She is still drinking

Old 10-21-2008, 04:45 AM
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She is still drinking

My daughter was over yesterday and checked her MySpace page. She left it up and her new friend posted a picture of she and Megan drinking Saturday night. Megan must have discovered it yesterday when she was here. There were several pictures and my daughter definitely looked high as a kite. When I asked her about it she tried to tell me that the pictures were from the first time that she drank a week ago. But I knew what shirt she was wearing on Saturday this week. Oh the lies that they can come up with so quickly. Anyway she denies having a problem with alcohol. So what else is new, huh. But I can see the writing on the wall. When someone lies and risks a relationship of the importance of mother and daughter, we all know where it is going. So, as of today, my boundary is no contact until she is back in recovery. I know that she has the tools and can do this. I know that the problem is in the early stages and she can get back on track. I know it will not happen as long as I look the other way. And I think it may take some time as the new boyfriend is a huge enabler who is willing to sit quietly as my daughter lies to me in front of him. He doesn't get it that she will also lie to him. But that is something I am sure he will find out. Anyway, feeling a little down about it. I realize that she is going to have to hit another bottom and I am going to have to go through the pain and discomfort of detachment again. I have done it before and can do it again. Hugs, Marle
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Old 10-21-2008, 04:55 AM
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Ahh, Marle, it never gets easy does it? My hat's off to you for seeing it for what it is and digging out your recovery tools.

Your daughter is in my prayers, and from my heart I have a good feeling that she will get back on track soon.

Big Hugs Mama to Mama :ghug3
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Old 10-21-2008, 05:12 AM
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Marle, I have put your daughter and you on my prayer list. I know how difficult it is. Try to have faith that God is working in her life. The worst things that I went through during my using/drinking years turned out to be blessings in disguise.

:ghug2 :ghug2
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Old 10-21-2008, 05:22 AM
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I'm praying for you as well...

It seems like I go through the same thing with my AH.. he gets clean for a while and then relapes.. and then of course lies about it... I don't know what hurts more the relaps for the lies..
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Old 10-21-2008, 05:50 AM
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Good morning marle, This has to hurt so much. Your daughter was doing so well and now this. We do get to the point where we have to totally seperate ourselves for our own sanity. Prayers going out that your daughter gets her act together soon and that the bf sees whats going on. It's takes a while to understand the enabling part and if this is new to him~~~lets hope his HP places him in the right direction. Smiles, Bonnie
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Old 10-21-2008, 06:03 AM
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Marle -

BIG hugs going out to you - and your daughter. My husband was convinced for a long time that the only problem that he had was with drugs....not alcohol. So, he would keep drinking. He just didn't have the skill set too handle social situations and life on life's terms. His sobriety finally "stuck" (at least for nw) when he "got" the connection between drinking and drug use.

Glad that you are using your recovery tols and doing what you need too doo foor you. Ultimately it is also what is best for her.

I think that one of the things that I hate most about addiction is the way that hopes and dreams get dashed about.

Will keep you and your daughter in my thoughts and prayers.

Love -
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Old 10-21-2008, 06:05 AM
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I'm so sorry this is happening to you. But like you said, you did it before you can do it again. It will never cease to amaze me how the addict can out and out lie even when the truth is staring them in the face (like her shirt).
Stay strong, I'll say a prayer for you and her. Hopefully, like you said, it's early and maybe she won't have to fall so hard before she gets it.

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Old 10-21-2008, 06:18 AM
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I'm praying for you and Megan....
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Old 10-21-2008, 06:30 AM
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I am sorry, Marle
you and megan are in my prayers
thankfully , you have such strong recovery and you know the drill, but my heart aches for
prayers of comfort for you, and prayers that megan will find her way back Grateful
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Old 10-21-2008, 06:34 AM
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Ahhhhh, I am sorry. Thank you for sharing your strength with us as you share your pain.
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Old 10-21-2008, 06:52 AM
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praying for you and Megan. I admire your courage and and strength, you are doing exactly what needs to be done. What our girls don't realize if one drink can be the catalyst for a return to hell. If she is honest in a meeting someone will confront her.

love & hugs,
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Old 10-21-2008, 09:19 AM
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Big hugs to you and Megan. I think you're doing an excellent job of letting her deal with her issues and stepping back.

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Old 10-21-2008, 10:30 AM
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As everyone has said, you know that tools and the skills needed. I just am so sorry that the pain starts again. Prayers for you and your daughter. You're doing an excellent job by letting her be.
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Old 10-21-2008, 04:32 PM
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I am sorry about Megan.

She is just not ready yet - Her HP probably has a few more things to let her figure out.
She has her tools, so do you.

Big hugs going out your way.
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Old 10-21-2008, 05:01 PM
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You both have my prayers for serenity and her sobriety.

And hugs to you
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Old 10-21-2008, 05:29 PM
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More prayers, Marle. I also know the repeat detachment process. You can do it, sister. Even when you don't want to, you can do it. It's the right thing, for all of you.
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Old 10-21-2008, 05:36 PM
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I tried one more time to get through to the boyfriend. He put me on speaker phone and more or less ignored my questions. Said he was packing for a hunting trip. I felt it was kind of a rude thing to do given the seriousness of the situation. Told me she only drank 2 times and that he would know if she was doing anything because his sister is an addict and he knows all the red flags. And besides he is with her all the time. Now we all know that does not stop an addict. But I am heading to my meeting tonight and know that that along with all of you will give me the strength to get through. Hugs, Marle
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Old 10-21-2008, 05:46 PM
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i hate this for you & for megan. you both are in my prayers.
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Old 10-21-2008, 08:50 PM
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****{Marle}}} Sending prayer for your daughter.
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Old 10-21-2008, 09:03 PM
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I'm so sorry you are facing this situation and sorry that it looks as though Megan is doing some more "research" out there. I'm praying that she will get to a bottom quickly so she can bounce back up.

In the meantime, keep those recovery tools that you share so well with others close by your side. It never gets easier for us moms watching our kids reject recovery. But we know there is always hope. And I'm praying the recovery she has REALLY messes up her drinking and/or using.

Will be praying for y'all daily.

Hangin' In
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