Says she's ready for detox
 

My daughter went to see her therapist today. She told me she's ready for detox when the wires come off her jaw Tuesday. "Wow" is about all I can say right now. She said she's at that point between using the opiates as prescribed and abusing them, so she doesn't want a refill. She thinks she can handle the pain and stretch out the rest of her meds until Tuesday.

If she bites off more than she can chew (bad pun given the wired jaw), she knows she can go back to the ER and get a refill, head to the methadone clinic, or get back on subs.

I had a feeling she was fighting with the beast the last two days and knew it was only a matter of time. She's been working through the physical and emotional pain, had some mood swings, but has been reaching out and asking for help. Still, I did not expect that kind of honesty from her.

All I said was OK, I'll make calls tomorrow and see if the detox facility will be able to handle her physical issues. I also thanked her for her honesty, to which she replied "I'm just screwing myself over if I'm not."

Out of all her injuries, it's her face that has made the greatest impression. She knows the scars will fade and we'll send her to a plastic surgeon if need be. But it's seeing herself altered right now that has made the difference. She misses the person she used to be, before she took a detour in life. Every time she looks in the mirror she sees a reminder.

Though I've been praying and asking that God helps her do the next right thing, and me too, this one kind of blindsided me. I hope and pray for more :)

WOW! Chino - that is wonderful news! Music to my ears that would be!

Sounds as though your daughter is on the right track and is AWARE!

I'm proud of your daughter..... and I'm also proud of you - because your recovery is shining!!!!!!! :)

BIG love!

xoxo

(((Chino)))

Your daughter is simply amazing. I'm glad she realizes she's in a "slippery space" and is ready for detox. She (and you) have had to deal with so much during this time, but you both have done it remarkably well, and it sounds like your relationship is getting even stronger.

I'm glad she could be honest with you...a very good example of both of you working hard on your recoveries. I wouldn't tell my dad if I were getting into stinkin' thinkin'. Although I know he would want to help, he has never learned about addiction (doesn't really want to) and it would send him into a panic. It wouldn't do either of us any good.

With your daughter, though, she knows she can be honest and you will support her, but will still let her do what she needs to do. Good job, mom.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

Sounds very hopeful that this is the beginning of more good to come.

I think I just got blindsided again! It never dawned on me that her being honest with me about stinkin' thinkin' was a reflection of my recovery, too. I just thought I was doing good because I didn't freak out. I think I like this place I'm in right now and I'm going to bed on that note, thanking God for holding my hand :)

Chino, My daughter was looking at pictures of herself before drugs and she made the comment, "That was when I was beautiful." She is still beautiful but inside I don't think that she feels beautiful because of all the ugly things she did during her addiction. It does change them and not just the physical self. I am glad that your daughter is recognizing the hold that addiction had on her and that she does not want to go back to that ugly place. And that you realize that you don't either. I am sending prayers that your daughter's detox goes as smoothly as possible and that she gets back to that good place she was before this accident happened. Hugs, Marle

I'm so happy for you and your daughter..

I'm praying many prayers for the two of you

glad she is continuing in her recovery. Great post, thanks.
susan:Val004:

Chino, your journey through with your beautiful daughter continues to be such a shining example of recovery...thank you...continued prayers for you both...:hug: Gratful

Nice to hear GOOD news. Best to you and your daughter.

During the drive to her appt she said she realized how ugly on the inside she had become. She was the typical ugly duckling when she was younger. She needed braces but couldn't get them until later than usual, because other orthodontic work had to be done first.

We all know how cruel kids can be and they didn't spare her. When those braces came off at the same time she filled out, she was suddenly a swan and everyone noticed. She did some modeling for bridal publications and shows before her addiction.

She flaunted her beauty like a weapon, exacting revenge on her world. She didn't realize she was hurting herself more than others.

I asked her if she remembered the girl she used to be before braces, and that's when she cried. She wants that girl back more than anything else. She said that's when people loved her for who she was, not what she looked like. She said that's when she was a good person.

I told her, and so did her therapist, that girl is still there waiting for her.

The irony is she'll need braces again because her teeth were knocked around. She gets a do-over, she literally see's the correlation between then and now, and all I can do is pray and hope she doesn't let go of that girl again.

Aww Chino - She really seems like she gets it. I'm so happy for HER and YOU. She's had to learn it somehow. To think that she's been in the throws of all of this and could READILY abuse drugs, but chose not to is HUGE. I couldn't say that about my ah. He'll take it legal or not. So proud of all of you. This is a HUGE step.

Fabulous news.

Rest well, knowing this will work out.

A short update:

After her meds ran out she went on a short 4 day course of methadone because of pain, then skipped a few doses to gauge it. Saturday she told me no more methadone, it was getting her high and she liked it too much.

She didn't want to go to detox because it's a hospital and she's sick of them. The only reason I believed her is because she spent the last few days in bed trying to detox on her own, sleeping as much as possible.

She finally got up and asked for a 8mg suboxone then split it in half. I have no idea what she'll do next but I know what neither of us has done and that's relapse. I am proud of us both and grateful to a power higher and better than my own :)

(((Chino)))

You and your daughter are awesome. Once we A's really WANT recovery, it's amazing the strength we can show to guard it with our lives.

I think she's doing just what she needs to do, and so are you.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

:c029:

I am grinning from ear to ear and so happy for you both....beautiful!

This is just amazing! For her to have clearance for these drugs because of her jaw, and to TURN THEM DOWN!!!

Beautiful Thread!

She's a brave girl, and she is so lucky to have your support through all this.

Special blessings for both of you.

Hugs

It's her jaw, a fractured pelvis, fractured rib and fractured vertebrae. I looked over my notes the other night and the doctors said she'll have pain for about 3 months total, but after the initial 4-6 weeks it can be managed with mega doses of ibuprofen and muscle relaxers. She knows there are other alternatives, too, and her recovery is more important to her right now than the pain, thank you God.

Thankfully I've had a little recovery time too because I haven't let her occasional cranky moods affect me in the last month. I let them go in one ear and out the other.

Before I forget, I have to mention a twilight zone type of thing. Or you can call it divine intervention. 16 months ago a car almost hit my daughter on the deadliest road in our county. They over corrected and went airborne, hitting a tree. One of the passengers was ejected through a window. My daughter watched it happen in her rearview mirror.

She stopped and went back to the wreck, discovering they were friends of hers. Everyone was fine but they couldn't find Brandon. She found him just as he was dying and held him in her arms, not leaving him until the coroner covered him up and took him away.

It was not more than 30 ft from the place where my daughter was injured (she was a passenger). Every doctor said she was incredibly lucky because her eye wasn't lost, her spine didn't break (it was T1) and she could walk, her hip healed correctly and didn't require surgery.

A friend pointed out to me the other day that maybe it was Brandon watching over her, because she had watched over him as he left this world. When I shared this with my daughter she was floored. She went through a lot of therapy getting past Brandon's passing, but this time she remembered every moment with bittersweet joy and humility instead of terror.

Ann, thank you, she is brave and I feel I'm lucky to have her to support :)

I am curious, can you share what medications she is on for pain management that are not opiates.