Neverwanted

My ex ad fiance was opiate dependent. I have some observations and realized some things along the way that I would have not known had I not met him. I am not well versed in addiction.

I noticed he had a lot of acid reflux and was Dxd shortly thereafter with Hiatal Hernia. I read that chewing opiates or pills may cause this. Can someone clarify?

I also read some addicts will take many of those mini thins (ephedrine). He had a pill pack his bandmates found...over 21 were missing and they kicked him out of the band. (Of course I was blamed for that). He told me he has asthma but I have never seen him with a script for one or any indication he has asthma. His mother gave him inhalers when I saw her last...they were hers, not his. What gives???? He said the mini thins help his so called asthma but he takes way more than needed and his hands shake uncontrollably. He suffers from some sort od chronic depression and needs a thorough eval but has mentioned the action of these meds help pick him up out of the blues.

He has intestinal bleeding from constipation brought on by opiate usage. He suffered two serious bloodclots and became anemic and was hospitalized. He was encouraged to have the surgery to fix the hemorrhoids but refused. H ewas able to stay on opiates this way - ie: he was in pain from them.

His Dr prescribed over 100 hydros at one point and I was shocked. What Doctor would do that?????? This was for the hernia. He wont get that repaired either.

He is band aiding his illnesses like a breaking dam. Wont fix anything I guess to stay on drugs.

He couldnt afford or find a dr to prescribe him OXY (he had one before) or hydro, so he orders Tramadol online and has taken soma with it. ("ULTRAM® ER is an effective prescription pain medication approved by the FDA for the management of moderate to moderately severe chronic pain in adults who require around-the-clock treatment of their pain for an extended period of time. ")

He is not under a Doctors care for this script. He also ordered Fiorocet from online without a script for his last GF. :

"Important information about Fioricet
Do not use Fioricet if you have used an MAO inhibitor such as isocarboxazid (Marplan), phenelzine (Nardil), rasagiline (Azilect), selegiline (Eldepryl, Emsam), or tranylcypromine (Parnate) within the past 14 days. Serious, life-threatening side effects can occur if you take Fioricet before the MAO inhibitor has cleared from your body. Do not take more of Fioricet than is recommended. An overdose of acetaminophen can cause damage to your liver. Do not use any other over-the-counter cough, cold, allergy, or menstrual pain medication without first asking your doctor or pharmacist. If you take certain products together you may accidentally take too much of a certain drug. Read the label of any other medicine you are using to see if it contains acetaminophen or caffeine. Avoid drinking alcohol. It can increase the risk of liver damage while you are taking acetaminophen. If you drink more than three alcoholic beverages per day, do not take acetaminophen without your doctor's advice, and never take more than 2 grams (2000 mg) per day.
What should I discuss with my healthcare provider before taking Fioricet?
Butalbital may be habit-forming and should be used only by the person it was prescribed for. Fioricet should never be shared with another person, especially someone who has a history of drug abuse or addiction. Keep the medication in a secure place where others cannot get to it.

Do not take this medication without first talking to your doctor if you drink more than three alcoholic beverages per day or if you have had alcoholic liver disease (cirrhosis). You may not be able to take medication that contains acetaminophen.
You should not take Fioricet if you are allergic to acetaminophen, butalbital, or caffeine, or if you have porphyria.

Before using Fioricet, tell your doctor if you are allergic to any drugs, or if you have:

*

kidney disease,
*

liver disease; or
*

a history of mental illness or suicidal thoughts.

If you have any of these conditions, you may need a dose adjustment or special tests to safely take Fioricet.
FDA pregnancy category C. This medication may be harmful to an unborn baby. Tell your doctor if you are pregnant or plan to become pregnant during treatment. Fioricet can pass into breast milk and may harm a nursing baby. Do not use Fioricet without telling your doctor if you are breast-feeding a baby. "


What bothers me is he has a history of suicide and chronic depression.

Can anyone else relate to or know about these medications to the extent of addicts using them? Have any of you been versed in the health related problems I described as being brought on by addiction??????

