OT - dealing with incompetence
 

Here's the latest on my robbery-induced stress.

Went to one of the clinics listed on our approved workman's comp poster, and it was a waste of time. I told her, from the beginning, that I was a recovering addict, and that I felt all my physical symptoms are from the mental stress I am dealing with.

I might as well have talked to a brick wall. They did a zillion xrays (all fine), she said I was suffering migraines due to stress, and gave me tylenol and alleve. Set me up with PT for the general back, neck aches.

I started crying. Told the nurse that the dr. had totally disregarded the issue I came there for....inability to focus or concentrate, crying at the drop of a hat, decreased appetite, insomnia, etc. She said "we don't deal with that".

Had to talk to PT, and started bawling again. They were much more sympathetic, took me in a back room, gave me water and a candy bar:) and let me talk. I'm not going to PT, I know I don't need it.

Calmed down, got to my car, called my stepmom and was bawling and almost hysterical. Was ready to park my butt in an ER and demand some help, but calmed down again (BTW...I'm pms'ing too, which does NOT help).

Finally calmed down, and went by work and talked to Derek. He finally pulled it out of me that I'm suffering from "post robbery stress"...I'm still embarrassed to admit it. He told me who I need to see. The paper from the clinic said I could go back to work, but I told him I wasn't until someone addressed my problems.

I will call my workman's comp case worker tomorrow, as she is very nice and understanding. These dr's are 50 miles from my house (work is 40), and I'm not driving all the way up there if I'm going to get the same BS. I will go to my own dr. and make sure he documents, thoroughly, and he will. He knows me, and will get me the help I need if they don't.

I understand, now, what Chino felt like when her daughter was being "treated" by the trauma unit.

I will not let this go. I don't reach out for help until I've tried everything I know. Derek told me to go home and relax and I told him if I could relax myself back to normal, I damned sure wouldn't be going to doctors!!!

I kept thinking, "just get home to your laptop and SR, you'll be okay", and I am. I had thought about buying a BIG bottle of vodka, but it only took a minute to realize that wouldn't solve anything.

I stopped, on the way home, got my favorite chicken dinner and when my appetite comes back, will try to eat it if Elvis will leave me alone:)

My dad had an initial appt. with a kidney specialist today...blood work has shown decreasing kidney function. The main thing they are checking him for is cancer. He survived colon cancer almost 30 years ago, and this scares me. He has a renal ultrasound and more bloodwork scheduled for Nov. 6th.

Derek was going to give me the $165 they owe me for the locksmith, when the robbers took my keys, but "someone" has lost the receipt. I will get a copy of my credit card receipt.

On a ?good note. I also met with the detective working the robbery today. They recovered the van used and a gun, have some possible leads.

This hasn't been my best month, but I'm still clean and I know where to come for support, so as far as I'm concerned, life is still good.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

Amy,
Sorry they are giving you the run around. You need help and they should give it to you but you are talking about insurance. I am going on 3 years dealing with workers comp, so I know how they are. Don't give up and I'm soooooo happy you did not stop for the bottle but for food instead.
Be proud of yourself, you came to the right place for extra support. I'm proud of you, take the time you need to get yourself better.
Hugs to you

Holy Cow, ((Amy))..I am so sorry this is happening...I am glad you are managing in spite of the incredible stress you are under...you are amazing....prayers continue for the support you need with your ptsd and prayers for some good news regarding your dad's health.... :hug: Grateful

:praying that HP sends you exactly the help you need for the PTSD and that it won't cost anything or very minimal amount....
Don't use no matter what - what doesn't kill us really does make us stronger but it bites while going thru it.

Life is still good is right, Amy. Are you getting any face-to-face support? With all you are going through at this time, the idea of "stepping up meetings and support" is popping into my head. I'd hate to see you trying to handle all this without the support and one-day-at-a-time reminders of your surviving addiction. I know it's all so overwhelming at times, but hopefully you can bring it back to the number one goal each morning and each night--staying clean. Do what you have to do to keep this number one, will you please, Amy? As long as you have that, I believe the rest will fall into place. :)

((((Amy)))))

I have been robbed at gun point several times in my life. What I discovered in myself concerning this is that all the times that this happened I had a feeling that it was going to happen. Once I even had a dream the night before that it was going to happen. I even dreamed the people that did it and recognized them and knew it was from the dream I had.

I felt a lot of guilt over this. It felt like I let it happen. What has helped me to reconcile it in my mind and heart is forgiving myself for whatever part I played in it. If nothing else there was a breach in my own personal security system. I have been overcome with the feeling that something terrible is about to happen on several occasions since the last time I was robbed. I heed to this feeling I allow myself to be very alert, I pray. I ask for protection for myself and all the ones around me. I believe several times I have been in a building and someone in it has had some sort of ill intent that was changed by the prayer.

You are a warrior ((((Amy)))) you are strong and you are also wise. The part of you that is able to fight off your addiction is also what can help you fight this PTSD.

The last time I was robbed set me in motion to get clean just thought I would add that one.

Amy, your feelings and stress are very valid no matter how incompetent the suggestions are. Trust your instincts on what you feel you need and maybe look for someone experienced in Post Traumatic Stress. You have been robbed twice, yes? That would put me over the edge too and I know I would need professional help to deal with it.

It's okay to feel the way you do...it's the way most people would feel, even if it seems uncomfortable to you. And good for you for not turning to drinking or drugs to ease the symptoms, we both know that would only make things worse.

Sending a bucket of hugs and lots of prayers that you can work through this and find a safer place to work.

Big Hugs :hug:

(((((((hugs)))))))

I don't know what else to say but you will be in my prayers...

