Just to let you know..

Old 10-22-2008, 08:40 AM
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Just to let you know..

I failed at the whole thing with her. I hit a brick wall and a temper that is lik a hurricane. I give up. I am the enemy and she isn't talking to me ever.
Well fine.. stick a fork in me as they say, I am done.:wtf2

Last edited by beegee; 10-22-2008 at 08:41 AM. Reason: word
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Old 10-22-2008, 08:42 AM
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My daughter has made that threat a million times. Each time I thought that I would never hear from her again. And then I thought that it is better that we don't. You can detach in anger. It works believe me. Later the love will come back. And she is not gone forever. She will come back when she needs something. That is when you have to be really careful. Hugs, Marle
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Old 10-22-2008, 09:33 AM
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I can't add anything to what marle said, so I'm sending you hugs instead.
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Old 10-22-2008, 11:55 AM
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Multiply that by 3 for me. Each one of my girls, not just my addict, has told me the same thing whenever I've said something they didn't want to hear. It was one of the remarks that made me know I had gotten through to them, that I had finally struck a nerve and it was usually because they knew what they had done wasn't the right thing at the time. They'd show me, like never talking to me again was a bad thing!! LOL
Sometimes the ones closest to the situation have to be the enemy for awhile.

Like Marle said, they return and usually asking for something so be on guard. Sorry you couldn't hold your cool, can't say I would have either. Sometimes our good intentions just fly right out the window. Sorry and hugs to you.
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Old 10-22-2008, 01:27 PM
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Thanks Marle, Chino and Baxter...How come they can seem so happy and chipper and I feel and look like crapola. Your probably all right and I should try to enjoy this quiet time. Lol And I shall beware....Thanks
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Old 10-22-2008, 03:35 PM
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Coming in a little late here, but I agree. In my case its' my niece, and despite 4 1/2 years of strife and even my calling the cops on her that landed her in jail, when she needs something, she comes back.

beegee - I've asked myself the same questions about why they can seem so happy while I suffer. The answer I came up with has several aspects.

1. They aren't really happy, they are distracted, deluded or high - a very different thing than true contentment and happiness. Addicts are a slave to drugs and the lifestyle they created. When I looked closer, the "happiness" is a front or a lie they tell themselves and others to keep from the realization of the true state of their lives.

2. I am sad because I see and can take in the full realization of reality.

Prayers to you and hope that you can find peace and detachment... it's always a long journey when you love an addict.
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Old 10-22-2008, 04:47 PM
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Oldest AS gets mad, doesn't get what HE wants, and PROMISES he won't EVER speak to me again. It unfirtunately never lasts more than a few days...

Enjoy your quiet time....she'll be a calling.
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Old 10-22-2008, 04:52 PM
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Beegee, I can't tell you how many times my AD has told me that I'd never hear from her again. Marle has it right, you WILL hear from her as soon as she needs something.

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Old 10-22-2008, 10:55 PM
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Sorry things didn't go well, but she'll be back.

We always lash out at the people we're "safe" with...the ones who we know will love us, even when we act like jerks. It's not fair, but it's true.

You probably DID strike a nerve with her, and rather than admit you were right, she will storm off, say mean things, then wait until she thinks it's blown over and probably act like nothing happened.

I've done it, too, and had it done to me. Didn't like being on either end of it (even if I acted happy and cheerful), but at least I understand it more now.

I also agree with Marle...I've detached in anger, and it worked until I was ready to move past it.

Hugs and prayers!

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Old 10-22-2008, 11:09 PM
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Thinking of you xoxooxox
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Old 10-23-2008, 12:27 PM
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Thanks everyone again. Amy I swear when you talk it's her perfectly
You know I will say this now, yesterday was my Birthday and she ignored me never said anything to me. Well, it hurt of course it did. But I got to thinking about what you all have said and I realized something I hate to admit.
She loves pushing my buttons to hurt me when were fighting. She just loves it and I am a true emotional Libra. It dawned on me when I didn't responf to forgetting everything and lets be buddies I pushed her button then she started on mine. I mean when I realized this toda, it is so easy to see everything she is doing are the things I hate the most or hurt the most you know. And I am gonna stop the BS crying and get my act together. Because again I believe your all right, she isn't so happy inside, she just acts better. I can put on a front, I can do it....:atv This is so simple but it took my whole life to see it???? Thank you all again
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