BayAreaPhoenix

Depression is a symptom and a cause of opiate addiction (as well as other addictions)... You can't fix any of his problems or issues for him, he has do that for himself. I understand the need to understand, but what are you doing for you? It's hard to accept, but really it's the only thing you can do.

My soon to be Ex AH is an opiate addict. He avoids Drs. like the plague. He has had a few check ups with high levels on his liver that I attributed to him taking blood tests during allergy season (I didn't know about the opiate addiction and abuse), so I thought his allergy meds were causing the high-levels. Who knows what other medical issues he has going on. Anything is possible. Liver, kidney, intestinal issues. Constipation and not urinating enough, etc. It goes on and on.

YOU knowing more about the health issues isn't going to change or stop him. It hasn't yet.

I didn't know anything about this world either, and I felt I had to educate myself as best I could, but finally I got to the point where I understood that no amount of MY understanding HIS issues and consequences were going to help him. Only he has that power.

Hugs to you -

ToughChoices

Hydrocodone, tramadol, and fioricet are excellent pain relievers and are often prescribed for legitimate medical purposes.
However, they are also drugs with high abuse potential.
They are opiate analgesics.

In general, opiates have depressant effects on the central nervous system, thus the caution for use in patients with a history of suicidal ideation or depression. If someone is down in the dumps, it isn't necessarily a good idea to give them a medication that may prolong or worsen the depression. It also isn't a good idea to let someone's pain rage out of control - the prescriber must weigh the risks and benefits of opiate use in patients with depression.

The depressant effects extend to the gastrointestinal nerve plexus, meaning that opiate use temporarily slows/paralyzes the GI tract. Chronic opiate abuse would almost certainly lead to chronic constipation, and straining from constipation often results in serious complications from hemorrhoids.

Ephedrine is a stimulant. It has a legitimate use in the treatment of asthma, but there are safer and more effective medications on the market for that indication.

I can imagine that an addict might abuse ephedrine in order to combat the "slowing down" effects of the opiates.

I hope you find this helpful.
-TC

Neverwanted

C wife: I am not trying to change him. I am trying to understand because I have another sister who is experiencing this with her SO and it was a question in my mind. Some of the posts I have read helped me have an AH HA moment about certain things I was and still am blaming myself for. It is part of my nature to wonder to help me understand and grow so if I come across this again - as I was baffled by his illnesses as I got to know him but did not realize he was an addict in the beginning- I will know and get the heck out before I end up with another addict.

Sorry if I offended anyone by asking. I was thinking it was not only a place to heal and concentrate on our breaking away - which has been an education as well. Simply thought I would ask for a variety of reasons.

What am I doing personally to heal?

Going to Nar A Non and a private counselor. I have PTSD from the recent suicide of the death of the woman he cheated on me with...she was an addict too - this is part of my healing...to ask questions. So I can see the signs if it happens to my kids. My siblings. Friends.

I work out. I come here and read and have posted many thanks for the help here that has been moving me through the grief and terror I endured. I could talk about that I suppose, but I wanted to ask the more pertinent things. I talk to the counselor about the real ugly stuff i saw.

I am not trying to help him. not at all. Not anymore. Was just asking questions. Sorry.

I dont know what other medical issues he has going on. I listed the ones he had. I dont expect my knowing what they all are will change or stop him. Just needing shared experiences to help me know in the future and to answer some of the questions in my past so I know what to blame myself for. If at all.

I gave up on him. I am trying to fix me. In baby steps as recommended/

BayAreaPhoenix

Oh (((Never))) - you didn't offend. I was just worried about you based on what I read. Nothing I responded was in reprimand or anything of the sort. I can understand, as I said, and helping your sister is even more understandable. I'm sorry I misunderstood - only want you to be OK and working on you - you obviously know the drill and it is so good to hear you are working on you!

Lots of hugs to you...

Freedom1990

Unfortunately many addicts have underlying mental health issues and self-medicate.

I certainly was one of them.

I had horrid reflux for years after I got clean/sober, and it got so bad that I had to have an endoscopy as I was having trouble keeping anything down.

It turned out the opening out of my stomach was scarred so badly they couldn't get the scope through it.

That problem started brewing long ago when I was still using. Crystal meth was my drug of choice, and I'd literally go days on end without eating.

I had major surgery almost 3 years ago and have not had any reflux since.

I am very blessed I didn't end up with more damage than I had when I got clean/sober.

NeedingHelp7

Yes...

My AH too has this and takes a prescribed med for it.

My AH too has this. Much opiate use constricts the lungs, thats how people die on them. My AH takes 3 different inhalers prescribed by his Dr.

My AH too has had hemorroids a few times during our marriage. He also has had chronic pancreatitis, was hospitalized for it. He now has to take pancreas medication for the rest of his life.

My AH Dr. did this for over 5 years, until he labeled him drug dependant and stopped prescribing to him, after he almost died last year from using crack and zanax too.
So he now is obtaining his opiates through pain management. Sometimes 2 different kinds. It's now over for us...I hope it's not over for his life.

My AH too takes soma. Tramadol is still very addicting to addicts, it's a synthetic opiate. I had a fit when his Dr. was going to put him on this after detoxing him last year, but he got the real stuff and what he wanted through pain management anyway.

I used to drive myself crazy reading all the info on AH meds. Because in reality, by the readings of all info sheets, he shouldn't have been taking any of them. And I would panic!

My AH too has this, and takes an antidepressant also.

My AH was hospitalized 3 times during our marriage, many times before that also.
About 1 time a year. In the beginning of our marriage it was for "med adjustments." I now know
what the med adjustments were. They were drug abuses. I was so naive to prescription addiction. I had no idea. Now I know. The 3rd time was crack too.


My huggs and sympathies to you, and even him, as hard as it is to say.

You don't know what a blessing you are tonight to me. You reminded me I need to tell my lawyer of all the health related problems brought on by AH's drug abuse.

Thankyou, thankyou.

NH7

Crazy8Canuck

I hope to add as a voice of a quad addict....alcohol 10 yrs sober, gambler 7 yrs since last bet, smoker 7 yrs smoke free and recently 6 days ago opiate addict recovering. I am a 37 yr old that has a wife and kids that I love very much and they love me, I worked in a great occupation until a medical issue wiped me out. The doc started me on 1 percocet 3 times a day in 2001....slowly the pain was getting worse and my prescription increased over time and this past summer I fianlly had a diagnosis and had 3 brain surgeries. My medical issues were finally over....I thought.

I was taking between 15 and 30 percocet a day....not 24 hrs, but between 9am and midnight. During the Summer from June till 3 weeks ago I was given 150 mgs of demoral every 3 hours and percocet in between if the pain was to much.

The pain from the surgeries has gone away...mstly and I thought I could just stop taking the pain pills and all would be okay, because I got the pills from a doctor I couldn't be like the duggies I see on TV. I wasn't stealing, faking scripts, seeking new doctors or buying illegally so I should be okay....I have had 6 days of detox and withdrawals and looking back I have to finally admit to myself that I did get enjoyment out of the pills.My wife had to scoop me out of my chair after I passed out after crushing 3 or 4 pills and drinking them in water. I had a legitimate claim to pain and the pills and I was no better than other opiate addicts. I have to clean up the same way a heroin addict does and feel the pain they do. Fortunately I have a wife that is supportive and holds my hand when I am shaking and throwing up. I am very lucky to have her.

I read that people don't understand addicts and I can assure you that I don't understand addicts and I am one. Until an addict is willing to look in the mirror and not like what they see no one can change them or get them to quit or even try to quit. I thought I felt okay and could quit....I am trying but I do crave the percocets and its my wife and kids that keep me from seeking it out. Up to 6 days ago I never had those thoughts, but now that the pills are gone and the detox/withdrawal pains are rolling in I actually have been wanting even just 1 pill.

I am proud of all of the women that posted here, you are brave amazing people. You can't change an addict...you can give them ultimatums, but you have to stick to them too.

Bless you all....I am sure your all pi$$ed off, but your only pi$$ed of because you have big hearts and care....take that love and bravery to your next realationships and I wish you all happiness.

Chuck

Neverwanted

Dear Cwife - TY for your undertstanding and concern...I love the support from the people here. HUG

Freedom - your acid reflux was due to not eating??

Needing - WOW. TY. Forgot about lazy lung on opiates and breathing problems. Lightbulb!

You husbands pancreatitis is due to opiates? Is his taking soma affecting his depression? I was thinking it causes more depression and flatness...plus when I had to take it for one week, I hated it because it seemed to trigger panic attacks. Something I despise and have suffered from all my life. In fact once I made that connection, I tossed them out.


The depression is made so much worse once the addiction passes that high feeling...and becomes a chase tail. I had to talk him down from the ledge so many times.

The abuse extended to cialis because stuff wasnt working so well on the opiates. I mean not just ONE cialis...but as abusers may abuse anything, it was 3 at a time. And he wondered why he was short of breath and had palpitations. SHEESH!

The relief from worry is a double edged sword. Im relived yet always wondering if he lives.

NeedingHelp7

Well...Dr said it could have been from his prior younger years of alcoholism, but I think opiates contributed to it. AH was on herione, crack, crystal meth, and alcohol in his younger years. He sobered a few times, and became a substance abuse counselor, then lost that job after 1 1/2 yrs and all the schooling. Then all his drugs became legal and paid for when he got on opiates, zanax, etc....He's off zanax a year I think, unless he's snuck and got back on it. I'll never know without a private detective. He has been in his glory, but dieing.

This must be difficult for you....and especially him. How did this woman commit suicide?

Neverwanted

Needing

She ended it using his gun - here is the bad part. He and I were engaged. He met her at a pharmacy weeks before. He picked her up and they began their dance. I had a ring on my finger and a pregnancy just starting. I miscarried. We had a fight so I went to his house to explain and he was there for her. The both screamed at me and came at me aggressively -

She was horribly entrenched in the opiates....beautiful girl that had lost her kids to her addiction and through three marriages at age 31.

She came in and took what was mine and he allowed it. He moved her in despite what he knew was wrong. In three weeks she was drooling, incoherent and seizing from drug abuse. She moved all of her belongings into his small home and it became inhabitable. So much so he lost it and told her to move out and he had made a mistake and wanted me back.

She had a rap sheet out of control come to find...last BF she had clocked in the head with a beer bottle and ran from the police...and into my ex ad fiance - she had no license no car...nothing but her drugs.

He had enough and asked to use my filed report from our PD to prove she was sick an harassing me. He wanted her out because she threatened suicide with said guns the night prior. I told him I would meet him at the PD and not at his home. I told him to get rid of the guns and the bullets. He did not. The PD did not want to evict her until they learned who I was and that I must love him enough to help him get her out. The issued and immediate removal for the magistrate to evict her the next day because they saw her rap sheet and knew he was in danger.

We went for coffee. He went home, I went home. I got a call. She had found the gun and shot herself in the head. I hope I am allowed to post that, if not my apologies.

She had a history of severe mental issues and arrests and suicidal tendencies.

She was far more beautiful and younger than I and he was enamoured with her. So he cheated. She was telling him she would be happy to die with him. He was detoxing after seeing her get passed out and it made him sick. As he was recovering he realized what he gave up. Told her he wished he were dead. She said CMON lets do it together,

The night he went to meet me he said he was going to talk to me. She wanted to go with him! Which means my life would have ended. She was violent and dangerous. Which is why I met him at the PD.

The PD advised him to run far and fast.

He found the bullet later and kept it and I dont know why. He took pictures of her blood all over. He said it was to remind him not to use.

Well he is back to using and now blames me for her suicide.

Im having a terrible time with this today. Some days I am ok but not today. He is a nasty evil person on or off drugs. I was lured by the cover up and got hooked.


Stupid me.

NeedingHelp7

Neverwanted, what a horrible tragedy. What sadness and a memory he will have to live with for a very long time if not forever, and you too an innocent bystander. You did your best to prevent this tragedy by telling him to get rid of the guns, and he had no common sense to do it, nor to have her locked up in a hospital. This is the scary of how far the evils of drug abuse can get.