Hi Amy, What you have been feeling is so real. The medical field out there is so busy they can't give you what you need....so you have to be your own advocate with this and it sounds like your doing a good job. Stick to your guns and get what you need ..I'm sorry you have gone through all this. Your so good at helping others and now its your turn to get something back in return. I wish you luck and love sweety~~Bonnie

No advice just sending hugs an prayers. :ghug3

(((Amy)))
There IS someone out there somewhere that can help you.
I get so tired of the "run around" we get when we KNOW we have a problem and can't find anyone to help us.


I'm praying you find some help, and can work these feelings, and fear through......

Hugs and Hugs, and Hugs....

Hey Amy! When it rains it pours. Workers Comp is a mess here in TX also. Keep doing what you are doing, things will get better. I've learned that when we are in recovery things may get hard but we must keep moving forward with our eyes focused on the prize.

you are in my prayers, I am proud of you.
susan

I called my workman's comp caseworker, but she was out and I left a message. I had left a message with my dr's nurse yesterday and hadn't heard anything.

My dr. only works 1/2 day today, so was making an appt. for tomorrow, when I got another call...it was his nurse (and my FAVORITE!!!), Candy. I've only been to him twice (I just don't do doctors unless I have to), but he and Candy remember me.

Told her what was going on and she said to get my butt in there tomorrow, and they will give me a work excuse for the days I've missed and take care of me. Even if he has to refer me out, I know he will.

I'm feeling much better about it today, and very grateful. In the days before I joined this forum, I would have probably just laid there and took whatever they threw at me...not anymore:) I realize I can't suggest to others that they seek medical help, and not do it for myself.

I'm very glad I didn't drink and am not even thinking about getting "numb" anymore. Anvil is on her way to WI, and we e-mailed back and forth last night while they were going through Montana and had me laughing..just what I needed.

((Sleepy)) - I can't even imagine getting robbed at gunpoint "several times"! The first time it happened, since no one was hurt, it didn't bother me as much. I do recognize the feelings you described though. It's like someone has taken my sense of security away from me.

Thank you all so much. I'm continuing to apply for other jobs and will keep taking care of me.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

:bounce
go Amy:)

:ghug3...Grateful

Amy...you are your best advocate...no one knows what you need more than you do. Not much advice to give just prayers and angels being sent your way. BTW..I have a family member who is a nurse with a history of drug issues (clean for a while now), but she always manages to find nursing jobs. Take care of yourself.

Dont give up - my battle is with insurance companies and its so frustrating when you need help and cant get it. You may want to try some other clinics that arent on the list while you try to get the workers comp sortted out so you can get some help now. I'm in your area and I know there are a lot of counseling places that are free or have sliding scales that are very reasonable. Another good resource i found was the county mental health department. They have lots of good resources - many of them are free and sometimes they can help with the financial battle - it sometimes comes across better if you have an advocate. I had a bit of a prejudice against county mental health but once i worked with them i found them extremely helpful and their referrals are very extensive.
If you still cant get any resolution there are lots of workers comp attorneys that may be able to help you.

Amy ,
so sorry your getting the run around but workmen comp cases are always a pain they say. Have you tried which I am sure you have looking on the internet for help? Message boards somtimes can help you get help. Like disability boards, because people are always having problems getting help and they try and post everything of where to get it.

Just a thought because it is free this way and you never know what you may find out?
Your so very strong, gosh I was robbed once I ean my house was and it took years to get over that and you were personally hit and robbed and your being so strong about it. Prayers for you, you don't need the extra aggravation. (((hugs)))

Amy,

Stay strong.

I am sorry that you are getting the run around from the insurance company.

I have never even seen a gun, let alone be robbed .... you are in my prayers.

It's a really good thing you have been in recovery for a while, and that you're educated too. People without your resources just end up lost if they don't have help :(

I'm saying prayers for you, that the frustrations ease up and soon, very soon.

My workman's comp lady called back and she is truly an angel. She recommended I go to the urgent care, because she wants to be able to pay me for the time I've missed.

I went, had to wait a while, but the dr. was great. He explained that GA's workman's comp doesn't cover stress-related things, but they will make exceptions and I should be one of those. I was amazed, but he explained that people were abusing it...claiming "stress" from being bored at work.

He is referring me to a neurologist, just to make sure everything is okay. He agrees with me going to my own dr., as my insurance is good. He wrote my work excuse as "no prolonged standing/walking more than tolerated" which leaves it up to ME as what's tolerable:) Since I was honest about my addiction, he gave me 6 low-dose pain pills, and an older antidepressant, in a low dose, that helps with migraines and acts like a sleeping pill, and he just gave me a few of those.

I feel so much better, just knowing that he validated my concerns. Also spoke with my lawyer, and he said if I had any problems to contact a workman's comp lawyer, and he would also check into one.

I dropped my paperwork off at work, and told the mgr on duty I was planning on being back Fri. I took one pain pill and, for the first time in over a week, my headache is GONE!!! I won't abuse them, but am glad to be pain free.

He made me count backwards from 100 by 7's...I told him that math was NOT my strong point, but I did it. I still can't remember stuff, like my manager's last name? Oh well.

I am going to cut my days back at work to 4, working only the nights I can actually make money. I turned down a trip for one of dad's buddies, because I didn't want to drive all night.

I've been keeping in touch with Anvil, as they make their way to WI. She had me laughing about the weather changing, every 5 minutes, in the mountains in MT, and I needed to laugh.

I can't thank you all enough for your support. Dad has his kidney ultrasound tomorrow, so a few good thoughts thrown his way would be appreciated.

((Winnie)) - thanks for the info on local counseling. The dr. I went to today was actually in Marietta, so I waved at ya:) I can also get free counseling through the GA Victim's assistance program (which I checked out, thanks to Laurie).

All I know, is I'm back to my "bring it on" attitude. No one can get me down unless I let them, and I'm not going to.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy