus pass. He can get anywhere he needs to with the "breeze card" for Marta. I used the same thing for over a year before I got my car.

Just because we realize that our way isn't working any more, doesn't mean it's EASY to let go. It takes practice and none of us are perfect at it.

Give yourself a pat on the back, because you have come a long way.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

When my daughter came home from the halfway house, I really did not think that she would find a job. She had not worked in over 2 years and her last job she was fired for a no show. But I stayed hopeful and she was offered two different jobs in the same weekend. So sending prayers for your son that he finds the job that he needs and that he has the tools to avoid the temptations that are always around no matter where he is. Hugs, Marle

Saying "no thanks", (I have had my fill of chaos), is strength. This is so hard for we parents to do. It does not come easy, does it?

The bus pass thing is huge, for both of you.

Wow, Dix...you are doing great. I am saying a GREAT BIG PRAYER for your son, that someone shows him some kindness today, and he will continue being upbeat. I think it's great, and I know..scarey at the same time. My AS just got his 30 day coin last week, and he wrote that it was a great feeling. So I can imagine how good 10 months will make him feel.
Hoping he had a great day in his new world.......

Eileen

Good for him and good for you. It sounds like a great place to start again with support in place all around him.

I'm happy for both of you, and I love watching the miracles unfold.

Hugs

Wow sounds like our recovery program in a nutshell, Dixied. I think it is wonderful! Keeping you and your son in my thoughts and prayers...I think you are both going to do terrific! :)

(((((Dixied)))))

I lived in what they called back then a Recovery House for Alcoholic Women with many many more rules and structure than what you have described for 90 days.

IT WAS THE BEST THING I COULD HAVE DONE. No I didn't like it at first, but I also found out that as my 'attitude' improved, I got a job, I started showing 'progress' some of the 'rules' became more lenient and I LEARNED SO SO MUCH about 'surviving' ie Living Sober and Clean out there in that big wide world, and I was 36.

Look on the bright side.........................he was willing, this is the next step in his recovery, and it will help him to make him a better person.

J M H O

Love and hugs,