That is just evil!!
I just read a book about things like that, called "People of the Lie" written by a christian psychiatrist. Some cross over from the disease/sickness to evil. They don't ever want to get well, they fight treatment, help, etc... They like the high, the drama, blaming others, the lieing and just being evil. And do you mean he saved the bullet that was taken out of her? You did the right thing meeting at the PD, because in reality yes it could have been you. She had murder/suicide on her mind.


I'm thankful you were smart enough to protect yourself, and you weren't hurt.
I know emotionally you were. And it will become a memory that doesn't hurt as much, in time. But after this aweful experience, drug addicts may be people you will not be able to hang around ever again, because they can trigger scary thoughts for you, just to let you know. Thats PTSD.

Okay, so now he's dangerous!!! And you need to run far and fast from him!! He has been horrible to you!!

My prayers and sympathies to you Neverwanted, and may you find a complete recovery through this,

NH7

Neverwanted

Dear needing help

I cried when I read your response because you heard me and very few have had the guts to in my own life.

The PD could not find the single bullet when they attended the tragedy. After I called the bioremediation company FOR HIM and set that up. they stripped the room. A few wks ago he sent me a tm saying he was sweeping and found the bullet. I said throw it out and why are you telling me this!

I went to see him one night and he brought it out to show me. I was horrified he picked it up and then kept it. Maybe it was his sick token to remember her by or maybe I am wrong and it was a way to try and make some sick sense out of their weird and tragic behavior.

He took pics of the bed where the blood was because his family blamed us (mostly me) for her suicide - for having an on again off again relationship with one another. That is how it is when you love an addict. You end up leaving a lot. Coming back, hoping they can get well. Had we been more steady, said they, she would not have died. So he took pics on his phone and sent them to his family telling them this could have been him as well as her - if I had not come to his damned rescue.

Yeah I dont get why he didnt remove the bullets. She had been on the floor the night before with a loaded gun staring at it. Then came into his room with a second gun later and waving it around and was high telling him she couldnt get it to fire. He took them away from her and hid one under a blanket in his closet and the bullets on the shelf above. A monkey could have found them. I was SHOCKED that two wks after when we were cleaning up I saw several boxes of ammo in the top of his closet. I LOST IT. The night we were to have gone to the PD, I clearly told him to THROW OUT THE BULLETS or BRING THEM TO THE PD. He supposedly hid the ones for that gun them under the bed. WOW thats smart. And thats what addiction does. Makes someone STUPID as HELL. She put the wrong caliber in the gun but yet it fired.

We found her medical records in all of her junk strewn about and there is a clear history of drug abuse, rehab, Dfacs and suicidal ideation and attempts for yrs. She knew my EX AD FIANCE for three weeks before she decided she was in love and took her life. She was violent and attacked him and the night I drove up she came after me as I pulled in.

He also took pictures on his regular camera of the scene before cleanup. He said it was to remind him NEVER to use again. I dont understand why he did that much less KEPT the bullet. I was DISGUSTED. I asked my counselor about it and asked why he didnt get rid of the guns and bullets and she said when someone is that wasted they dont. But he was already withdrawing he said.

As for his family saying it was our fault she took her life - that was HORRID. He cheated on me with her and I helped him even though he did that...we were ENGAGED. She had a history of suicide attempts. One of her 3 ex husbands that came out said he wasnt surprised. I guess its been going on for a long long time. She was very very sick.

And yes...she would have taken my life and his had i not gotten him to go to the PD.

I brought the report I had made of the wks prior where she had taken my cell number from my ex and was calling and laughing that she stole my fiance and for me to move on. After I saw them together I never even spoke to him so her calling me was insane.

The PD here said she had a rap sheet and one more call would land her in jail. The cops in his jurisdiction were familiar with her as was EMS.

I guess his family is just as ill as he is to have blamed us for her death. No one made her do that. As much as I hate him now and pity him, he did try to SAVE the damsel in distress because he couldnt save himself and did not want me because I insisted he be accountable for his behavior.

TY for your understanding. This is why this forum helps. Each situation is unique and makes us feel isolated. This is the only place I have found people who know what it is like can identify.